21,000 additional mental health workers unnecessary if Jeremy Hunt used his real name
“Imagine if you could call that overbearing parent a proper Jeremy Hunt to their face? And you could do it all your life? Just get that stress out before it builds into an illness that blights your life.”
Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies
Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband. That all changed a...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson."
Rochdale resident...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Cholera stricken Yemenis welcome arrival of western homeopaths
Authorities in Yemen have welcomed the arrival of western homeopaths in its battle against a recent Cholera outbreak.
Larisa Ahmad told us, "We welcome the...
Theresa May gives civil servants 300% wage rise for World Aides Day
Unelected Prime Minister and part time Zelda impersonator has managed to anger both equalities protesters and AIDS awareness groups with her latest gaffe.
Mrs May...
NHS declares tap water is much more cost effective than homeopathy
The NHS has declared that it's probably a better use of money to invest in tap water than provide homeopathy provision.
NHS spokesperson Dr Gary...
NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces
Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.
Theresa May’s Rituals
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales.
"Do you see...
Woman killed by drinking mineral water 15 minutes older than best before date
A Rochdale resident was found dead at home today after consuming a bottle of water 15 minutes past its expiry date.
Police told the Herald that...
Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued
A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...
Vegetables ‘have feelings too’ top scientists discover
Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown.
Researchers were observing the effect...
Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”
Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle.
Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...
Doctor of Medicine degree to be replaced with Google
A brainchild policy of Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has been leaked from the Conservative General Election Manifesto.
The policy will outline plans to increase doctor numbers...
