Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”
A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...
New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming
In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...
Pound for Pound Sandi Toksvig is paid same as Stephen Fry for hosting QI...
Following the publication of the salaries paid to its top stars the BBC has rushed to deny reports that QI presenter Sandi Toksvig was...
A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC
To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...
Don’t buy the Daily Mail on 31 August
It's the 20th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana. Remember her, if you will. Pray for her and her family, if that's your...
Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left
The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again;
"The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said...
New York Times Reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities
The New York Times, long considered to be the lap-dog mouthpiece of the Commie-loving East-coast foreigner, has finally (and thankfully) been reported to the...
Orla Guerin to visit Rochdale
Residents of Rochdale were battening down the hatches and taking positions in bunkers as the Angel of Death Orla Guerin came to visit the...
Shock as Canary dies from its own gas
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was today in a position where he wasn’t just on the right, but in the right. That’s about as galling...
Daily Mail aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080
The Daily Mail is aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080 it has announced.
Building on its highly successful campaign against anti-Semitism in the Labour...
Daily Mail Readers confused more toddlers haven’t walked alone to UK from Syria
Daily Mail Readers are confused more toddlers haven't walked the 2,000 miles to Calais from Syria.
Princess Diana’s ghost gives Express readers advice on how to deal with slippery driving...
The ghost of Diana, Thingy of Wales, has been giving Daily Express readers advice on how to survive the cold weather.
Speaking through a medium,...
Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital
Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek.
The jaded and cynical...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
Twitter removes blue tick from Donald Trump’s account
In the latest shake-up to twitter's format, the website have taken to removing the ticks from people for various reasons. Hatemongers have been particularly...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
