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Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories

The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage. "It's just...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

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The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

‘MPs Must Respect Democracy’ Demand People With Negligible Grasp Of Democracy

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MPs from all parties and from all areas of Britain are being called upon by smug triumphalists to deliver a near unanimous vote in...

School sex education classes to be replaced by Love Island

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School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided. Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw...

New Britain First leader Wayne Cummings apparently not a made up name

Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's...

Internet user deliberately clicks on pop-over advert and makes history 

A man from Bury in Lancashire has deliberately and purposefully clicked on a pop up ad that covered the entirety of the content he...

Man kills woman

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A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman This article...
Theresa May

Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’

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As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...

Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council

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On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.

If anyone is going to offer stable leadership it’s us, say bolted horses

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Bolted horses around the UK have taken to social media to suggest that they could provide better leadership than Theresa May.
live band

Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience

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According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience. "Standing ankle deep in...

Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords

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It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night. The blow, sponsored by a rogue...

Poldark overwhelming choice to lead Government of National Unity

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Popular TV star, the dark, brooding and enigmatic Ross Poldark has emerged as the main contender to lead a Government of National Unity as...

Radiohead Gig Attracts Record Number Of Twats

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Research has shown that the Old Trafford gig on July 4th by Radiohead attracted more wankers than any previous gig. It is estimated that,...

Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off

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Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off. "I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...
Cyclist

Man whose bike cost more than first house deposit forgotten what he was trying...

A middle aged man from Bamford is suffering from existential angst after realising his bicycle costs more than the deposit for his first house.

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