Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars
Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
X distances itself from factor
For over a decade, the "talent" show that has built false hope in thousands and eroded the entertainment values of millions has been hit...
Is Daily Mail Editor Paul Dacre the most flaccid cockgoblin in the UK?
Unsubstantiated sources allege Dacre is comfortably the vilest hate-peddling shitweasel in the UK.
Feel free to tell us if you disagree with these allegations. But...
Flexitarians disappointed to learn that it means same as omnivorous
Leading flexitarians have been holding emergency talks about revelations that flexitarianism is just the same as being omnivorous.
Research from Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Mary and Joseph to appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show following immaculate conception doubts
The parents of Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, will appear on a festive edition of the Jeremy Kyle Show next week, following doubts over...
Idris Elba to play Duke of Wellington
In what has been seen as an homage to Brexit, Idris Elba is to take on the role of The Duke of Wellington in...
Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.
Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...
A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey
The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities
A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans.
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
Man on cocaine has best idea ever
Barry Inferness, a 34 year old brick layer from Scotland made the discovery at a house party in Smallbridge last week;
"A just thought, yer...
Police called after black man beats the snot out of white guy live on...
Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight....
Tommy Robinson converts to hipsterism in prison, plans to open falafel stand in Shoreditch
Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic falafel stand...
Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse
Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...
New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...
Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error
Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...
