Tommy Robinson to fund scholarship for white working class kids to go to Oxford
Tommy Robinson has announced on A-level results day that he will be funding two White Working Class British students to go to the University...
Gove cast as Tick-Tock in Rupert Murdoch’s adaption of ‘Peter Pan’
An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'.
Michael Gove...
The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...
Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred.
The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...
Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night
Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...
Religious leader applauds honour killing in US
A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...
Peter Pan of Pop Peeves Proud Populace
Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath...
Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal
A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival.
Despite there being music, dancing...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Sir Philip Green in Robin Hood Shocker
Serial cash withdrawer Sir Philip Green has caused fresh controversy today with claims that revered British folk hero Robin Hood was the' worst sort...
Royal Mail pledge to maintain the usual high levels of disappointing service this Christmas
As the services for various popular companies comes into question, with Uber and Ryanair being prime examples, Royal Mail has promised not to let...
Celebrity chefs ranked most important profession in the world
In an online survey comprising over 10,000 people, Celebrity Chefs ranked number 1 in a choice of 100 of the most important and influential...
Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week
Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced.
The officers, obese men dressed in...
Idiot Dies in Karmic Avalanche
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Colle delle Oche near Turin, Italy yesterday.
Veterinarian Luciano Ponzetto, who split his...
Toys ‘R’ Us to rebrand as Sex Toys ‘R’ Us to avoid looming bankruptcy
The giant toy retailer has recently filed for bankruptcy protection in the US and Cananda after massive losses to rivals such as Amazon and...
Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP
UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...
A-Level students share their entertaining delusions about making the world a better place
As we do every year, every damn year, we headed down to Rochdale Sixth Form College. Next to Hopwood Hall College, in what our...
