Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
‘Child on hospital floor’ journalist joins the Rochdale Herald’s staff
The Rochdale Herald is proud to announce the appointment of surely-ex-by-now Telegraph columnist Allison Pearson to our staff.
"Our quest for people who can spout...
BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
Kelvin Mackenzie is a bellend says South Yorkshire Police
South Yorkshire Police have taken the bold move to publicly call the former editor of the The Sun, Kelvin Mackenzie a "complete bellend" over...
Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller
Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War.
The...
Heroic ‘fragile snowflake’ Piers Morgan attempts to man up by sitting on a sofa
Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about...
Satirists run out of ink
Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...
Herald Reporter in KAREN DANCZUK TOPLESS Clickbait Scandal
Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local...
Britain celebrates start of 40 days of losing its mind about Easter eggs
Britain has been celebrating the start of its traditional Lent activity of being outraged about Easter Eggs not saying Easter on them.
Father Frederick Seddon...
Telegraph journalist executes her integrity with call to murder politician
Sane people all over the country were horrified, but largely unsurprised, that right-wing publication the Daily Telegraph had called for a political leader...
Daily Mail reveal United Airlines assault victim once had an overdue library book
It has been revealed today that Dr David Dao, the passenger on a United Airlines flight who was beaten for sitting in a seat...
Rochdale Herald issues cease and desist warning against The Southend News Network
The editorial department at The Rochdale Herald was in uproar this afternoon after one of the biggest names in satirical local news blatantly ripped...
Reality blamed for increase of violence on television
Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV.
Many of...
The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book
The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.
As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease...
Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...
A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC
To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...
