Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...
Rochdale paramedics

Daily Mail Editor sectioned after being confused by photograph of white terrorist

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was carried out of Northcliffe House in a straitjacket this morning after a photograph of a white man...

Universal Tax Credit not as funny as reductive jokes about benefit cuts complain satirists

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The National Union of Terrible Satirists, or NUTS, released a statement today complaining that it's almost impossible to make jokes about Universal Tax Credit because it's too bloody complicated.

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

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Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...

Assange ready to be extradited from his own arse

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Julian Assange has confirmed that he is willing to be extradited from his own arse following Barack Obama’s decision to commute the sentence of US Army...

Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...

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A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...

UK in shock after Corbyn refuses to answer trick question

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Big news! Corbyn, asked if the UK will leave the EU "come hell or high water" if he becomes PM, refused 6 times to...

Daily Mail Editor defends decision to describe a psychopath as an alopecia suffer, not...

3
Less than a week has gone by since a Daily Mail editor allegedly tried to defend his decision to relegate the Olympic Gold Medallist,...
Donald Trump & Jermey Kyle

Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

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Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump. The show which is titled "Five children by...

Katie Hopkins unearths link between Lego and Autism

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Katie Hopkins, lead reporter from the Daily Mail, claims she has discovered a link between children who use Lego and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Katie gloated...

Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”

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A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...

Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction

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The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The...
Sun Journalist

BBC releases SHOCKING photo of Sun journalist doing JOURNALISM

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The BBC have released what are being termed as, "shocking" photographs of Sun newspaper journalists committing acts of journalism and accurate reporting. Stan Still said,...

Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year for stopping Coldplay touring

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Greta Thunberg has won Time magazine's Person of the Year for her work in stopping Coldplay from touring. Thunberg said, "All of my life there...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

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Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
ISIS

Daily Mail website wins ISIS award for services to Jihad

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ISIS have awarded the Daily Mail website, MailOnline.com, its prestigious Jihadi Of The Year Award. This is the first time the sought after prize, known...

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