Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government

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The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...

Scandal rocks vegan community as it’s revealed they’re made of meat

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For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.

Boots fight elitism by pricing poor people out of contraception

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High Street favourite Boots has been in hot water lately over the row which arose from the response regarding the morning after pill. The...

Your NHS is safe with me, says man who can’t ride bike 

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Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson MBE OBE BFD has insisted that the hospitals he's taking over from the NHS are perfectly safe in his...

Mother of three who has finished her Christmas shopping and bought all of the...

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A woman was rushed to hospital this week suffering from a rare allergic reaction to being overtly smug after completing all her food and...

Mordor agrees below inflation pay rise for Hobbits

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Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.
Nurses

Stressed nurses sick of sick people

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Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...

Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day

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Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...

STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances

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Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.  In an...
Snake

Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes

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A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man. "I get that being mortal is terrifying...

“Could Coronavirus be as deadly as Harold Shipman?” Your Coronavirus questions answered

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With Coronavirus fever hitting the nation Rochdale residents had many questions. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College answers some of them. Will Coronavirus be as...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

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The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...

NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly 

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In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...

Man that failed GCSE Science now an expert in pediatrics

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A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced...

Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts

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Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.
Refugee Doctor

Cholera stricken Yemenis welcome arrival of western homeopaths

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Authorities in Yemen have welcomed the arrival of western homeopaths in its battle against a recent Cholera outbreak. Larisa Ahmad told us, "We welcome the...

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