For over a decade, the “talent” show that has built false hope in thousands and eroded the entertainment values of millions has been hit by wave after wave of controversy and suspicion.

The Rochdale Herald has learned that a major player in the programme is set to leave at the end of the current series.

In a quite frankly unbelievable, made-up turn of events, it has been announced that the letter X has requested to leave program which would leave producers with something of a dilemma.

What to do when the X-Factor loses the x factor?

We managed to track down the 24th character in the alphabet after he made failed attempt to get in the Countdown studios in Manchester and he spoke to us at length giving his thoughts on his time on the hit ITV show:

“They’re going to be screwed without me. Everything, good and bad, about this shit is because of me.

“When I go there will be no exploitation, excellence, sex appeal, vote fixing, remixing, err…xylophones. And as for Little Mix, they’re fucked.”

When pushed for his thoughts on his fellow co-stars and the future of the program, he was happy to share:

“Without me, that program is just going to be a tyrant, his puppet, a diva and a yoghurt seller with nothing to say. They cant spout the usual bollocks telling them “what they love about them”, but all that bleedin exxxxagerrating is out. The new format is just a blatant exercise in exploitation. You’re not telling me all these acts suddenly have loads of new songs without a team of songwriters buried in the mix. Bollocks.”

When asked if he would change his mind he told us in no uncertain terms “Im as sure about going as i am that Louis Walsh will say something culturally insensitive”

He then asked if we knew the organisers of The X games. We didnt.