Sport

The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.

Team GB have seen a few medal opportunities slip through their fingers in the first few days of the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics but have no fear, we're still in with a chance. As training facilities...

Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight. In this "boxing match", Floyd Mayweather, a black man known...

A vegan has reportedly completed the Great South Run today without feeling the need to tell everyone.

Horse racing journalists, tipsters, jockeys and even some dodgy-looking trainers are queuing up to apply for the Rochdale council's new Chief Executive of Betting Revenue.          Advertised inThe Racing Post at an...

A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged. The exact words used in this situation concerned a football qualifier for the FIFA world cup - a match...

POTATUS, Donald Trump telephoned and congratulated Rochdale AFC on winning the Superbowl on Sunday night. Much to the surprise of club officials. A club spokesman said, "The Chairman was catching up on Love Island when...

The journeyman striker was signed for an undisclosed amount, although it is "considerably more" than the previous record fee of forty Rothmans and a fish supper. Nuttall made his name playing in the Premier...

The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last 10 years. Three-time Tour de France winner Chris Froome says he...

Buoyed by the Supreme Court's ruling that there was no law of criminal aggression with which to prosecute Tony Blair, Millwall Football Club supporters and thugs rampaged near the high court in London today. "Bliar,...

The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles as part of a series of measures to reduce noise...

Team GB are set to announce that "Stable Door Shutting" will become an Olympic sport, The Rochdale Herald has learned. Following the UK government's announcement that perhaps it might not be a bad idea if...

Statisticians today pointed to a 25% increase in Muslims appearing among the top four run scorers in the England cricket team.  "It appears the sneaky Islamists are obtaining access to the team by posing as...

Sneaky German and part-time Finn Nico Rosberg has pulled off the all-time-shittiest Schoolboy trick by declaring the last goal the winner as the ball was already in the net!

Great British track cycling heroes Laura Trott and Jason Kenny, who between them own ten Olympic Gold medals, are to take part in the UK's first ever Olympics breeding programme designed to spawn the...

Rochdale beat Southend United at football yesterday. The game was played over 90 minutes with a break in the middle. Rochdale managed to kick the ball into the net thing 3 times while Southend didn't...