Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

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Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller

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Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War. The...
Musician

2016 maintains the Status Quo

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2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt. Having survived...

Daily Mail Readers confused more toddlers haven’t walked alone to UK from Syria

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Daily Mail Readers are confused more toddlers haven't walked the 2,000 miles to Calais from Syria.
Teenage Boys

I love the idea of age verification to watch porn, said no teen ever

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The Rochdale Herald held an exclusive poll earlier today to find out the public's reaction on whether or not they should have to got...

Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse

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Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will...
Corbyn

Corbyn’s meeting with Czech spy definitely ended The Cold War claims The Canary

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The Canary has made the suprising claim that Jeremy Corbyn's meeting with a Czech spy hastened the end of the cold war. The claim...

Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...
Michael McIntyre

Comic Relief to be just Michael McIntyre and a bunch of Russells in future

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The BBC announced today that all future Comic Relief events will simply be Michael McIntyre and people called Russell running around and doing observational...
Kelvin Mackenzie South Yorkshire Police

Kelvin Mackenzie is a bellend says South Yorkshire Police

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South Yorkshire Police have taken the bold move to publicly call the former editor of the The Sun, Kelvin Mackenzie a "complete bellend" over...
Noel Edmunds

Channel 4 axes Deal Or No Deal after contestant cracks formula

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Channel 4's flagship box-based quiz show "Deal Or No Deal" is to be axed after Rochdale maths wizard Ken Ramsbottom cracked the code that's...
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

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The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...

Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.

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A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...
Elderly couple

Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...

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The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east". Pensioner, Stan Still said,...

Daily Mail and Newthump one and the same?

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Rumours are riff in the cut throat world of satire that just like Michael and Latoya Jackson were almost definitely the same person the...

Princess Diana’s ghost gives Express readers advice on how to deal with slippery driving...

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The ghost of Diana, Thingy of Wales, has been giving Daily Express readers advice on how to survive the cold weather. Speaking through a medium,...

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