Singing Covid19 to the tune of Come On Eileen makes Coronavirus less intimidating says...

0
In an effort to stem growing panic, the WHO has released new advice for those concerned about Coronavirus.  Virologist Dr Kevin McRowland released the following...
Theresa May

Nutters shouldn’t be stigmatised says Theresa May

6
The hidden injustice of mental illness is something that Tories really care about, claims the woman who heads a party that has cut mental...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

1
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...

Man Flu Worse Than AIDS Cancer And Ebola Combined Say Scientists

0
We've all heard of the dreaded Man Flu in our time, but a team of scientists in Rochdale have finally catalogued the full effects. “The...
NHS

Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service

0
The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service. Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...
Hospital

Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis

0
Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement"  at hospitals across the country would put paid to...
Doctors

You can’t lock up surgeons for behaving like sociopaths, we’d have none left rules...

0
The NHS breathed a deep sigh of relief today after Judge Ian Pringle QC ruled that you can't send surgeons to prison just for behaving like coked up sociopaths.

NHS declares tap water is much more cost effective than homeopathy

0
The NHS has declared that it's probably a better use of money to invest in tap water than provide homeopathy provision. NHS spokesperson Dr Gary...
Doctor

Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre  assessors

26
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff. The move has come under heavy criticism...

Living in Italy and eating really nice food might cure depression, confirms Institute of...

0
The institute for the blindingly obvious has today proclaimed that living in Italy and eating nice food may help depression. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Man Bun

Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases

17
The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...
Drug paraphernalia

Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users

3
A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver. Nathan...

Boots fight elitism by pricing poor people out of contraception

0
High Street favourite Boots has been in hot water lately over the row which arose from the response regarding the morning after pill. The...

‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.

0
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence. Stephen...

Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”

0
Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle. Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...

Littlest Hobo declared fit for work by ATOS

0
Everyone remembers getting a little teary to the Littlest Hobo, don’t they? Each episode he’d make some friends and then leave, just as they were...

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