The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on subjects such as climate change, global conflicts, aid and trade.

Rioting comes hand in hand with the G20 Summit and this year is an exceptional example of civil disorder which has seen arson, vandalism, and violent clashes between police and protesters.

One such protester, who wishes to be known as ‘FashBash’ was in the process of slashing the tyres and urinating on the door of this reporter’s rental car when an impromptu interview began.

“Ah sorry bruv, I thought you was an imperialist scumfuck, I didn’t see your Dead Kennedy’s shirt.”

I asked him why he was mindlessly vandalising cars with crowds of others wearing plastic Guy Fawkes masks.

“We’re here to protest the capitalist pigs in their ivory tower, who care only about their wealth at the exploitation of the proletariat; we do that by setting fire to cars and breaking shop windows of people that have absolutely nothing to do with the ruling elite.”
I asked whether this was ‘FashBash’s’ first protest come riot.

“Nah bruv, this is my 3rd battle against the man. I did the last two summits aswell.”
How did they compare to this one

“Well, that pig Trump is here this year which got us all excited. We were worried that we wouldn’t get here in time, but the German metro network is pretty fantastic, we got great cheap flights over then train and tram straight to the city centre. It’s a great credit to the German people to have such organised, efficient and affordable transport.”

“It’s a bit of a shame we moltoved that tram cart and smashed the station thinking about it.”