Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing
A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather.
John Welsby...
Goveid-19 now ‘out of control’ in UK.
A new, highly infectious virus - Goveid-19 - has reached pandemic proportions throughout the UK, an investigation by The Rochdale Herald has revealed.
Goveid-19 was...
Season your pets before leaving them in a hot car
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With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends.
Each year the RSPCA...
Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend
Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning.
As millions of us check up on the...
Morrissey spends days in bed
Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The...
Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers
Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade.
It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...
Crossings outside schools to be abolished to cut childhood obesity numbers
Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week.
The decision comes in a week...
Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases
The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt
A government source told us yesterday that robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis.
Dr...
Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees
The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.
I’m not against loonies, I gave Boris a job says May
A spokesperson who claims to be from Theresa May's office has called to defend Theresa May after this writer- allegedly- implied that she was...
Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
Boots fight elitism by pricing poor people out of contraception
High Street favourite Boots has been in hot water lately over the row which arose from the response regarding the morning after pill.
The...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
