Media

All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity. The reason for the multi-party agreed new ruling is simple: “At this stage pretty much anything said...

2016 was the year of the post-truth, the fake news, and the downright lies. We at the Herald take a look back at the five biggest myths, hoaxes and untruths which had people perplexed,...

The ghost of Diana, Thingy of Wales, has been giving Daily Express readers advice on how to survive the cold weather. Speaking through a medium, Diana said, "You should only travel if you absolutely have...

The suspicious package at Daily Mail HQ is a charity collection box for Syrian refugees.  No-one is quite sure how it got there but it’s been confirmed by security services to contain nothing but 16p and a sweet...

Dog lovers and animal rights activists around the country are said to be outraged and disgusted after the editor of The Daily Mail reportedly bit the head off a Labrador puppy during an editorial...

Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical hack-in-chief of Rochdale’s only quality satirical organ had very recently...

Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition between the length of Helen Skelton's skirt and the Egyptian...

Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m at the World Athletics Championships last night. Ambulances services, already stretched...

A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily Mail and told the Herald, "In our world there is...

The Canary has made the suprising claim that Jeremy Corbyn's meeting with a Czech spy hastened the end of the cold war. The claim was made in an editorial piece this morning. The editorial said,...

The Daily Mail Editor has collected another prestigious award, in a glittering events ceremony in the Dubai International Finance Centre (“DIFC”). Editor Paul Dacre was there in person to collect the award for “Inciteful...

As the dust starts to settle on Terry Wogan's grave after being disturbed so much by him spinning in it, the Rochdale Herald can reveal that BBC Radio 2 breakfast show ratings are now...

The technical gods at The Rochdale Herald have built a very special daily newsletter that goes out every day at 5pm by email. If you want to see the Rochdale Herald's short stories, satirical news...

In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of the crucifixion. This will not be a new policy, it says,...

The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the annual show, Brooker was famous for dissecting the previous year...

John Rant, an out of work shopping trolley attendant and EDL member from Rochdale, has once again taken to social media to claim there is no such thing as a moderate Muslim. Despite the fact...