Hipster MP demanding new laws be written on slate

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We just tell all the farmers growing baby cows to leave them alone to live as they did in the wild. They can all start mining slate. Any excess they have they can sell to the restaurants in their area for use as napkins and plates.

UK is an American Prison according to Alex Jones

The UK is a gigantic American prison according to balding conspiracist and radio gob Alex Jones- and Rochdale is the proof. The 42 year old-...

Nick Clegg and the Rise of the Alt-Righteous

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The Alt-Righteous, or Always Terribly Self-Righteous, are a loose group of people claiming uber-liberal ideologies but with somewhat different behaviours. They vehemently reject mainstream opinions...

Daily Mail and Newthump one and the same?

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Rumours are riff in the cut throat world of satire that just like Michael and Latoya Jackson were almost definitely the same person the...

Paul Nuttall Claims June 8th Ballot May be Rigged

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Paul Nuttall, temporary leader of UKIP, faced calls to stand down this morning from the establishment after commenting on the upcoming general election. Speaking to...

Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...

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The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply. Labour spokesman, Stan...

Celebrities are over-rewarded claims famous, multi-millionaire, award winning star and author on accepting his...

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David Walliams has, in a stunning show of hypocrisy and with no hint of irony, claimed that celebrities are over-rewarded as he accepted an...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

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Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.

Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual

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We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade...

EXCLUSIVE: Apple customers will be forced to install ‘iBalls’ to use new SCREENLESS iPhone...

Tech giant Apple has refused to comment on reports that customers will be forced to replace their own eyes if they want to use the new iPhone 9, which will be sold...

Canoeist wins Olympic Gold for canoeing

A canoeist fulfilled a lifetime's ambition last night after winning Olympic Gold for Britain in Rio. The Rochdale Herald would like to congratulate the canoeist...

Waterloo Road Grandma School Farce

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A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person...

Phillip Green to give his entire worldly goods to charity and live naked in...

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Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he...

Outrage as Dawn French confirmed for lead role in The Diane Abbot Story

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Anti-racism campaigners were up in arms Wednesday following the news that Dawn French has been chosen to play the lead role in the upcoming...

May May trigger Brexit in May? Maybe

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Theresa May today revealed her plans and a slogan for Brexit; a bitter, lonely and incontinent future with seventeen cats and no continent. The slogan...

Death, Taxes and Rail Fare rises

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A report issued by the TUC today shows that rail fares are rising twice as fast as commuters levels of despair. The trades union...

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