The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist.

“It’s an outrage!’ said Paul Slaithwaite (53) ‘Badgers, foxes, squirrels, hedgehogs, they all get shown having a good old bounce on the trampoline. But as usual, weasels are excluded!”

Mr Slaithwaite, a weasel wrangler at the South Yorkshire Weasel Sanctuary continued “It’s clearly weaselist propaganda of a type suffered by mustelids since ‘Wind In The Willows’ and Alison Uttley’s racist tale ‘Little Grey Rabbit And The Weasels’. It’s not like weasels aren’t the best bouncers in the animal kingdom anyway.”

However Mr Slaithwaite conceded that it was likely that a weasel might have ended up messily devouring the squirrel during filming.