The Queen has undergone a successful operation to have the Duke of Edinburgh replaced.
Doctors at King Charle’s hospital in London said the operation had been completely successful.
“We removed the old duke during a four hour procedure. We then fitted the new duke. The Queen will be up and about in a few days.”
The new duke is said to be a vastly improved model. One palace insider said, “The Queen designed much of him herself. The new duke has wheels instead of legs. This will improve mobility and he doesn’t have to share the car with the Queen. He can just trundle behind. He’ll also take up less space.”
In addition, it’s been alleged that the duke now has WiFi and Bluetooth. “He’ll be able to access the Royal Amazon account. He’ll be voice activated and the Queen will be able to watch Netflix on him during long journeys and boring state events.”
In addition, the new duke will be easier to clean and maintain. “He is wipe clean which will serve as a useful way of cutting royal water usage. He’s also solar powered which will mean he’ll be able to give back to society in the form of electricity.”
It’s understood that the first royal engagement the new duke will attend will be the Queens birthday in June. He’ll have an outboard motor fitted and the Queen will ride him down the Thames as she inspects a selection of the Royal Navy’s seamen.
It’s not yet clear what will happen to the old duke. Some people have speculated that he will be used as a hat stand. A claim firmly denied by Buckingham Palace.