I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse

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The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
Kuenssberg

Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter

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The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...

Microsoft worker takes Apple to court

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Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...

Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”

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Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up. "I never intended it" he...

Google under pressure as journalists try to figure out what Grime is

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Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it. "We at the Times...

Study finds 112% of people can’t tell difference between real and fake news

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A study by the prestigious department of Idiocy and General Fuckwittery at the World famous Rochdale Community University has revealed that between 111% and 112% of all people who use social media can't tell the difference between real and fake news.
Brown Paper Bag

Sun to be sold in paper bag

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The Sun newspaper is to be sold with a free brown paper bag from next week, it was revealed on that Twitter thingy today. “From...

Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year for stopping Coldplay touring

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Greta Thunberg has won Time magazine's Person of the Year for her work in stopping Coldplay from touring. Thunberg said, "All of my life there...
Jeremy Corbyn

A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC 

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To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...

‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls

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Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

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In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

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In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...

Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...

David Attenborough found alive and well

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Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2017's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well. The news comes as welcome relief...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine

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Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...

Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”

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A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...

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