New UKIP leader having hypnotherapy to stop him saying “I’m not a racist, but”...
UKIP’s press officer Ms Gline Garafe reassured a nervous nation today but stating that UKIP’s new leader is undergoing hypnotherapy to stop him saying...
Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die
Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness.
"A bad...
Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate.
Speaking just before...
Boris urges Tories to get behind May as it makes it easier to stab...
Boris Johnson has today reprimanded Conservative Party Members for attempting to organise a coup and not asking him to join in. In his message,...
Time Team special feature digging for past evidence of honesty in British politics
Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang...
Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza
"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
Special place in hell for people who put kisses on Facebook comments
An ancient Biblical commandment that has been left out of Bibles and Torah for thousands of years has finally been translated.
Archeolinguist Barry Wordsworth told...
On St David’s Day, everyone at the Rochdale Herald would like to wish our...
So "Popity Ping" to you all.
Have a daffodil
Corbyn goes 39 under par beats Kim Jong il’s record
Jeremy Corbyn has announced his decision to retire from Golf after taking it up yesterday and shooting a record breaking 39 under par at...
Tommy Robinson fitted with Cone of Shame
Ex-EDL frontman turned solo hate preacher, Tommy Robinson, has become the first human to be fitted with a "cone of shame."
Medical professionals deemed the...
Tony Blair on the shortlist for Nobel Peace Prize
Former Prime Minister Anthony Charles Lynton "Tony" Blair has been spotted on this year's Nobel Peace Prize shortlist.
Famous for his support of fun loving...
Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin
Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU.
The news comes after...
Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump
The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump.
“It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins.
“Only a sick,...
Daily Mail reveals that travelling on Virgin trains cures cancer
In a surprising u-turn, The Daily Mail has reported that travelling on Virgin trains cures cancer.
The report comes a week after it was reported...
