British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit
Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...
Ban on new celebrity Chefs
The government is set to introduce legislation preventing the creation of new celebrity Chefs, after pretentiousness levels in the UK became toxic.
It...
Theresa May reveals plans for future funding cuts.
Theresa May faced the press this week in a hope to clarify future government spending. In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale Herald she...
“Leave scientists” confused by spoon
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...
Nigel Farage rumoured to replace Nigel Farage as UKIP leader
Nigel Farage's successor will be announced at UKIP's Bournemouth conference tomorrow but a party insider has let slip that his replacement will be Nigel...
Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister
In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides...
London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
Sports Direct worker in critical condition after selling bag for life and giant mug
Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock.
Mary...
Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.
The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract.
Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been...
Labrador accused of virtue signaling by other dogs for returning thrown ball
A Labrador has been slammed by fellow dogs for 'conforming to archaic, patriarchal stereotypes' after returning a ball thrown by its owner, it was...
Facebook losing young members because of FIND OUT WHY BY CLICKING HERE NOW!!!!
Facebook is losing young users because they're less susceptible to extremist clickbait than middle-aged idiots.
Suggestible older plonkers who can't think for themselves are still...
Gove dances The Macarena at Cenotaph, scores 9’s
Michael Gove danced a scintillating version of The Macarena at the Cenotaph, scored straight 9's but The Sun photographer missed it.
Today at the cenotaph...
‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...
Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...
Britain First Demands Mornington Crescent Be Renamed Mornington Cross
“If they want to have religious symbol in the name, they should rename it Mornington Cross, a proper Christian symbol, much more British,” Golding said.
Cockroaches latest to quit I’m a celebrity, after refusing to touch Katie Hopkins.
Following on from yesterday's shock departure of the venomous snakes, an intrusion of cockroaches have also terminated their contract to appear on this years...
Rees-mogg to donate communion wafers to food banks to alleviate hunger with uplifting religious...
Community pressure group VFAC (Vegan Food Advocates for Catholicism) have reacted with dismay today to news that Jacob Rees-mogg MP has donated one tonne...
