Satirists face existential crisis

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Satirists around the world face extinction due to rising stupidity levels and utter fucking idiocy. "How am I supposed to write satire about this, there's...

Daily Mail editor bites head off puppy for a dare

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Dog lovers and animal rights activists around the country are said to be outraged and disgusted after the editor of The Daily Mail reportedly...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming

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In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...

Billy Bush reinstated after “Today” apologises to him

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Billy Bush is to return to the Today programme after receiving a grovelling apology from the network owners.  They have also sacked the producers and...

Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror

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The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

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Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
Sandi Toksvig

Pound for Pound Sandi Toksvig is paid same as Stephen Fry for hosting QI...

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Following the publication of the salaries paid to its top stars the BBC has rushed to deny reports that QI presenter Sandi Toksvig was...
Kelvin MacKenzie

Kelvin MacKenzie awarded Bafta for portrayal of a journalist

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Kelvin MacKenzie was today awarded a BAFTA for his long running portrayal of a Journalist, Editor and TV Executive. Mr MacKenzie began portraying the character at...

George Osborne represents the new Standard Londoner

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There was surprise throughout the media world today when it was announced that Gideon "George" Osborne, MP for Tatton, would join the London Evening...
Angry man

People who say Nazis were socialists to lose human status

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The UN has today confirmed that anyone who says Nazis were socialist are to lose human status, joining holocaust deniers in the shortlist of...

Study finds 112% of people can’t tell difference between real and fake news

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A study by the prestigious department of Idiocy and General Fuckwittery at the World famous Rochdale Community University has revealed that between 111% and 112% of all people who use social media can't tell the difference between real and fake news.

Microsoft worker takes Apple to court

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Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
Attenborough

BBC to put Sir David Attenborough in a ‘stasis chamber’

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The specialist chamber housing Sir David Attenborough was created by NASA for long haul space travel and would have allowed Astronauts to be put...
Musician

2016 maintains the Status Quo

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2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt. Having survived...

Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”

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Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools. Professor Andrei Clewsov of...
Daily Mail Readers

Daily Mail outrage as child placed with Muslim foster parents not with Christian child...

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The Daily Mail and its readers have reacted with fury after a child was placed with a Muslim foster family due to a lack...

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