The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts champion Eric Bristow’s dart board.

“While Bristow’s dart board contains hundreds of pricks,” noted the report  from the UK Political Research Council, “UKIP contains many thousands – and many of these are racist and xenophobic pricks, the very worst kind.”

Mr Bristow was said to be feeling relieved that “other intolerant twats had taken the limelight” and is reported to be considering an application for UKIP membership.

“Seems to be my kind of organisation.” he said, sucking on a pint of beer, “Full of real men, no pussies.”

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