A man with an unusually massive head denies he’s up his own arse after appearing on channel 4s Grand Designs. The house featured the widest doorway ever seen on a modern structure.

Modest businessman Colin Broadswede took on the mammoth building project single-handedly. He taught himself all the technical skills required in order to make his vast vision a reality. Including, architectural map reading, elevator mechanics, green carpentry and stone masonry.

Presenter Kevin McCloud said he had to focus on Mr Broadswede’s nipple area in order to remain composed throughout the programme that aired last night.

Remarkably the building’s roof is made entirely of 150 million year old dinosaur bones. Mr Broadswede spent decades fossil hunting along the Welsh coastline in a painstaking effort to locate the materials required to construct his dream home.

This stunning property on the outskirts of Rochdale also boasts an impressive swimming pool filled with chemically enhanced water that smells of whiskey and a hint of stale urine.

Neighbours say they have seen Mr Broadswede pulling up to his ridiculous grand design house in a converted GMT bus. It’s said to be the only vehicle large enough to accommodate his enormous melon-head.