Dave Vidual, Head Chair of the National Association of Anarchists, said yesterday in a shockingly frank admission that most anarchists, while diametrically opposed to the concept of the police as an extension of the state, do think they look pretty snazzy, as it happens.

“Look, obviously I’m not encouraging or condoning the creeping militarisation of our emergency services under the guise of anti-terror measures in ANY WAY – but you have to admit, those calf-length boots, and those little black sweaters they wear under their vest? Phwoar…

Top that off with all that cool, matte black tactical looking shit that’s probably just a torch or a keyfob or whatever, and they look better than them lads in “The Matrix”, which every anarchist knows is about the coolest film ever made… We’ve been trying to get that look for years, but we don’t have the budget – our Kev’s mam does what she can on her old Singer, but you don’t get the “insectile, production-line” look that their shields and visors have… dead stylish.”

A police spokesperson said “Did they really say that? I thought they were taking the piss… I’ll level with you, a few of us wouldn’t mind growing some dreads but the Sarge is well against it – says it cultural appropriation!”