Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum
Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while...
If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope
Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.
Beautiful South Issue Product Recall Over “Song for Whomever”
Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South has apologised to fans and recalled all recordings after a significant grammatical error came to light on "Song...
Google crashes as hipsters race to be “lifelong influenced” by Fats Domino
The death of the latest life-long influence of people too painfully cool for words, Fats Domino, has caused a Google Crash despite everyone thinking...
Corbyn’s speech was good but what have Cheesemakers done for me, asks man at...
Jeremy Corbyn attended the Glastonbury festival today to deliver a speech to a crowd of thousands.
The MP, short for the Messiah of the People,...
Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival
Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July.
In the kind...
Home Office announce 40,000 new Police jobs to counter threat of future Justin Bieber...
Enough is enough. Amber Rudd rounded on those who “tolerate” Justin Bieber as she told them: “Enough is enough”. The Home Secretary chided all...
Spice Girls Wannapee reunion tour sponsored by Tena
Music - The world's most successful all-girl prefabricated band The Spice Girls have announced plans to reform.
The quintet, featuring the newly-nicknamed Crusty Spice, Stairlift...
Tim Farron quits politics to record Judy Garland cover album
Tim Farron has sensationally quit the leadership of the Liberal Democrats this week to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a full time Judy Garland impersonator.
Singer-songwriter Phil Collins to release Death Metal album
Phil Collins is set to release an album of previously unheard material made up of songs classified as being from the extreme subgenre of...
Tragedy strikes as Dogs Die in Hot Cars die in hot car
The late 1990's Scottish Indy Rock community is in mourning today after hearing the news that the ironically named band Dogs Die in Hot...
North Korean rapper DMZ launches attack on US Charts with Pyongyang Style
North Korean rap artist DMZ 'exploded' into the US Billboard charts today with his latest hit "Pyongyang Style".
The song, which is his own twist...
Gary Glitter releases Christmas single, In the Brownies
Gary Glitter is releasing a new single in time for the Christmas number 1 battle.
The song, a cover version of "In the Brownies" is...
Self Proclaimed Lennon Fan Actually Knows More McCartney Songs
A man who claims to prefer John Lennon to Paul McCartney actually knows more of the latter’s songs, it has emerged.
Music fan Lennie Payne...
Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work
Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...
Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.
It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album.
The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...
