Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series “Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town” after the pilot episode turned out to be crap.

On the back of the successful Housewives of Orange County and then the Housewives of Beverly Hills, the very different Housewives of New York, and the imaginatively titled Housewives of New Jersey, the land of repetitive television decided to make a new British version and, fuck knows how, ended up in Rochdale.

But filming was abandoned after day one, when it quickly became clear the women were all rough as arseholes.

The shows production company released this statement:

“It is with regret that we have had to cancel the forthcoming Housewives of Rochdale Town. This is due to circumstances beyond our control, such as our wardrobe department being unable to cope with the demand for size 18 leggings and crop tops. There also wasn’t enough usable footage remaining after the swearing had been removed.”

“We felt it best to cut our losses and invest the remainder of our budget in our next new adventure “Housewives Of Football Players”.