The Pope

Fake News hurts everyone insists bloke who tells people Jewish wizard’s Mum was a...

The head of the Catholic Church has waded into the debate on fake news and he hasn't shied away from getting his hands dirty.  Pope Francis spoke to our religious affairs reporter at the Vatican; "Writing...

Orla Guerin to visit Rochdale

Residents of Rochdale were battening down the hatches and taking positions in bunkers as the Angel of Death Orla Guerin came to visit the town. The award winning BBC journalist is normally only to be...

Daily Mail editor bites head off puppy for a dare

Dog lovers and animal rights activists around the country are said to be outraged and disgusted after the editor of The Daily Mail reportedly bit the head off a Labrador puppy during an editorial...

Muslims damage white man’s van outside mosque, screams Daily Mail

Allegedly Paul Dacre rang round every Daily Mail journalist to ensure The Daily Mail created the appropriate coverage of the terrorist incident in Finsbury. Simply saying that some idiot had driven into a crowd of...

Jeremy Vine in road rage incident.

Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.  He was followed and accosted by the driver of a car who believed he...
Daily Mail

Daily Mail asking readers to buy two copies each

Pressure appears to be mounting in the offices of the Daily Mail, as their latest idea in an attempt to boost sales is to ask readers to buy two copies each. The paper, famous for...

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by drone" said the article. "Probably." The news comes after the leader...
Sandi Toksvig

Pound for Pound Sandi Toksvig is paid same as Stephen Fry for hosting QI...

Following the publication of the salaries paid to its top stars the BBC has rushed to deny reports that QI presenter Sandi Toksvig was being paid substantially less than her equally erudite predecessor Stephen...

Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”

A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far loosely famous people can debase themselves for money.  The competition tests...

Daily Mail editor accused of Crocodile Tears following Polish migrant murder

The editor of poisonous bog roll manufacturer, The Daily Mail, was accused of shedding crocodile tears by The Rochdale Herald after a Polish man was beaten to death in a racist attack in Harlow...

Further scandal as so called satirical page Southend News Network owners aren’t even Southern!

In what is turning out to be a much dragged out saga of scandal after scandal from those jumped up meme thieves over at SNN comes further revelations as our offices at The Rochdale...
Corbyn

Corbyn’s meeting with Czech spy definitely ended The Cold War claims The Canary

The Canary has made the suprising claim that Jeremy Corbyn's meeting with a Czech spy hastened the end of the cold war. The claim was made in an editorial piece this morning. The editorial said,...

Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation

News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee. It is thought he was chosen for the role because of his in depth...
Elderly couple

Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...

The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east". Pensioner, Stan Still said, "It's come as a bit of a shock. I've had...

Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...

The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.
Angry People

Rochdale Herald distances itself from Rochdale Herald Online question whether Daily Mail Editor Paul...

We are aware this may make us appear terribly foolish. The Rochdale Herald Editor, the late Quentin D Fortesqueue, is seething about the lack of comprehension amongst the respective readerships of the difference between the...

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