School Crossing

Crossings outside schools to be abolished to cut childhood obesity numbers

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Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week. The decision comes in a week...
E-Cigarette

E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’

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E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found. The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...

IMPORTANT ADVICE TO STOP SPREAD OF VIRUS

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The Rochdale Herald would like to pass on advice regarding the nasty viral infection which has reared its ugly head in the UK recently. Please...
Rochdale paramedics

Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie

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Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...

NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism

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The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise...

Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records

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NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

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International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...

Dentist warns that Halloween treats ages teeth of refugees

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The spokesman for the Royal College of Dental Surgeons has issued a warning not to feed sweets to starving children.

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...

UK obesity epidemic to be tackled by driving the Coca-Cola truck through towns and...

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Coca Cola have announced that the driver of their self-proclaimed ‘traditional’ Christmas Truck has been instructed to keep moving through the UK towns and...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

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The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Glass of orange juice

The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy

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80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and  immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
jogging

NHS study shows people with two legs run greater risk of jogging injuries

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People with two legs run a greater risk of suffering injuries while jogging or running, a new report published Friday by the NHS shows. According...

British Public shocked to learn Pizza and San Miguel not Mediterranean Diet

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Rochdalians are being reminded today that having a deep pan 16 inch spicy meat special doesn't count as following a Mediterranean diet- even if...
British Homeopath

British Homeopathy Association to strike over watered down labelling

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The British Homeopathy Association has announced a planned strike over government plans to label their medication as being ‘useless’. The head of the British Homeopathic Association...
Hospital

Hospitals to open thousands of ‘transition wards’ to end winter crisis

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Health - Health Secretary James Hunt today told The Rochdale Herald that a "space restructurement"  at hospitals across the country would put paid to...

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