Corbyn washes feet of the poor in Belgravia
Our saviour, JC, for it was he, seen on the streets of Belgravia.
Blessed are the poor, the meek, and the lowly. For lo, their...
Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation
News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee.
It is thought he...
Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up
After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish...
Nigel Farage thrilled to hold onto Question Time Seat
Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit...
UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard
The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...
Santa under pressure to explain unfair listing system
The popular dispenser of Christmas gifts, Santa Claus, has come under pressure today to explain the process behind the compilation of his Naughty and...
Daily Express launches Diana 20th anniversary commemorative sticker album
The Daily Express and Panini have announce the launch of a commemorative sticker album for the 20th anniversary of the late Princess Diana.
Express readers...
Nation Ecstatic As Dapper Laughs Finally Disappears Up Own Arse
Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick...
Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week.
Hopkins's reputation went into an...
ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement
Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics.
In an interview he...
Sports Direct worker in critical condition after selling bag for life and giant mug
Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock.
Mary...
Ant in rehab after Dec shoots him in the eye with paintball gun
The North East was rocked today as Ant revealed he has been shot in the eye by long time friend and co-presenter Dec.
Sir Philip Green in Robin Hood Shocker
Serial cash withdrawer Sir Philip Green has caused fresh controversy today with claims that revered British folk hero Robin Hood was the' worst sort...
Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII
Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...
Paul Nuttall denies lying about surviving the sinking of the Titanic
UKIP leader and MEP Paul Nuttall Sunday issued a stern denial that he had lied about surviving the sinking of the Titanic on April...
Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers
A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.
Stating confidently that “It is,...
