X distances itself from factor

0
For over a decade, the "talent" show that has built false hope in thousands and eroded the entertainment values of millions has been hit...

Dolly Parton to re-release classic ‘9 to 5’ as ‘8 to 6 on a...

0
Music industry representatives were bouncing off walls this morning with the news that megastar Dolly Parton is to re-release her classic smash hit ‘9...
Rees Mogg

Freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg to win back Conservative youth vote

32
In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs. The...

Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael

0
Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A...

Radiohead Gig Attracts Record Number Of Twats

118
Research has shown that the Old Trafford gig on July 4th by Radiohead attracted more wankers than any previous gig. It is estimated that,...

Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.

0
The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
Spice Girls

Sean Spicer to reform Spice Girls with former band-mate Paul Nuttall

0
Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of...

David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

0
Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year for stopping Coldplay touring

0
Greta Thunberg has won Time magazine's Person of the Year for her work in stopping Coldplay from touring. Thunberg said, "All of my life there...
Ramones

Onlookers stunned as man in Ramones t-shirt successfully names two band members

123
The patrons and entire staff team at The Reed public house were in shock yesterday, after a man wearing a culturally iconic but no...
Radiohead

Radiohead settle copyright spat over Remoaners’ moaning and whining

0
Radiohead have settled their claims that Remain voters have stolen all the moaning and whining directly from their back catalogue. Immediately after bringing an end...
Glastonbury

Corbyn’s speech was good but what have Cheesemakers done for me, asks man at...

19
Jeremy Corbyn attended the Glastonbury festival today to deliver a speech to a crowd of thousands. The MP, short for the Messiah of the People,...

Manilow ditches piano for oboe

0
In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe. Manilow said...

Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival

2
Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July. In the kind...
Phil Collins

Singer-songwriter Phil Collins to release Death Metal album

0
Phil Collins is set to release an album of previously unheard material made up of songs classified as being from the extreme subgenre of...

A-ha Star In Blaze Nightmare

4
A source close to 80’s Norwegian heartthrob Morten Harket, of synthpop sensations A-ha, has confirmed that the housewives’ favourite was rushed to hospital last...

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