Sport

The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday, displaying the poppy. However poppies up and down the country have...

Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan. At a press conference Southgate said, "Expectations for this tournament were so low when we...

Man's best friend can now get even closer to the World Cup action. As Dogs will be allowed on the field during World Cup games.  Fifa announced today that during the World Cup, hosted by Russia, stray...

A magazine feature by Cycling Weekly on the Hinckley Cycle Racing Club from Leicestershire was lambasted today after going to print with the caption ‘Token attractive woman’ on a photograph of a female club...

John Terry has announced he's leaving Aston Villa today. Terry said he was leaving so that he could spend more time with Wayne Bridge's wife and kids. Terry told the assembled press, "It's been rough...

Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition between the length of Helen Skelton's skirt and the Egyptian...

East London charity shops are preparing for a bumper delivery of training kit and promotional items after West Ham appointed David Moyes to their bed-next-to-the-door Manager role. Moyes, who has come to specialise in...

The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal Tyson Fury was declared medically unfit to fight because he tested positive for Horlicks. The IBF have banned Horlicks, a known performance reducing beverage for a number of years now. It is...

There is widespread shock around England today after the English voting public voted 52% to 48% for the England football team to leave the World Cup despite making it into the semi-finals. Following the vote...

A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams. "It's not just the size" said knob measuring boffin Dr Klopp of Rochdale's...

Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ. Handy little blighters, their ability to handle a piece of...

In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have won gold for GB in the 3m spring board event...

Russia are set to announce plans to introduce the worlds first "performance enhanced" Olympics, we can reveal. As many around the world will know, Russia have been under immense scrutiny by the International Olympic Committee...

Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.

There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at the Rio Olympics securing the title of Britain's greatest ever...

Reports are emerging that the International Olympic Committee has convened to discuss cancelling this year's summer Olympics.  The report, which comes to The Rochdale Herald from sports correspondent Veranda Barbecue, details plans to call off...