The Pope

If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope

0
Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.

70 year old scouser claims he was never a Roadie for The Beatles

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Stephen Scully from knotty Ash in Liverpool has come forward to make the quite outrageous claim that he was never ever a roadie for...

Self Proclaimed Lennon Fan Actually Knows More McCartney Songs

1
A man who claims to prefer John Lennon to Paul McCartney actually knows more of the latter’s songs, it has emerged. Music fan Lennie Payne...

Tim Farron quits politics to record Judy Garland cover album

6
Tim Farron has sensationally quit the leadership of the Liberal Democrats this week to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a full time Judy Garland impersonator.
Middle Aged Man

Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead

24
Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...

Tragedy strikes as Dogs Die in Hot Cars die in hot car

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The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot...
Phil Collins

Phil Collins says 80s were his Coldplay years

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Phil Collins has been telling the Saga trade magazine, Zimmer how he sees the 1980's as his Coldplay years. Collins told the magazine, "Look, when...

Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.

11
It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album. The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...
Elton John

Being a Liberal Democrat is not a sin claims Elton John

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The ageing singer and renowned diva famous for her tantrums, Mariah Carey, asked Elton John about his views on the struggling political party at...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

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In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness

28
Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great...

Veteran grime artist G to the Ozzo blasts government with fresh diss track

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In a blistering attack worthy of such Hip Hop classics Tupac Shakur's Hit Em up and Nas Escobar's Ether.

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

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Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while...

Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work

4
Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...
James blunt

James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE

5
The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their...

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