Music

Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A mass of floral tribute has already began to appear outside...

Rumours are spreading that CLiff Richards, who is not a nonce, is furious today after the BBC suggested that he had racked up unreasonable legal fees in suing the BBC for not ignoring him. The...

Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while on a mad Bucky bender many years ago. "I was out...

Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”

The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot Cars have tragically died in hot car during a shopping...

Phil Collins is set to release an album of previously unheard material made up of songs classified as being from the extreme subgenre of heavy metal music. The Grammy award winning artist confirmed that...

After the high profile withdrawals of many A-List celebrities, and the frankly embarrassing refusal of a string of tribute acts & pub singers, Donald Trump has turned to Dave's 80's Fun House Mobile Disco...

A couple has had their night out at an Ed Sheeran gig completely ruined by Ed Sheeran music. Married couple Steve and Barbara Dickinson from Rochdale were on their bi-annual night out on Thursday when...

Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet Hadley blamed his departure on "circumstances beyond my control", taken...

Greta Thunberg has announced that complete environmental collapse will be worth it now that Coldplay have announced they will stop touring to help save the planet. Thunberg appeared on Friday in a brand new Range...

Music - The world's most successful all-girl prefabricated band The Spice Girls have announced plans to reform. The quintet, featuring the newly-nicknamed Crusty Spice, Stairlift Spice, Surgicalsupporty Spice, Nicegingerbiscuit Spice and Victoria Beckham (registered trademark)...

With thanks (and muted apologies) to Simon & Garfunkel But Islam's not a race, they screamed into his brown face And here's to you Tommy Robinson Mohammad loves you more than you will know Whoa,...

Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before she set sail for Spain Thunberg said, "I am sailing...

Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands like Radiohead and the Foo Fighters. He told the Herald...

Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these prices they must all be bloody rich as Croesus.  Let's...

The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal outfit formed by the ecological campaigner.   It is seen as...