Cocaine price plummets after death of Tara Palmer Tomkinson
The National Crime Agency has warned MP's that the Class A drug is 'set to flood the market' after the untimely death of Tara...
It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
Man with double-barrelled surname good at cricket.
MCC members expressed their delight yesterday that at long last someone with a proper surname was good at cricket.
"It's a shame young Toby Roland-Jones...
Brexit bias uncovered in Westminster
After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in...
Rochdale v Spurs – “New tarmac pitch should silence critics” says spokesfootballer
"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not...
NHS declares tap water is much more cost effective than homeopathy
The NHS has declared that it's probably a better use of money to invest in tap water than provide homeopathy provision.
NHS spokesperson Dr Gary...
E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’
E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found.
The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...
Gerry Adams to launch cooking show called, Gerry’s Duck a l’Orange March
Gerry Adams is releasing a new cook book and getting a new cookery show on RTÉ. The show will be called, Gerry's Duck a...
Venus Williams says most recent car insurance quote inspired her Wimbledon run
Venus Williams has revealed that she was inspired to her Wimbledon final appearance by her most recent car insurance quote.
Speaking after finishing runner up,...
ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
Man reading menu is just going to have the burger
A Haywood man has spent the last 10 minutes reviewing each item on the menu at a Pub Bistro in Haywood only to decide to...
Jeremy Corbyn wins prestigious Tony Blair peace prize
Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Tony Blair peace prize and the Rochdale Herald is the only news outlet to report it.
The prize...
Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
Only 23 days to save historic Christmas Deal, warn turkeys
Turkeys have declared that today there are only 23 days to save their historic Christmas deal.
They have warned that is vitally important that the...
Wankers now the majority of the public, scientists conclude.
A newly published report shows that 55% of the British public are tossers.
Professor Onan Offtherist from the Rochdale Institute of Masturbatory Studies told us...
