Thousands injured after Hypocrisy Bomb detonates at Daily Mail Headquarters
Thousands of Daily Mail employees were left hideously disfigured after an extremist hypocrisy bomb detonated under their lair at Northcliffe House.
Man begins month long quest to get fit
In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
Theresa May to change name to Votey McVoteface to secure youth vote
Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election.
With the election a matter of hours away...
Man whose bike cost more than first house deposit forgotten what he was trying...
A middle aged man from Bamford is suffering from existential angst after realising his bicycle costs more than the deposit for his first house.
Rochdale footballer in record 198p transfer
Rochdale football star, Wayne "Chopper" Gascoigne has been transferred to Accrington Stanley for a record 198p (€1.77) and a box of steak and onion...
Teenager with first name ‘Giggs’ finally, inevitably, murders his father.
Giggs Johnson (17) was found guilty of murdering his father at Rochdale Court yesterday. In an unusual move the foreman of the jury addressed...
Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel
The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...
British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...
GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...
Jeremy Corbyn appoints his teddy bears and security blanket to cabinet
The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed...
Great repeal bill to herald the return of Spangles
The government's planned "Great Repeal Bill" to change 44 years worth of EU legislation into British law is slated to help turn the clock...
Sturgeon First Reserve for Brexit Talks Peter Duncan
Theresa May has committed to involving all "key stakeholders and significant leaders" in a working group on the UK's Brexit strategy.
NRA and Gideons to issue guns in bibles
In response to the recent awful church shooting, the question has to be, why can’t everyone have guns?
If everyone was armed this wouldn’t...
Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France
Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...
Only 17 more sleeps until numpties stop saying how many sleeps until Christmas
The London Sleep Clinic has today confirmed that it should only be necessary to go to bed 17 more times before everyone regains the...
British tourist arrested in Frankfurt after tunnelling out of passport control and trying to...
A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station.
The tourist is understood to have been queueing...
