The chief photo editor for The Daily Mail has been awarded the Iron Cross this afternoon.

A spokesman for The Daily Mail said, “This award is great news. Cropping those black kids out of that photo was just the sort of thing that really captures the ethos of The Daily Mail and many of its readers. Believe me, I see the moderated comments on our website. If 1st Viscount Rothermere can see us I bet he’s smiling to himself. I bet it’s what Churchill would have wanted.”

Colleague Bill Board told us, “This is a prestigious day for us as a publication. You can forget Pulitzer prizes and Nobel Prizes. This is the award that counts.”

Photo Editor Stan Still told us, “To be honest it’s all a bit of a coincidence really. To have all those kids in there would have made it a bit crowded. Plus, those kids are the same colour as the font and we were worried that the readership wouldn’t have been able to read the text. In all honesty it’s somethingwe had reserved for Meghan Markle,  the narcissistic bitch.”

It’s alleged that the Mail will carry a 4 page editorial on the award tomorrow before blaming Covid-19 on the disabled and advocating euthanising them.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.