Google under pressure as journalists try to figure out what Grime is

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Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it. "We at the Times...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

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In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...

Reality blamed for increase of violence on television

2
Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV. Many of...

Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...

0
A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other...
ISIS

Daily Mail website wins ISIS award for services to Jihad

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ISIS have awarded the Daily Mail website, MailOnline.com, its prestigious Jihadi Of The Year Award. This is the first time the sought after prize, known...

Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse

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Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will...
Daily Mail Readers

Daily Mail outrage as child placed with Muslim foster parents not with Christian child...

50
The Daily Mail and its readers have reacted with fury after a child was placed with a Muslim foster family due to a lack...

Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left

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The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again; "The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said...
The Sun

The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book

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The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.  As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease...
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

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The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...
Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

21
A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...

BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis

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Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng tea...

Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’

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The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...

Katie Hopkins unearths link between Lego and Autism

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Katie Hopkins, lead reporter from the Daily Mail, claims she has discovered a link between children who use Lego and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Katie gloated...
Kuenssberg

Labour apologise for accidentally not running over Laura Kuenssberg

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The Labour Party leadership have taken to social media today to whole heartedly apologise for accidentally running over a BBC Cameraman, Giles Woolerton, this morning.

1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked

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Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached. Yahoo, which was once a...

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