2016 maintains the Status Quo
2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt.
Having survived...
Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”
Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up.
"I never intended it" he...
Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth
In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth.
Employees...
Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe
There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.
Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII
Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...
Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...
A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...
Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass
Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and...
All w**ds to be b*nned to avoid offending p***ks
All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity.
The reason for the multi-party agreed...
I love the idea of age verification to watch porn, said no teen ever
The Rochdale Herald held an exclusive poll earlier today to find out the public's reaction on whether or not they should have to got...
Shock as Canary dies from its own gas
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was today in a position where he wasn’t just on the right, but in the right. That’s about as galling...
‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls
Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone...
iPhone users left feeling cheated
Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology...
Daily Mail reveal United Airlines assault victim once had an overdue library book
It has been revealed today that Dr David Dao, the passenger on a United Airlines flight who was beaten for sitting in a seat...
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse
The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
Telegraph journalist executes her integrity with call to murder politician
Sane people all over the country were horrified, but largely unsurprised, that right-wing publication the Daily Telegraph had called for a political leader...
Google under pressure as journalists try to figure out what Grime is
Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it.
"We at the Times...
