Glastonbury

Corbyn’s speech was good but what have Cheesemakers done for me, asks man at...

19
Jeremy Corbyn attended the Glastonbury festival today to deliver a speech to a crowd of thousands. The MP, short for the Messiah of the People,...

Manilow ditches piano for oboe

0
In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe. Manilow said...
Rees Mogg

Freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg to win back Conservative youth vote

32
In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs. The...
Middle Aged Man

Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead

24
Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands...
Radiohead

Radiohead settle copyright spat over Remoaners’ moaning and whining

0
Radiohead have settled their claims that Remain voters have stolen all the moaning and whining directly from their back catalogue. Immediately after bringing an end...

Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena

0
Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear. At a...
Corbyn Glastonbury

Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival

23
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...
Golden eagle

Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles

0
In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...
Kim Jong Un Submarine

Fatboy Kim to re-release his mix of Radioactivity

0
In a move to hail his comeback, the king of hereditary Marxist dictators, Kim Young Un aka Fatboy Kim, has announced a rehashing of...
Musician

Man into ‘real music’ unveils plans to spend night sneering at Eurovision

0
A 'real music' fan from Rochdale has revealed plans to spend tonight sneering loudly at the Eurovision song contest. Martin Williams 42, told the Herald "Even...

How the fuck do you follow THAT, Dave Grohl screams at Glastonbury organiser after...

18
Dave Grohl is alleged to have been quaking having to follow on from Jeremy Corbyn even exclaiming "How the f**k do we follow that." Grohl...
The Pope

If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope

0
Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.

70 year old scouser claims he was never a Roadie for The Beatles

0
Stephen Scully from knotty Ash in Liverpool has come forward to make the quite outrageous claim that he was never ever a roadie for...
live band

Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience

0
According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience. "Standing ankle deep in...
Pyongyang Style

North Korean rapper DMZ launches attack on US Charts with Pyongyang Style

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North Korean rap artist DMZ 'exploded' into the US Billboard charts today with his latest hit "Pyongyang Style". The song, which is his own twist...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

0
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

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