Theresa May declares ‘sit down session’ with Trump a huge success
British Prime Minister Theresa May Friday declared her "sit down meeting" with newly elected US President Donald Trump to have been "a roaring success".
"He...
World shits itself after Putin spotted smiling
Political commentators in Moscow are all-a-chatter today over the unprecedented gossip that Vladimir Putin has been observed smirking slightly.
The current record was set in...
Pooh denies grooming allegations
Aging entertainer Winnie The Pooh is in the headlines again as yet another scandal dogs him.
The bear, who was linked to a series of...
Do I still get lunch asks hungry 6 year old
In light of the slim Conservative majority, primary school children up and down the nation awake today uncertain of their future meal prospects.
"Will I...
TFL confirms London Underground to be extended to Scotland by 2021
London's continued plans to absorb the entirety of Great Britain into the never ending tentacles of its grotesque boundaries were handed a huge boost...
Elderly white bloke invoking blitz spirit wins Brexit’s Got Talent
In an emotional final show, 102 year old Tommy Atkins held off challengers by singing Vera Lynn songs in a quavering voice in front...
ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout
ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.
IKEA announce new post Brexit home-ware range
Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the...
Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
“Travelling on virgin trains causes cancer” says Daily Mail
Health experts for the Daily Mail have revealed new evidence that travelling on Virgin trains causes cancer.
Daily Mail columnist, Biff Wellington told us, "We've...
Bus driver not a bastard
Commuters in Ormskirk were shocked today when a bus driver actually waited at a bus stop to allow a late arriving passenger to sprint...
Songwriter reveals “Always something there to remind me” was written about Herpes
The Burt Bacharach song, "Always something there to remind me" was written about Herpes. Or that's according to a new documentary to be screened...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Emmy Awards honour pale minorities
Rami Malek has won the Emmy Award for best leading actor in a drama. He is the first minority actor to win in 18...
Craft beer hand carbonated with bicycle pumps marks last throes of hipsterism.
The cult of hipsterism which has seemingly infested the planet since forever appears to have finally reached its tipping point, The Rochdale Herald has...
ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity
ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.
