Daily Mail readers die from apoplexy after Muslim Immigrant wins Gold

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Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m...

Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

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Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

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There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show depicts characters...
Outrage

All w**ds to be b*nned to avoid offending p***ks

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All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity. The reason for the multi-party agreed...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

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In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...

Sun reporter accused of posing as human being to secure Grenfell Tower interview

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A complaint is to be lodged after a Sun reporter allegedly attempted to secure an interview with a Grenfell Tower resident, by posing as...

Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction

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The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The...

Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”

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A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...

Liberal hospitalised after catching racism from Daily Mail

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A Rochdale man has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital today after contracting racism from a close encounter with the Daily Mail.  Colin Nigelsson, a...
Jeremy Clarkson

Clarkson hater not bothered about GT success

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A writer for a satirical news site recently spent a lot of time saying that Jeremy Clarkson and Co's new Grand Tour show was...

1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked

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Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached. Yahoo, which was once a...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

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The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the...
Santa and reindeer

Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.

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Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the...

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse

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The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...

Rochdale’s Faringe Estate Clinches Daily Mail’s Coveted “Most Deprived Estate” Award 2016

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There were jubilant scenes in Rochdale last night as tens of Faringe Estate residents gathered around makeshift bonfires and burning cars to celebrate picking...
Brown Paper Bag

Sun to be sold in paper bag

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The Sun newspaper is to be sold with a free brown paper bag from next week, it was revealed on that Twitter thingy today. “From...

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