Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...
The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east".
Pensioner, Stan Still said,...
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
George Osborne represents the new Standard Londoner
There was surprise throughout the media world today when it was announced that Gideon "George" Osborne, MP for Tatton, would join the London Evening...
Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction
The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction.
The...
Kelvin MacKenzie awarded Bafta for portrayal of a journalist
Kelvin MacKenzie was today awarded a BAFTA for his long running portrayal of a Journalist, Editor and TV Executive.
Mr MacKenzie began portraying the character at...
Herald Reporter in KAREN DANCZUK TOPLESS Clickbait Scandal
Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local...
Thickos more likely to believe any old bollocks scientists reveal
Scientists at Rochdale Community university have discovered that thickos will believe pretty much anything they see on Facebook
BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
Kelvin Mackenzie is a bellend says South Yorkshire Police
South Yorkshire Police have taken the bold move to publicly call the former editor of the The Sun, Kelvin Mackenzie a "complete bellend" over...
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse
The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
Gary Lineker to present MOTD in bejewelled jockstrap if BBC scrap gender pay gap
Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand.
Former...
We tried to write 5 unfunny things about the Buzzfeed job cuts – What...
The state of the world is our fault
1. People like free stuff, or more precisely, things they perceive to be free....
I love the idea of age verification to watch porn, said no teen ever
The Rochdale Herald held an exclusive poll earlier today to find out the public's reaction on whether or not they should have to got...
Newspaper sellers to take precautions.
Newsagents and shops where papers are sold all over the UK are being urged by the Health and Safety Executive to take extra precautions...
Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
Jeremy Vine in road rage incident.
Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.
He was followed and...
