Let’s Get Ready to TUMBLE!

Things just got real in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after those soft southern satirist impersonators at The Southend News Network went legal in the Mr Tumble plagiarism row. The letter which was...

The Herald Headline Review: Today’s Sunday paper headlines in one easy read

The Sun on Sunday leads with a report that Jeremy Corbyn was seen at the same hotel as someone vaguely related to someone who once walked past the aunt of a woman who once...
Jeremy Corbyn

A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC 

To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour Leadership challenge. "There's no reason to think that the previous partner...

Daily Mail aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080

The Daily Mail is aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080 it has announced. Building on its highly successful campaign against anti-Semitism in the Labour Party, The Daily Mail has announced a campaign to eradicate...
Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily Mail and told the Herald, "In our world there is...

Nobody knows what that Facebook fisher is going on about

It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.

Daily Mail editor accused of Crocodile Tears following Polish migrant murder

The editor of poisonous bog roll manufacturer, The Daily Mail, was accused of shedding crocodile tears by The Rochdale Herald after a Polish man was beaten to death in a racist attack in Harlow...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters trying to stay alive following a zombie apocalypse....
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being a racist bigot. Hilary Patel-Cohen, a BBC spokesgender said, "There's a...

All w**ds to be b*nned to avoid offending p***ks

All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity. The reason for the multi-party agreed new ruling is simple: “At this stage pretty much anything said...

Thickos more likely to believe any old bollocks scientists reveal

Scientists at Rochdale Community university have discovered that thickos will believe pretty much anything they see on Facebook

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the annual show, Brooker was famous for dissecting the previous year...

Rochdale Herald editor drowns in tragic Daily Mail tractor accident

In an incident uncannily similar to the fate of controversial media proprietor, Robert Maxwell, who apparently drowned after falling from his private yacht, an editor of The Rochdale Herald was found dead in a...

Daily Mail Editor defends decision to describe a psychopath as an alopecia suffer, not...

Less than a week has gone by since a Daily Mail editor allegedly tried to defend his decision to relegate the Olympic Gold Medallist, who happens to have alopecia, to the back cover of...
Ross and Rachel

Chilcot Report reveals Ross and Rachel WERE on a break

With the kind of speed, thoroughness and ability to keep his finger on Britain’s zeitgeist that has come to be expected from him, the Chilcott report into Ross and Rachel’s ‘Break’ has finally been...

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