A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he has ever had to show up for a meeting for which he was an optional attendee.
Despite the obvious handicap of having a terrible cold, brave salesman Steve Dickinson still turned up to work and was given a guard of honour after shunning his bed for a gruelling 15 minute meeting in which he presented crucial KPI’s which no one else definitely could have done.
Crowe was then presented with the prestigious ‘Golden Tissue’ award for Outstanding Bravery to raptures of applause, leaving his peers absolutely smitten.
‘He’s an inspiration’ said colleague Amy Jepson after the ceremony. ‘I was fighting back the tears when he was asked how he managed it and said ‘You’ve just got to crack on’. If only we could all be as brave as Steve. Sure we’ll clearly all get this bastard cold now, but we were going to get it at some point anyway, weren’t we?’
Head of accounts Susan Crumpet, who suddenly seemed to be feeling somewhat under the weather, also paid homage to her colleagues fearless commitment.
‘We feel truly privileged to have witnessed such greatness. I love that despite the fact he has a cold, he still drove 35 miles to come and sit in an enclosed room with us, basically coughing in our faces. At the end of the day, those KPI’s can’t present themselves, unless you put them on something like a Power Point slide, obviously, but the human touch is what’s required when being told you’re underperforming.’
Modest Crowe revealed he would be ‘powering through’ the rest of the day with strepsils, some sneaky internet porn and a bit of casual sexism to keep morale high.
‘I’ll be on the ‘Cheeky Lemsips’ – it’s gonna get well Lionel!!’