Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...

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A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other...
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

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The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...
Protests

The Canary calls for Tory MP to resign after failing to wash hands after...

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Today The Canary has posted their 1,000th 'breaking news' article, in which 'the Tories are done' and that 'Theresa May must resign.' The far left...

The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet

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For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.  Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...

Everyone to star in latest series of Big Brother

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In a massive change of direction, our government known for privatising everything for short term gain and long term loss has bought out Dutch based media...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

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The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the...

Mr Tumble suspended by the BBC as he does not have a current CRB...

4
An urgent investigation has been launched after the BBC was forced to suspend all shows across their network that include the massively-popular Mr Tumble...
Daily Mail

Daily Mail asking readers to buy two copies each

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Pressure appears to be mounting in the offices of the Daily Mail, as their latest idea in an attempt to boost sales is to...

Sun reporter accused of posing as human being to secure Grenfell Tower interview

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A complaint is to be lodged after a Sun reporter allegedly attempted to secure an interview with a Grenfell Tower resident, by posing as...

Billy Bush reinstated after “Today” apologises to him

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Billy Bush is to return to the Today programme after receiving a grovelling apology from the network owners.  They have also sacked the producers and...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

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There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters...

Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth

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In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth. Employees...

Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover

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The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...

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Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith. The toe faced smarm slinger...

The Herald Headline Review: Today’s Sunday paper headlines in one easy read

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The Sun on Sunday leads with a report that Jeremy Corbyn was seen at the same hotel as someone vaguely related to someone who...
Outrage

All w**ds to be b*nned to avoid offending p***ks

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All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity. The reason for the multi-party agreed...

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