Farron leaving politics to watch VHS of “Brokeback Mountain” in mountains with friend
Tim Farron, Leader of the Liberal Democrats is set to resign his position after an embarrassing swing in his constituency, that saw him slimmly...
People’s Republic of Kensington wins oxymoron of the year award
The people of Kensington & Chelsea, one of the richest boroughs in London, having elected their first Labour MP, have taken things one step...
Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline
Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Government to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons
The Government has announced plans to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons. The announcement comes after the successful conclusion of a...
Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’
Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe.
"All that was left was his right...
Man who can tie his own shoelaces favourite to win Burnley’s Got Talent
Headlining the, new, ITV Spring schedule is the hit series, Burnley's Got Talent, hosted by one of the Ant and Dec twins.
Described by the...
Rochdale Man’s attempt to iron his shirt declared a blazing success
Unbelievably, a Rochdale man has found the iron and ironing-board and pressed his Friday night drinking shirt, unaided. Last Friday, Alan Bloke (37) was...
Stereotyping men now a hate crime: Rochdale cracks down on Misandry
Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being...
Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
Woakes Croaks – Jokes Hoax Chokes Stokes’ Folks
It has been revealed that a story about England cricket all-rounder Ben Stokes, which was definitely not printed in the Rochdale Herald, was a...
New Doctor Who to charge for consultations according to Jeremy Hunt
As science fiction fans eagerly await the announcement from the BBC about the identity of the umpteenth actor to play the timelord, The Rochdale...
May dissolves Parliament and calls snap General Election
Theresa May has called a snap general election claiming that divisions at Westminster risked hampering the Brexit negotiations.
The Prime Minister will require the support...
FA enquiries into unusual betting
The Football Association today launched an inquiry into what it described as 'very bizarre' wagers placed with bookies regarding recent matches.
The FA spokesman, Brian...
Moaning about stuff easier than dealing with stuff, scientists reveal
Scientist have discovered that moaning about your problems to people is much easier than dealing them. Professor Abra Cadabra of the Universality of Rochdale concluded...
New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...
