Labour apologise for accidentally not running over Laura Kuenssberg
The Labour Party leadership have taken to social media today to whole heartedly apologise for accidentally running over a BBC Cameraman, Giles Woolerton, this morning.
Daily Mail aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080
The Daily Mail is aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080 it has announced.
Building on its highly successful campaign against anti-Semitism in the Labour...
Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen
In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...
Newspaper that regularly features Princess Diana’s ghost denies allegations of fake news
Staff at the Daily Express have been forced to deny that their publication is a tissue of lies and fake news even though it...
Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...
The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.
BBC resolves gender pay gap crisis
Human Resources managers at the BBC have been working tirelessly throughout the weekend, completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
The Herald Headline Review: Today’s Sunday paper headlines in one easy read
The Sun on Sunday leads with a report that Jeremy Corbyn was seen at the same hotel as someone vaguely related to someone who...
Orla Guerin to visit Rochdale
Residents of Rochdale were battening down the hatches and taking positions in bunkers as the Angel of Death Orla Guerin came to visit the...
Katie Hopkins unearths link between Lego and Autism
Katie Hopkins, lead reporter from the Daily Mail, claims she has discovered a link between children who use Lego and Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Katie gloated...
Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead
There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead.
The show depicts characters...
BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
Telegraph journalist executes her integrity with call to murder politician
Sane people all over the country were horrified, but largely unsurprised, that right-wing publication the Daily Telegraph had called for a political leader...
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse
The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
Study finds 112% of people can’t tell difference between real and fake news
A study by the prestigious department of Idiocy and General Fuckwittery at the World famous Rochdale Community University has revealed that between 111% and 112% of all people who use social media can't tell the difference between real and fake news.
Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine
Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...
