Former President of Gambia applies for Argos security guard position
After decades of ruling over Gambia, dictator Yahya Jammeh has recently lost an election to Adama Barrow who, amazingly, used to be a north...
Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.
Trump state visit downgraded amid protest fears
It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit.
POTUS was invited to meet...
Jeremy Corbyn counterfeit poppy scandal
There is outrage in many political and charitable quarters today after rumours emerged that senior members of the Labour Party have been selling Remembrance Day poppies and memorabilia to supplement their parliamentary incomes.
Burnley Piss Artist awarded lucrative Arts Council Grant
George Barns (56), life-long Burnley resident, and winner of the coveted Piss Artist of The Year Trophy, has been awarded a lucrative Arts Council...
Remoaners trounce nimbys in self-interest cock off
Earlier this year the Gazillionaire Tory, Zac Goldsmith, resigned from his post as MP for Richmond Park in order to cost taxpayers a shitload...
Daily Mail readers boycott RSPB after it helps Canadian Goose
Daily Mail readers have been cancelling their subscriptions to the RSPB following reports that it helped a Canadian Goose that fell into a river.
One...
Stay safe, don’t be brown in the USA – advise Foreign Office
FOC guidelines for travellers to the USA are to be updated following recent events it was announced today.
"We do realise that culturally it's very...
Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe
There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.
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Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”
The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us".
The...
Ian Duncan Smith calls on snowflakes, losers and traitors to resolve virus problems
Ian Duncan-Smith, MP for Chingford and Minister of Nothing-in-Particular, was speaking on Radio 5 when he admitted there were problems involved with the government's...
UK threaten Russia with voting Nul Points at Eurovision
In the wake of the alleged poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter in Wiltshire last week, the UK has stepped up pressure on...
Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide
After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...
eBay To Close Sundays
The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed...
Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something
Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...
