Health

The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will effect NHS services in any way, shape or form and...

A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather. John Welsby of Middleton was turned away from a walk in clinic...

The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the infection rates of sexually transmitted diseases. Prof Eyget Laid, who led...

Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson MBE OBE BFD has insisted that the hospitals he's taking over from the NHS are perfectly safe in his hands. This despite him not being competent to ride a bike. Saint...

People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when a Rochdale man was surprised to find when filling out...

A new cure has been unveiled by the NHS to stop people choking - looking at pictures of Jeremy Hunt. This seemingly controversial move actually has a firm basis in scientific fact. Dr Flo Ofair...

In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership with WhatsApp to improve access to patient data. WhatsApp, owned by...

A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a polling booth. Over the past 11 days, Katie has attached herself...

The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise on the booming health tourism market. “With an estimated five hundred...

Nurses have upped the ante with the Government by sensationally threatening to continue to act in a professional fashion in their ongoing dispute over pay. In a daring game of brinksmanship they are making a...

A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known in the country. Stan Dupp, a recruiment consultant from Harrogate, was...

In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given up beer and bacon and joined his local Sweatytynes to...

NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on the assumption that Hunt was a particularly pernicious form of malware,"...

There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve from the giant ice shelf that is the rest of...

Danny Moss, 41, of Milnrow happily cancelled his upcoming trip to the psychiatrist after finally concluding that there really is a shadowy cabal trying to take over the world.  The appointment, which clashed with a rerun of Time...

Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average pay, according to the Rochdale Nursing Council.    "Since hospitals have...