Sport

The Annual General Meeting of the Bamford Bowls Club was rocked by a scandal when multiple mens champion David Thrimbleton was accused of cheating by a rival. Thrimbleton, 77, has won the club’s top award for 17...

The Professional Footballers Association have warned that a 30% cut in their members' wages would damage the NHS as it would reduce the amount of tax revenue the national purse received. Seriously. They actually said this. The...

Brenda "Brenda" Williamson, a Rochdale woman shortlisted for the UK Curling team but ultimately dropped from the squad, today broke ranks and claimed that Curling and some other winter sports were not really sports...

The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.

Statisticians today pointed to a 25% increase in Muslims appearing among the top four run scorers in the England cricket team.  "It appears the sneaky Islamists are obtaining access to the team by posing as...

Bernie Ecclestone is said to have received the news of his mother-in-law's kidnap with mixed emotions this morning In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale Herald this afternoon he told us; "It's not everyday that you...

Sneaky German and part-time Finn Nico Rosberg has pulled off the all-time-shittiest Schoolboy trick by declaring the last goal the winner as the ball was already in the net!

The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last 10 years. Three-time Tour de France winner Chris Froome says he...

Spain’s bullfighters have won the inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup in Brazil, narrowly beating the foxhunters of England in the final. The competition, in which teams from different countries competed to inflict the maximum...

Football fans worldwide embrace each other in collective schadenfreude In their smart new uniforms designed by Hugo Boss, Germany's topsporters had been confident of a victory over the World.  The pundits were confident, but it...

The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be able to be accepted in time for the next World...

Team GB are set to announce that "Stable Door Shutting" will become an Olympic sport, The Rochdale Herald has learned. Following the UK government's announcement that perhaps it might not be a bad idea if...

In a move heralded as a new, cleaner era for the International Olympics Committee Lord Sauron announced announced his candidacy for the presidency of  the movement during the opening ceremony of the Rio 2016...

The Queen has signalled her approval for Meghan Markle to marry Prince Harry Kane. Despite her recent wedding to that "Bastard" (sic) ginger grandson of hers, the reigning monarch is ready to dissolve the marriage...

Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.