Daily Mail aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080

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The Daily Mail is aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080 it has announced. Building on its highly successful campaign against anti-Semitism in the Labour Party, The Daily Mail has announced a campaign to eradicate...

Massive twat claims moral high ground

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Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of "cheap, lazy journalists who ran with fake Trump sleaze to...
Outrage

All w**ds to be b*nned to avoid offending p***ks

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All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity. The reason for the multi-party agreed new ruling is simple: “At this stage pretty much anything said...

Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse

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Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will further abstract the viewer from the action under discussion, creating...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine

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Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly and Twatler, Cassius and Brutus Publications, are thrilled to announce...

OED to introduce new terms for despicable journalism

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Following some recent "newspaper" headlines, a source at the Oxford English Dictionary has revealed some new words to be introduced to accurately describe some of the "journalism" being printed in a certain UK tabloid. Lexicography...

Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”

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Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up. "I never intended it" he told the Rochdale Herald. "It was the pressure. The pressure...

Daily Mail and Newthump one and the same?

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Rumours are riff in the cut throat world of satire that just like Michael and Latoya Jackson were almost definitely the same person the popular satirical online resource the Daily Mail and Newsthump are...
Noel Edmunds

Channel 4 axes Deal Or No Deal after contestant cracks formula

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Channel 4's flagship box-based quiz show "Deal Or No Deal" is to be axed after Rochdale maths wizard Ken Ramsbottom cracked the code that's remained an enigma for the show's entire 11 year run,...

Thousands injured after Hypocrisy Bomb detonates at Daily Mail Headquarters

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Thousands of Daily Mail employees were left hideously disfigured after an extremist hypocrisy bomb detonated under their lair at Northcliffe House.
The Pope

Fake News hurts everyone insists bloke who tells people Jewish wizard’s Mum was a...

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The head of the Catholic Church has waded into the debate on fake news and he hasn't shied away from getting his hands dirty.  Pope Francis spoke to our religious affairs reporter at the Vatican; "Writing...

Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror

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The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.

Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better

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Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.

Let’s Get Ready to TUMBLE!

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Things just got real in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after those soft southern satirist impersonators at The Southend News Network went legal in the Mr Tumble plagiarism row. The letter which was...

Fake news reporting undermining professionals

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Following the news that the owner of everyone's favourite dog and Facebook creator, Mark Zuckerberg has called to investigate fake news sites and exercise stricter controls.  A leading journalist has echoed this call stating that...

Mr Tumble suspended by the BBC as he does not have a current CRB...

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An urgent investigation has been launched after the BBC was forced to suspend all shows across their network that include the massively-popular Mr Tumble - this includes Something Special, a programme with millions of...

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