Angry man

People who say Nazis were socialists to lose human status

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The UN has today confirmed that anyone who says Nazis were socialist are to lose human status, joining holocaust deniers in the shortlist of...

Goebbels didn’t like satire either – satirists tell Zuckerberg

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As the entire world struggles to unravel themselves from their twisted knickers following the surprise election of a sexist satsuma to the Whitehouse satirists have come under fire from Google and Facebook for writing fake news, otherwise known as fiction.

Google under pressure as journalists try to figure out what Grime is

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Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it. "We at the Times...

The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet

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For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.  Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming

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In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...

OED to introduce new terms for despicable journalism

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Following some recent "newspaper" headlines, a source at the Oxford English Dictionary has revealed some new words to be introduced to accurately describe some...

Five great fake news items of 2016

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2016 was the year of the post-truth, the fake news, and the downright lies. We at the Herald take a look back at the...
Corbyn

Corbyn’s meeting with Czech spy definitely ended The Cold War claims The Canary

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The Canary has made the suprising claim that Jeremy Corbyn's meeting with a Czech spy hastened the end of the cold war. The claim...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine

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Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...

Thousands injured after Hypocrisy Bomb detonates at Daily Mail Headquarters

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Thousands of Daily Mail employees were left hideously disfigured after an extremist hypocrisy bomb detonated under their lair at Northcliffe House.

Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction

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The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The...

The Herald Headline Review: Today’s Sunday paper headlines in one easy read

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The Sun on Sunday leads with a report that Jeremy Corbyn was seen at the same hotel as someone vaguely related to someone who...

BBC Believes Last Labour Voter Now Extinct

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Naturalists have accused the BBC of poor science after it was revealed the broadcasting corporation believes there are no more Labour voters. The shock extinction...

Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

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Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...

Daily Mail readers die from apoplexy after Muslim Immigrant wins Gold

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Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m...
Donald Trump & Jermey Kyle

Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

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Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump. The show which is titled "Five children by...

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