Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove
Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.
Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who.
In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Activity holidays not holidays – survey finds
A survey carried out by the Herald shows Britons are increasingly of the opinion that lying by a pool in the warm sun and...
Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter
British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
Getting drunk and falling over is the real meaning of Christmas, says everyone
Heavy drinking from breakfast till unconsciousness has won the top spot in a national survey to discover what makes Christmas so special for the...
Big penis denies any link to Romelu Lukaku
A big penis has spoken out today to deny any attachment to Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku.
Speaking to reporters outside his home address, the...
Being a tosser won’t stop you getting rich, scientist claims
Anders Farkenobbviarrs, head of research at the Norway Institute of Selfish Prick-like Behavior in Trondheim said “Loads of rich, successful people are total fuckers,...
Dolly Parton to re-release classic ‘9 to 5’ as ‘8 to 6 on a...
Music industry representatives were bouncing off walls this morning with the news that megastar Dolly Parton is to re-release her classic smash hit ‘9...
Canoeist wins Olympic Gold for canoeing
A canoeist fulfilled a lifetime's ambition last night after winning Olympic Gold for Britain in Rio.
The Rochdale Herald would like to congratulate the canoeist...
Total hero uses hazard warning lights to tell cars behind that cars in front...
Reports are coming in that a man is being described as a total hero after he used his hazard warning lights to tell the...
Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
Norway’s female football team found in cocaine-fuelled strip club romp
Just hours after the Norwegian football association ruled that female footballer's pay must be brought in line with that of the men's, the entire...
Bank Holiday Not Fucking Long Enough Decide People
Bank Holidays are not long enough according to a multi-pound survey commissioned by The Rochdale Herald.
"It's 2016 for Christ's sake! Normal weekends should be...
Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire.
He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
Islam a lifestyle choice, says man who chose rabidly Islamophobic lifestyle
In a desperate attempt to justify religious persecution, a foaming bigot from Croydon has declared that Islam is a lifestyle choice and therefore fair...
