British Public shocked to learn Pizza and San Miguel not Mediterranean Diet

0
Rochdalians are being reminded today that having a deep pan 16 inch spicy meat special doesn't count as following a Mediterranean diet- even if...

Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots

0
Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots. In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

0
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...

NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly 

0
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...

Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears

7
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
Theresa May

Theresa May gives civil servants 300% wage rise for World Aides Day

0
Unelected Prime Minister and part time Zelda impersonator has managed to anger both equalities protesters and AIDS awareness groups with her latest gaffe. Mrs May...

World Health Organisation on standby as UK confirms youngest ever case of man-flu

0
Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.

Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet

0
In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...

5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic

0
Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire. According...
Theresa May

Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit

0
The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety. A spokesperson for Meadows and...

‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.

0
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...

Jeremy Hunt Pictures Issued To Stop People Choking

0
A new cure has been unveiled by the NHS to stop people choking - looking at pictures of Jeremy Hunt. This seemingly controversial move actually...
Rochdale paramedics

Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie

0
Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

0
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Katie Hopkins

Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder

6
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
knitting

16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak

0
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts