Boris Johnson says ‘Get behind May’ as it’s best angle to knife her in...
FOREIGN SECRETARY Boris Johnson has urged colleagues to "get behind" the PM because "it's difficult to stab people in the back when you are...
Theresa May fails fascist dictator litmus test after not getting trains to run on...
For the second time this week seasonally predictable temperatures have ground the railways to a virtual halt across the south and south-east of England....
Labour conference advised “Don’t mention the Brexit, I mentioned it once but I think...
The Labour Party Conference in Brighton attendees have been advised not to mention the Brexit. They mentioned it once, but they think they got...
Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position
As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit.
So we...
High Court Judge gives blow job to Brexit
Theresa May's assertion that "Brexit means Brexit" has been met with a blow with a reply of "Democracy means Democracy" by the high court...
NHS recruit Clippit the Paperclip to defend against hackers.
NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ?
"We needed someone...
Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...
Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool.
He moves...
Corbyn vows to walk to Brussels to get best Brexit deal
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has vowed that if he becomes Prime Minister he will personally walk to Brussels to demonstrate how serious he is...
Grenfell Tower survivors offer Michael Gove their last five pounds to bugger off
Survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster suffered a further shock last night when esteemed Tory minister Michael Gove was spotted in the vicinity.
It's believed...
Theresa May to meet voters to tell them to fuck off in person
The results are in and Theresa May is to remain Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, sort of, probably for a bit at least...
Your NHS is safe with me, says man who can’t ride bike
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson MBE OBE BFD has insisted that the hospitals he's taking over from the NHS are perfectly safe in his...
Brexit Halloween Threat
Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...
New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming
In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Bloke who knocked Ed Sheeran off bike given MBE for services to music industry
The man who ran over Ed Sheeran and broke his arm will receive an MBE in the new year’s honours list, it has been...
