Rats accuse Boris Johnson and David Davis of Cultural Appropriation
Yesterday following a heated meeting over Brexit David Davis and Boris Johnson resigned from their positions as Minister for Brexit and Foreign Secretary respectively.
The...
Only 23 days to save historic Christmas Deal, warn turkeys
Turkeys have declared that today there are only 23 days to save their historic Christmas deal.
They have warned that is vitally important that the...
Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions
President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Shameless firefighters put the squeeze on hard working public officials
Firefighters were forced into a defensive position today after important and hardworking public officials started to show the strain of the remorseless pressure from...
Fatboy runs away from the Ball
The worlds biggest celebrity couple, Ball and Slim, have sadly announced they are to divorce after 18 years of party-hard marriage.
Labour leader confirms that he has a plan to break the country as well...
Jeremy Corbyn has closed this year’s Labour conference with a rousing speech to his Corbynista fans explaining his plans for an entirely fictitious and...
Jeremy Corbyn under investigation after making vicar’s daughter cry during hustings
Leftist wheat-eater Jeremy Corbyn came under fire from his own back-benchers today, after being accused of making a girl cry, and not just any...
Austerity was just for giggles Government confirms
The Conservative government has confirmed today that austerity is over and it was just for giggles anyway.
The end to penny pinching has absolutely nothing...
Eating food causes cancer, says government scientist
This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered...
George Osborne seen in Waitrose buying fava beans and a nice Chianti
Following news reports of comments made by Old Screw Eyes, former chancellor of the Exchequer, serial job hoarder and moneybags George Osborne, it appears...
Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free
Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...
Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Shock as Canary dies from its own gas
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was today in a position where he wasn’t just on the right, but in the right. That’s about as galling...
Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.
The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in
A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...
