Rochdale paramedics

Daily Mail Editor sectioned after being confused by photograph of white terrorist

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was carried out of Northcliffe House in a straitjacket this morning after a photograph of a white man...

More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur

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Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...
Daily Mail Stock Photo

Daily Mail wins award for inciteful journalism

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The Daily Mail Editor has collected another prestigious award, in a glittering events ceremony in the Dubai International Finance Centre (“DIFC”). Editor Paul Dacre...

Rochdale Herald editor drowns in tragic Daily Mail tractor accident

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In an incident uncannily similar to the fate of controversial media proprietor, Robert Maxwell, who apparently drowned after falling from his private yacht, an...

Daily Mail readers die from apoplexy after Muslim Immigrant wins Gold

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Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m...

Universal Tax Credit not as funny as reductive jokes about benefit cuts complain satirists

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The National Union of Terrible Satirists, or NUTS, released a statement today complaining that it's almost impossible to make jokes about Universal Tax Credit because it's too bloody complicated.
John Lewis Weasel

Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial

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The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist. "It's an...

Satirists run out of ink

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Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...

Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror

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The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.

Daily Mail editor spontaneously combusts in Syrian child refugee logic feedback loop tragedy

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After recent conflicts of conscience for the Mail, yesterday's news headlines about a little boy from Aleppo in Syria has caused it to disappear...

Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist

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There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...
Elderly couple

Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...

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The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east". Pensioner, Stan Still said,...

Legendary comic Tony Blair wins prestigious award

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Tony Blair, one half of iconic comedy duo The World Leaders, has been honoured with the prestigious Lincoln Leadership in Comedy Prize with particular...
Kuenssberg

Labour apologise for accidentally not running over Laura Kuenssberg

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The Labour Party leadership have taken to social media today to whole heartedly apologise for accidentally running over a BBC Cameraman, Giles Woolerton, this morning.

Nobody knows what that Facebook fisher is going on about

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It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.
Cat's Eyes

The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll

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Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from...

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