Mike Pence

Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence

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The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...

Katie Hopkins outraged as new IPhone X automatically set to permanently disabled and unable...

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Odious journo-babbler, Katie Hopkins was furious yesterday when she discovered that her new IPhone X was in fact less use than Boris Johnson in...

Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it

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Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips,...

OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

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A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
James blunt

James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE

5
The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their...
Theresa May

Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...

3
Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent...

British Company Based In Britain Backs Britain

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Brexiters across the land are jubilantly crying "We told you so!" after GlaxoSmithKline, a UK company, based in the UK, that wanted the UK...
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

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Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
Cathedral City

Cathedral City Cheddar not the best cheddar ‘just fucking unavoidable’ say consumers

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According to consumers in Rochdale Cathedral City Cheddar is not the best cheddar, it’s just completely unavoidable. A survey of all of the fridges in...

5G spreads bullshit 10 times faster than 4G say experts

Some of Britain's top scientists have issued a stark warning ahead of the long-awaited rollout of 5G mobile networks across the country. In an exclusive...

Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time

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There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...

Egghead CJ de Mooi chose that name! On purpose!

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CJ de Mooi shocked the nation today by revealing that CJ de Mooi isn't his real name. Believe it or not he chose that name!...
Angry Man Shouting

Britain declares national state of Armagammon

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An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today. One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Downing Street

Stubborn turd refuses to flush

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A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...
Christiano Ronaldo

Just £300,000 a month can feed a footballer for a whole week. Please give...

2
It can be harrowing, truly tragic to see, to see a young, athletic, talented man to have to survive in squalid conditions, living on...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

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Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...

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