Everyone to star in latest series of Big Brother

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In a massive change of direction, our government known for privatising everything for short term gain and long term loss has bought out Dutch based media...
Noel Edmunds

Channel 4 axes Deal Or No Deal after contestant cracks formula

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Channel 4's flagship box-based quiz show "Deal Or No Deal" is to be axed after Rochdale maths wizard Ken Ramsbottom cracked the code that's...
Kuenssberg

Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter

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The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
Kelvin MacKenzie

Kelvin MacKenzie awarded Bafta for portrayal of a journalist

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Kelvin MacKenzie was today awarded a BAFTA for his long running portrayal of a Journalist, Editor and TV Executive. Mr MacKenzie began portraying the character at...

Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror

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The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.

Editor of satirical Newspaper “not convinced” readers know what satire means

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The editor of a satirical newspaper was reported to have his head in his hands after 60,000 people read an article he'd written about...
Musician

2016 maintains the Status Quo

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2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt. Having survived...
Teletubbies

Christian Groups outraged as Multi-faith revamp of Teletubbies features NO Christian Character

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Rochdale's creative industry seemingly received a huge boost last week as local TV production firm, Hot Pot Productions, was awarded a £6 million BBC...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

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Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...

Daily Mail readers die from apoplexy after Muslim Immigrant wins Gold

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Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m...
Elderly couple

Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...

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The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east". Pensioner, Stan Still said,...
The Daily Mail

Terror as scientists find link between Daily Mail and racist pensioners

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Following an uncomfortable family dinner with her parents, local woman Karen Smith, 28, reported to friends yesterday that she fears mirroring their gradual decline...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...

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Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith. The toe faced smarm slinger...

Assange ready to be extradited from his own arse

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Julian Assange has confirmed that he is willing to be extradited from his own arse following Barack Obama’s decision to commute the sentence of US Army...
Kuenssberg

Laura Kuenssberg to train North Korean propaganda journalists

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Gajja Ileum, a journalist for the Korean Worker's Party, has travelled from Pyongyang to London for a 2 week intensive training course in State Propaganda with...

Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...

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A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...

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