The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract.

Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been working together for over twenty years, are celebrating their biggest ever contract.They have been awarded £2bn of government funding, to build new social housing projects across the U.K.

The move comes after Teresa May realised that everyday people need somewhere to live.
Their work impressed the PM after it was on show for all to see during the conference this week.In an interview with the Rochdale Herald, a government spokesperson explained why they were chosen.

“It was clear to see that all aspects of the stage were strong and stable,” the spokesman told the Rochdale Herald. “Most of the standing ovations after each speech were for the fact that the stage didn’t collapse under the massive weight of bullshit that had just preceded to stand on it.

“We feel we need to build the highest quality housing for those who need it most. We’re confident that the the contractor will deliver quality as seen here at the conference.”

It is expected that 5,000 new homes will be built each year with the new funding. However this figure will be dependent on whether the new apprentice that was hired will turn up sober enough to work.

William Olfe, head architect at the company has been rumoured to favour a sticks and straw design for most of the projects. It was not confirmed whether any brick houses were being planned at this stage. It was revealed that the company has also offered to mono block all driveways in country as part of deal, and will make appointments to come back about the dodgy guttering too.

There is some opposition to this deal already. Figures reveal that half a billion of the money has been spent on an emergency call out fee after the ‘f’ fell off the wall during the PM’s speech.

No one was available at the contractors for comment. It was advised they were all on a fag break.