Trump appoints Mark E Smith as musical ambassador to Europe. Uh.

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US president Donald Trump has sent shockwaves through "tin pan ally" by appointing Fall front man and legendary curmudgeon Mark E Smith as his...
The Pope

If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope

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Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.
Rees Mogg

Freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg to win back Conservative youth vote

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In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs. The...
Elton John

Being a Liberal Democrat is not a sin claims Elton John

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The ageing singer and renowned diva famous for her tantrums, Mariah Carey, asked Elton John about his views on the struggling political party at...

Desperate Cheeto – A video by Randy Rainbow

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Ever since we first saw him, we at The Herald have loved the fabulous Randy Rainbow, but he's outdone himself this time. https://www.facebook.com/RandyRainbowOfficial/videos/1204378566330751 Keep up the...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.

How the fuck do you follow THAT, Dave Grohl screams at Glastonbury organiser after...

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Dave Grohl is alleged to have been quaking having to follow on from Jeremy Corbyn even exclaiming "How the f**k do we follow that." Grohl...

Dave Grohl invites Jeremy Corbyn to front a reformed Nirvana

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Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl has invited Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn to front a planned reformation of his former band Nirvana. Speaking to...

Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival

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Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July. In the kind...

Tim Farron quits politics to record Judy Garland cover album

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Tim Farron has sensationally quit the leadership of the Liberal Democrats this week to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a full time Judy Garland impersonator.

Beautiful South Issue Product Recall Over “Song for Whomever”

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Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South has apologised to fans and recalled all recordings after a significant grammatical error came to light on "Song...
Pyongyang Style

North Korean rapper DMZ launches attack on US Charts with Pyongyang Style

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North Korean rap artist DMZ 'exploded' into the US Billboard charts today with his latest hit "Pyongyang Style". The song, which is his own twist...
Glastonbury

Corbyn’s speech was good but what have Cheesemakers done for me, asks man at...

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Jeremy Corbyn attended the Glastonbury festival today to deliver a speech to a crowd of thousands. The MP, short for the Messiah of the People,...
Musician

Man into ‘real music’ unveils plans to spend night sneering at Eurovision

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A 'real music' fan from Rochdale has revealed plans to spend tonight sneering loudly at the Eurovision song contest. Martin Williams 42, told the Herald "Even...

Manilow ditches piano for oboe

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In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe. Manilow said...

Radiohead Gig Attracts Record Number Of Twats

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Research has shown that the Old Trafford gig on July 4th by Radiohead attracted more wankers than any previous gig. It is estimated that,...

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