Music industry representatives were bouncing off walls this morning with the news that megastar Dolly Parton is to re-release her classic smash hit ‘9 to 5’, re-titled ‘8 to 6 on a zero hours contract’.

It’s thought Ms Parton believed it timely to release the revised song as a way of subtly commenting on the realities of working life for many decades after the release of her original song.

The Rochdale Herald’s Music in Politics correspondent spoke to an aide of Dolly’s to learn more.

“Dolly keeps a close eye on both current legislation concerning working conditions and how it impacts on the majority of people. She gets especially irked when she hears governments crowing about record levels of employment when that gain is built on eroding job security and working conditions continually to the financial benefit of a select few with most struggling to make ends meet. She’s actually pretty hot under the collar over it all.”

It’s believed profits from the sales of the revised single will be used to alleviate the burden on “working poor” by way of funding giant effigies of both Theresa May and Work and Pensions Secretary David Gayle. Both effigies will be paraded during Guy Fawkes celebrations in Lewes this year before being hurled onto bonfires.

Rumours that the real Dolly Parton will appear in Lewes on the evening of 5th November 2017 to sing her reworked classic are not substantiated, but the Herald is confident it is going to happen.

The single will be available to download within the week and a special music video recorded in a tie up with YouTube that will have code embedded allowing viewers to change the lyrics to “8 to 6 and lunch at my bloody desk every day so I’m not thought a slacker for acting like a human” if the viewer feels that better reflects their own, alternative reality.