Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...

1
The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in...

Jeremy Hunt Pictures Issued To Stop People Choking

0
A new cure has been unveiled by the NHS to stop people choking - looking at pictures of Jeremy Hunt. This seemingly controversial move actually...

Donald Trump costumes selling out faster than Kim Jong Un disguises this Halloween

2
Once again the time of year when all the ghouls and monsters come out to play is upon us. But enough about the tete-a-tete...
extraterrestrials

Message from aliens intercepted. 

0
Scientists at the Laval University in Quebec have intercepted what they believe to be a message from extraterrestrials. The message was received encoded in modulations...

Rochdale UKIP councillor demands best of three for  Re-Referendum

0
Following the announcement that Labour leadership challenger Owen Smith has promised to hold a second referendum on Brexit if he topples Jeremy Corbyn in the upcoming...
Michael Gove

We’re nothing like Michael Gove, insist Weasels

0
Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.
Pensioners

UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive

0
New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming

0
In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

4
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...

Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards

4
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...

EU to offer May reproduction of Munch’s The Scream to hang in 10 Downing...

9
The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in...
Peppa Pig

Peppa Pig to become Cara Camel in Halal makeover

0
Exciting new changes are afoot in the world of Cartoons today, with a children's favourite set for a spectacular modern makeover. Creators of the famous...
Ramones

Onlookers stunned as man in Ramones t-shirt successfully names two band members

123
The patrons and entire staff team at The Reed public house were in shock yesterday, after a man wearing a culturally iconic but no...

Disaster as it’s revealed Government only has enough Care badges for 1 in 5...

0
Undercover reporters for The Rochdale Herald have discovered that the Government only has enough "Care" badges for 1 in 5 care workers as part...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

0
Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...

Mecca Bingo rebrands as Bethlehem Number Snap

4
Britain's biggest bingo operator Mecca Bingo is to be rebranded "Bethlehem Number Snap" following pressure from right wing political groups a spokesman for Mecca's...

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