Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low

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The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something. “It’s a...

VAR becomes favourite to win Sports Personality of the Year

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VAR is now the favourite to win BBC Sports Personality of the Year. It marks a remarkable turnaround in VAR's fortunes after spending the...
Nuclear Bomb

Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...

The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
Chernobyl Fallout

Scientists warn against wearing Ukrainian underpants because Chernobyl Fallout

Scientists from the University of Kiev have issued a stark warning to people all over the world about the dangers of wearing Ukrainian undercrackers.

Twitter Breaks Under Strain of Highly Original Wit

Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham. Millions of original witsters...
corbyn

Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn

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'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon. He will speak from the top of...

Gary Lineker to present MOTD in bejewelled jockstrap if BBC scrap gender pay gap

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Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand. Former...
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

8
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.
Theresa May

May dissolves Parliament and calls snap General Election

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Theresa May has called a snap general election claiming that divisions at Westminster risked hampering the Brexit negotiations. The Prime Minister will require the support...

Scandal rocks vegan community as it’s revealed they’re made of meat

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For years normal people have been subjected to snooty vegans looking down on them and preaching how immoral they are for eating animals just because they taste delicious.

New Far Right Perfume Released.

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In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...

UK Satirists mourn the death of Sir Antony Jay

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Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a...

Linkin Park’s poignant question answered

The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and people might not like the answer. According to scientists, who have been...

Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag

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Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...

UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself

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UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...

UK moves to a pocket full of posies phase of Coronavirus plan

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The Government has this morning announced, it has begun the "pocket full of posies" phase of its Coronavirus plan. Spokesman Bill Board said, "We use...

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