US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower
IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted. One fist from a pensioner...
Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.
The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu
Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...
Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor
A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...
If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...
Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...
E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire
E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic
US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...
As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow...
Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns
The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer.
In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...
Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019
Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house...
Conservative Party logo to be replaced with picture of Priti Patel’s smirk
The Conservative Party are to replace their established 'oak tree' logo with a graphic representation of Priti Patel's smirking face, the Herald can reveal.
The...
