‘No such thing as a moderate Muslim’ says right-wing extremist nut-job

1
John Rant, an out of work shopping trolley attendant and EDL member from Rochdale, has once again taken to social media to claim there...

The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet

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For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.  Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...
Elderly Couple

New survey shows 52% of Daily Mail readers have masturbated to The World At...

0
Researchers at the University of Rochdale reveal the enduring popularity of the 1970s documentary for gammon spank fodder. The 1970s documentary, The World At War,...
Sun Journalist

BBC releases SHOCKING photo of Sun journalist doing JOURNALISM

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The BBC have released what are being termed as, "shocking" photographs of Sun newspaper journalists committing acts of journalism and accurate reporting. Stan Still said,...

Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth

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In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth. Employees...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

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In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...
Kuenssberg

Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter

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The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
Teenage Boys

I love the idea of age verification to watch porn, said no teen ever

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The Rochdale Herald held an exclusive poll earlier today to find out the public's reaction on whether or not they should have to got...

Nobody knows what that Facebook fisher is going on about

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It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.
Corbyn

Corbyn’s meeting with Czech spy definitely ended The Cold War claims The Canary

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The Canary has made the suprising claim that Jeremy Corbyn's meeting with a Czech spy hastened the end of the cold war. The claim...

Newspaper that regularly features Princess Diana’s ghost denies allegations of fake news

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Staff at the Daily Express have been forced to deny that their publication is a tissue of lies and fake news even though it...

Rochdale Herald editor drowns in tragic Daily Mail tractor accident

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In an incident uncannily similar to the fate of controversial media proprietor, Robert Maxwell, who apparently drowned after falling from his private yacht, an...
The Canary Website

Shock as Canary dies from its own gas

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was today in a position where he wasn’t just on the right, but in the right. That’s about as galling...
Peppa Pig

Peppa Pig to become Cara Camel in Halal makeover

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Exciting new changes are afoot in the world of Cartoons today, with a children's favourite set for a spectacular modern makeover. Creators of the famous...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

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Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...

Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror

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The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.

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