Middle class first time buyers struggling to afford luxury and luxury homes
Middle class first time buyers are up in arms over house prices this week as the housing market continued to slow while the price...
George Michael declined 33rd heart transplant after ‘giving them away’
The 80's pop sensation 90's cop bothering loiterer and naughties stoner George Michael has been refused the vital surgery by the NHS.
Chief Cardiovascular Surgeon...
Salisbury hospital closes and two critically injured after being exposed to Jeremy hunt
Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt.
The...
Teresa May to trigger Brexit after finding Shergar
Teresa May has finally announced her cabinet's decisive plan to trigger article 50 reminding Brexit voters that it is still "on her to do...
Theresa May autobiography ‘Thatcher In The Rye’ for September release
Controversy was the buzz word in the publishing world today with news that Theresa May has handed in the manuscript for her autobiography "Thatcher...
Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Boris tweets ‘I’m safe’ after car crash interview
Britain's comedy foreign secretary, Boris “The Bewildered” Johnson, is lucky to be alive and well, tweeting “I’m safe!” just moments after his disastrous interview...
Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover
Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories.
We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...
Man receives bravery award for going into work with Cold
A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he...
Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”
Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee.
It's a...
One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, insists Theresa May
Alarmed by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's threat to cross the floor of the House of Commons to challenge for the Tory leadership, Prime Minister...
David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...
There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending...
Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week
Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced.
The officers, obese men dressed in...
Daily Mail accuses BBC of not being impartial on Brexit
The Daily Mail has accused the BBC of ignoring all the positive benefits Brexit has brought.
In an editorial, the paper says that the BBC...
Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...
Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population
The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...
