Plain wooden coffin

Rochdale man takes own life after using the word “Stat”

1
Local person and Rochdale Herald editor Quentin D.Fortesque has today ended the sad experiment that was his life, after an ill-advised use of the...
Millionaire

Tax efficient billionaires back plans to close tax loopholes for window washers and cleaners

4
The Taylor Review into modern working practices this week revealed an alarming tax loophole that is robbing the honest British taxpayer of billions in...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

0
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...
Buzz Aldrin

Buzz Aldrin says not punching Trump is his greatest achievement

42
Buzz Aldrin has suprised many today by saying that his greatest achievement is not punching Donald Trump. Mr Aldrin attended an event where the...
Drinking Wine

Experts confirm mulled wine is horrible, Britain rejoices

0
Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon...
Ross and Rachel

Chilcot Report reveals Ross and Rachel WERE on a break

8
With the kind of speed, thoroughness and ability to keep his finger on Britain’s zeitgeist that has come to be expected from him, the...

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

10
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
Fruit Salad

Fruit salad cancer risk

0
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
NewsThump

Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act

Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act. The tech boffin was asked...

Firefighters called to Downing St after woman stuck in windows retrieving solid policy document

0
Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve...

Topless Danczuk in topless holiday prison catfight scandal

0
The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God...

VAR becomes favourite to win Sports Personality of the Year

0
VAR is now the favourite to win BBC Sports Personality of the Year. It marks a remarkable turnaround in VAR's fortunes after spending the...

Breaking News: Hundreds of MP’s feared dead in Catastrophic Westminster fire

0
This could be the headline if the Houses of Parliament aren't upgraded. A one off special of the show 'Homes Under The Hammer' will be...

Rochdale UKIP councillor demands best of three for  Re-Referendum

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Following the announcement that Labour leadership challenger Owen Smith has promised to hold a second referendum on Brexit if he topples Jeremy Corbyn in the upcoming...
Man in Waiting Room

A&E waiting times fault of immigrants says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...

0
A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four...
Rees Mogg

Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion

55
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...

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