Spice Girls Wannapee reunion tour sponsored by Tena

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Music - The world's most successful all-girl prefabricated band The Spice Girls have announced plans to reform. The quintet, featuring the newly-nicknamed Crusty Spice, Stairlift...

Songwriter reveals “Always something there to remind me” was written about Herpes

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The Burt Bacharach song, "Always something there to remind me" was written about Herpes. Or that's according to a new documentary to be screened...

Climate crisis totally worth it if it stops Coldplay touring, says Greta Thunberg

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Greta Thunberg has announced that complete environmental collapse will be worth it now that Coldplay have announced they will stop touring to help save...

All Future Covers Of David Bowie Hit To Be Recorded As Life On Titan

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The David Bowie hit Life On Mars is getting a slight posthumous makeover, it would appear. In response to NASA’s announcement about the possibility of...
Ramones

Onlookers stunned as man in Ramones t-shirt successfully names two band members

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The patrons and entire staff team at The Reed public house were in shock yesterday, after a man wearing a culturally iconic but no...
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbyn stuns Glastonbury with acapella cover of Prodigy’s Firestarter on Pyramid Stage

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Jeremy Corbyn left the bustling fields of Glastonbury in stunned silence this afternoon after performing an accapella ballad of the renowned Prodigy song 'Firestarter'. Corbyn...

Simon Cowell’s stairs win Brit Award for outstanding contribution to music industry

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Simon Cowell’s stairs have received a Brit Award for their outstanding contribution to the music industry after the reality TV star was found unconscious...
Corbyn Glastonbury

Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival

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Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...

Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West

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Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”

The Verve say lack of racism due to drugs not working

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Indie stalwarts, The Verve have revealed that the in inspiration for their hit song, The Drugs Don't Work, was their inability to be racist. The...

Home Office announce 40,000 new Police jobs to counter threat of future Justin Bieber...

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Enough is enough. Amber Rudd rounded on those who “tolerate” Justin Bieber as she told them: “Enough is enough”. The Home Secretary chided all...
Tony Hadley

Fat red faced old man quits boring 80s band

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Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet...

A-ha Star In Blaze Nightmare

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A source close to 80’s Norwegian heartthrob Morten Harket, of synthpop sensations A-ha, has confirmed that the housewives’ favourite was rushed to hospital last...

Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena

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Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear. At a...

Trump appoints Mark E Smith as musical ambassador to Europe. Uh.

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US president Donald Trump has sent shockwaves through "tin pan ally" by appointing Fall front man and legendary curmudgeon Mark E Smith as his...

X distances itself from factor

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For over a decade, the "talent" show that has built false hope in thousands and eroded the entertainment values of millions has been hit...

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