For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.
Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity activist and wrapped it up with an attention-grabbing headline using the words ‘devastating’ and ‘fearless’, the editor-in-chief of The Canary was denied complete vindication by the collapse of the Conservative administration.
The tweet in question was a sarcastic assertion regarding a marginal conspiracy theory about “these greedy Tory pigs” by reality TV star Billy Hertfordshire, best known for his appearances in ‘The Only Way is Probably Via St Albans’.
Mendoza, “a former management consultant in banking, local government and the NHS”, who now self-identifies as “a writer, journalist and social commentator” transformed the tweet into one of The Canary’s traditional clickbait articles, in which it was alleged that Theresa May’s government would come crashing down in ruins once it had been read by the sort of people who believe what they read in The Canary.
Dr Steve Rangelove, from the elite Rochdale Community University’s Department of Media Musings, described the bizzare world of The Canary and its Breitbart-a-like aspirations.
“The whole premise is based on the idea that you fight fire with fire,” explained Steve. “Publishing left wing propaganda and conspiracy ravings as fact, to ‘counterbalance’ the excesses of the right.”
Does this work? we asked.
“No, of course it doesn’t,” he replied. “Any moron knows that fighting fire with fire just makes a bigger bloody fire that’s probably going out of control.”
“Even as a metaphor it totally fails. And so does Kerry, because, to be honest, she’s just standing on the sidelines hurling abuse like one of those mental paedo-hunting Mums in a Portsmouth council estate mob.”
“You really have to have some billionaire tax evader’s backing to get away with that shit properly in the UK.”