Sport

Prime Minister Theresa May has pledged to not remain silent on the growing problem of pee in swimming pools highlighted in a shock report released earlier this week. "Clearly this something that previous administrations have...

It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake Off winner. Knowing full well that Chelsea fans had it...

Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan. At a press conference Southgate said, "Expectations for this tournament were so low when we...

Rory McIlroy, who plays golf with a man who openly questioned Hilary Clinton's ability to sexually satisfy her husband, has continued his criticism of Muirfield despite the club voting to admit women members. "I still...

Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear of sounding like you’re a fan of Trump, Farage and...

John Terry has announced he's leaving Aston Villa today. Terry said he was leaving so that he could spend more time with Wayne Bridge's wife and kids. Terry told the assembled press, "It's been rough...

Two Yorkshire cricketers and a number of spectators were injured last night as nearly 200 dyslexic anarchists rioted at the T20. Similar riots took place in Mumbai in India and Perth in Australia as the...

The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles as part of a series of measures to reduce noise...

An actual grown up man has won a really long race around France on a children's toy.  The Team Sky rider from Cardiff, Geraint Thomas, became the first Welshman to win something after crossing the...

In honour of signing world famous football man Neville Southall to the Rochdale Herald, here are our top ten tips for real supporters and true football fans. Go football men! 1- Buy your special football...

Supermarkets across the country are reportedly completely dickhead free for the first time since 1990 according to sources. The complete absence of knuckle dragging fuckwits in supermarkets is an almost unheard of phenomenon. "It's really weird....

British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the United Kingdom out the European Union. Sources close to the prime...

Charlotte Dujardin became the second woman to win three Olympic gold medals today when she came first in the "Horse Dancing" contest this afternoon. A "close personal friend" of cyclist Laura Trott, who became...

The Toon Army are rejoicing following the news that Sports Direct Entrepreneur Sweat Shop owner, Mike Ashley, is to sell the Magpies. Realising that he is losing money hand-over-fist due to being unable get any...

Caught between "Moeen Ali spins England to victory!" and "Fury as Muslim immigrant takes YOUR place in the ENGLAND cricket team", the Daily Mail's editor was admitted to hospital suffering from advanced Editorial Conflictitis. The...

And they’re off It’s Ascot in the lead, neck and neck with Sunny Weather, but coming up on the outside it’s Posh Girls Who Look Like They Might Turn Slutty. And it’s Posh Girls, Posh...