“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green
The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...
Activity holidays not holidays – survey finds
A survey carried out by the Herald shows Britons are increasingly of the opinion that lying by a pool in the warm sun and...
Survey reveals homeless choose to live on streets so they cannot appear on Come...
To many, the issue of homelessness invokes thoughts of a person falling on hard times, perhaps even drink, drugs, or criminality. Now, the latest...
Government announces new mascot for Brexit Will of the People
Brexit Minister, David Davis, today announced the launch of a new campaign which aims to give Britain's exit from the European Union a more...
Foreign Office warns tourists not to travel to Iran while Boris Johnson is foreign...
In a move that has rocked the travel industry, British holidaymakers have been banned from travelling to any destination that Boris Johnson has already...
Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor
A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...
Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst
The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles...
Corbyn supporters call for reselection of Copeland constituency
After Labour's marginal win in Stoke and devastating Loss in Copeland by elections, Left wing Labour supporters are calling for reselection of the constituency.
Speaking to disappointed...
Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.
It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album.
The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...
Couldn’t organise a piss up at a brewery now Couldn’t open an envelope at...
People bored with ways of describing the gross ineptitude they see around them on a daily basis in work, in the media, in government and politics...
Artisan coffee is actually just coffee, admits pretentious twat
A pretentious twat from Rochdale has admitted that so-called artisan coffee is actually just the same as all other coffee, just a bit more...
Man dies of boredom after chance meeting with vegan who does CrossFit
A Rochdale man has died after being placed near a group of Gym buddies at a Christmas party.
Horace Cope was rushed to hospital after...
Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS
Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional.
His father, Robert...
Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...
A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate.
Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a...
Ryanair confirm passengers to fly planes from 2020
Troubled budget airline Ryanair today announced plans to ease their ongoing pilot strike issues by confirming they will now charge customers to fly their...
Greater Manchester Road Planning Department forced to resit Key Stage One after failing finger...
Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the...
