The Sun

The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book

The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book. As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease printing stories and instead focus on producing “exciting and thought-provoking...

Daily Mail redefines fascism as anyone who upsets them

Fascism is bad. Really bad. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly bad it is. I mean you may think it's unpleasant when someone calls you stupid, but that's just peanuts to fascism. Listen.To...

Nobody Offended By Twitter Joke

A joke posted on Twitter yesterday has met with a complete lack of offence for the first time in history.The joke which reads “Most of my ideas are conceived while on Facebook- like most...
The Daily Mail

Terror as scientists find link between Daily Mail and racist pensioners

Following an uncomfortable family dinner with her parents, local woman Karen Smith, 28, reported to friends yesterday that she fears mirroring their gradual decline into casual racism. "I first noticed the symptoms in my dad...
Santa and reindeer

Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.

Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the stories that are utterly false.Whew! There's quite a bit!Firstly we...
Trump Tick

Twitter removes blue tick from Donald Trump’s account

In the latest shake-up to twitter's format, the website have taken to removing the ticks from people for various reasons. Hatemongers have been particularly under fire, including Tommy Robinson of the EDL, and now...

‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls

Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone calls in contravention of the Communications Act 2003.  Mr McNood,...

Russian Government Denies Hacking Rochdale Herald

The Russian Government has reacted angrily towards allegations that it was responsible for hacking UK news site The Rochdale Herald. The Herald, which is regularly voted ‘Rochdale’s Most Popular News Site With Herald In...

Daily Mail Exposed as a False Newspaper

Jonathan Harmswoth, 4th Viscount of Rothermere, controlling shareholder and current chairman of the Daily Mail has finally come clean and admitted that the newspaper is simply an elaborate hoax that went too far.It has...

BBC resolves gender pay gap crisis

Human Resources managers at the BBC have been working tirelessly throughout the weekend, completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng tea breaks, trying to eliminate the gender pay gap at...

Taking are speling back!

The new Apple iOS 9.3.6 update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict.Computer giants and tax dodging bastards Apple have confirmed that the next update for...

Stop being puffs about the word gay Clarkson tells queers

In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this week on their new show The Grand Tour.The minature dead...
Broadcast

BBC Radio 2 breakfast show ratings soar, as listeners want their bloody money’s worth

As the dust starts to settle on Terry Wogan's grave after being disturbed so much by him spinning in it, the Rochdale Herald can reveal that BBC Radio 2 breakfast show ratings are now...

Fake news reporting undermining professionals

Following the news that the owner of everyone's favourite dog and Facebook creator, Mark Zuckerberg has called to investigate fake news sites and exercise stricter controls. A leading journalist has echoed this call stating that...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in an article about her immigration status."Listen, despite us providing an...

Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover

The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world record breaking Team Pursuit team on the cover of the...

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