Electoral Reform Society mislays dictionary
The Electoral Reform Society has admitted they've lost the Collins Gem dictionary they had lying around the office a few weeks ago, making them...
Massive twat claims moral high ground
Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of...
On St David’s Day, everyone at the Rochdale Herald would like to wish our...
So "Popity Ping" to you all.
Have a daffodil
“Curling is so boring I needed vodka Red Bulls to stay awake” says banned...
As the Olympic curling competition reaches its 14th straight day, Russian athlete Alexander Krushelnitsky has tested positive for the stimulant RedBull and been banished...
OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
High Court Judge gives blow job to Brexit
Theresa May's assertion that "Brexit means Brexit" has been met with a blow with a reply of "Democracy means Democracy" by the high court...
Study finds people with pixelated faces 70% more likely to commit crime
A study carried out by some of the country's top criminologists has highlighted a surprising correlation between people with pixelated faces and a predisposition...
Man begins month long quest to get fit
In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum
Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while...
KPMG look for pension fund down the back of their sofa
The Senior Outsourcing Revenue Maximisation Vice President for KPMG, the 'big four?' auditor under fire for signing off Carillion's accounts months before its collapse,...
Johnny Foreigner can zip it on Brexit
The government has banned foreigners from advising on Brexit.
No really.
The government has really banned advice on Brexit from non-British people.
That's not even satire.
What the...
Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator
"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a...
Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic
Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the...
Vatican declares official miracle after England win on penalties
The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first...
