Sun to be sold in paper bag
The Sun newspaper is to be sold with a free brown paper bag from next week, it was revealed on that Twitter thingy today.
“From...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
Suspicious package at Daily Mail confirmed as charity collection box
The suspicious package at Daily Mail HQ is a charity collection box for Syrian refugees.
No-one is quite sure how it got there but it’s been confirmed...
George Osborne represents the new Standard Londoner
There was surprise throughout the media world today when it was announced that Gideon "George" Osborne, MP for Tatton, would join the London Evening...
Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...
A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks".
Piers and many other...
Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”
Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up.
"I never intended it" he...
New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming
In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...
Russian Government Denies Hacking Rochdale Herald
The Russian Government has reacted angrily towards allegations that it was responsible for hacking UK news site The Rochdale Herald. The Herald, which is...
2016 maintains the Status Quo
2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt.
Having survived...
Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass
Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and...
Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”
A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...
Satirists face existential crisis
Satirists around the world face extinction due to rising stupidity levels and utter fucking idiocy.
"How am I supposed to write satire about this, there's...
Scientists prove dementia risk reduced by not reading The Sun
Scientists at the Rochdale Institute for Cerebral Health have released the results of a long running study into dementia and how not reading The...
Comic Relief to be just Michael McIntyre and a bunch of Russells in future
The BBC announced today that all future Comic Relief events will simply be Michael McIntyre and people called Russell running around and doing observational...
Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII
Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...
Five great fake news items of 2016
2016 was the year of the post-truth, the fake news, and the downright lies. We at the Herald take a look back at the...
