Smug twat who gave up smoking for New Year has no friends left

0
New depths of smugness have been plumbed by a man in Clitheroe who gave up smoking on the 1st of January. Tomothy Morning-Wood, who had...
Doctor and Child

Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”

4
Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...
Tory

NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’

0
The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today. Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...

Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears

7
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

0
It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...

Mordor agrees below inflation pay rise for Hobbits

0
Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.

‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.

0
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

0
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
Doctors

NHS struggling as electorate shoots itself in the other foot

0
With the General Election all done bar the shouting, cut-stricken NHS emergency departments are struggling this morning after 43% of the nation shot itself...

NHS Whistleblower Reveals 15,000 Children Prescribed E-cigs

0
Thousands of smokers, who trusted NHS Smoking Cessation Therapies, were expressing their outrage this morning. The smouldering tempers result from the revelation that up to...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

0
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...
Theresa May

Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit

0
The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety. A spokesperson for Meadows and...

British Public shocked to learn Pizza and San Miguel not Mediterranean Diet

0
Rochdalians are being reminded today that having a deep pan 16 inch spicy meat special doesn't count as following a Mediterranean diet- even if...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg announces plan for every UK baby to have his DNA by 2040

0
This is a key policy behind Rees-Mogg's bid for the Conservative party leadership. According to leaked documents, he is going to take his cue from...
Diabetes

Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’

0
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes. The results found that...

Boots fight elitism by pricing poor people out of contraception

0
High Street favourite Boots has been in hot water lately over the row which arose from the response regarding the morning after pill. The...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts