Assange ready to be extradited from his own arse
Julian Assange has confirmed that he is willing to be extradited from his own arse following Barack Obama’s decision to commute the sentence of US Army...
Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine
Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...
Chilcot Report reveals Ross and Rachel WERE on a break
With the kind of speed, thoroughness and ability to keep his finger on Britain’s zeitgeist that has come to be expected from him, the...
BBC to put Sir David Attenborough in a ‘stasis chamber’
The specialist chamber housing Sir David Attenborough was created by NASA for long haul space travel and would have allowed Astronauts to be put...
Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending
The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...
Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth
In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth.
Employees...
Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...
The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east".
Pensioner, Stan Still said,...
Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen
In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...
Jeremy Vine in road rage incident.
Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.
He was followed and...
BBC releases SHOCKING photo of Sun journalist doing JOURNALISM
The BBC have released what are being termed as, "shocking" photographs of Sun newspaper journalists committing acts of journalism and accurate reporting.
Stan Still said,...
2016 maintains the Status Quo
2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt.
Having survived...
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror
The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.
I love the idea of age verification to watch porn, said no teen ever
The Rochdale Herald held an exclusive poll earlier today to find out the public's reaction on whether or not they should have to got...
Daily Mail website wins ISIS award for services to Jihad
ISIS have awarded the Daily Mail website, MailOnline.com, its prestigious Jihadi Of The Year Award.
This is the first time the sought after prize, known...
Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
