‘Research confirms Coffee holds key to immortality’

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There was good news for caffeine drinkers, addicts & nervous twitchers throughout the multiverse today, as stunning new research sensationally revealed that coffee holds...

Paul Nuttall resigns as Archbishop of Canterbury

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In a shock move Thursday Paul Nuttall, Member of the European Parliament for North West England EP and leader of the United Kingdom Independence...
Big Ben Spring

London residents devasted by Uber news

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The news from TFL that taxi firm Uber will lose its licence to operate in London has devastated residents of the city's popular western...
Police Raid

Jobs with street value of £25 million found in flat of immigrant scrounger

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The recent drought of jobs for British citizens has been an ongoing concern. Tirelessly the DWP and businesses have been desperately trying to scramble...
ISIS

Daily Mail website wins ISIS award for services to Jihad

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ISIS have awarded the Daily Mail website, MailOnline.com, its prestigious Jihadi Of The Year Award. This is the first time the sought after prize, known...

4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays

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HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...

Candice wins Great British Pout Off 2016

Candice from Bedfordshire has won The Great British Pout Off after ten gruelling weeks of televised puckering.

Diane Abbott quits shadow cabinet to be the new face of Soul Glo

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Diane Abbott has shocked the nation by resigning from the shadow cabinet days before election week in order to be the new face of Soul...
Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express

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In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....

Five great fake news items of 2016

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2016 was the year of the post-truth, the fake news, and the downright lies. We at the Herald take a look back at the...
Angry Woman

Co-worker with ‘resting bitch-face’ actually really nice

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We all fear change in Rochdale especially when we meet new people and feel the tension building as we force small talk. One local...

Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon

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SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...

Only alternative to catastrophic Tory Brexit is catastrophic Labour Brexit says Corbyn

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Jeremy Corbyn has sought to reassure Labour Party members fearful of a catastrophic Tory Brexit that a Labour Brexit will be just as hard...

Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them

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Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait...
Wayne Rooney

Rooney arrested crying into bottle of 20/20 wearing Man Utd pyjamas

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My night of 20/20, Man Utd pyjamas and Steradent with mysterious brunette. Everton striker Wayne Rooney has been charged with drink-driving offences in the...
People on bus laughing

Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers

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A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.   Stating confidently that “It is,...

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