Hospital

Lovely Grandma catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail

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A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an...
E-Cigarette

E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’

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E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found. The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...

London Motorists furious that cyclists lives might be saved

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London drivers are currently outraged at London mayor Sadiq Khan's plans to reduce cyclists deaths. "Over half of cyclist deaths in the capital involve construction...
Supermarket

Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range

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Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company...
jogging

NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries

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People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows. According...
Nurses

Stressed nurses sick of sick people

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Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...

Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men

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A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men. Although...

Coronavirus equals UK mortality rate of Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool

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The Government has announced that as many people in the UK have died from Coronavirus as have been found dead in Michael Barrymore's swimming...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

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UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...

Singing Covid19 to the tune of Come On Eileen makes Coronavirus less intimidating says...

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In an effort to stem growing panic, the WHO has released new advice for those concerned about Coronavirus.  Virologist Dr Kevin McRowland released the following...
Boris Johnson

“Operation Cumshot” – UK gov commits to spunking £100bn on wizard wheeze

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The UK government has announce a new initiative to spend £100bn on a COVID-19 testing programme, the Rochdale Herald has learned. The initiative, the budget...

Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records

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NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...

5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic

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Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire. According...

NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism

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The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

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Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...

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