Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...
Massive twat claims moral high ground
Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of...
Man with giant head appears on Ch4’s Grand Designs
A man with an unusually massive head denies he's up his own arse after appearing on channel 4s Grand Designs. The house featured the...
Liberal elite should stop bullying Stalin says Daily Mail
The Daily Mail has instructed its readers to avoid the film, The Death of Stalin.
In an editorial piece the Mail said, "This film...
Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist
There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...
Kelvin Mackenzie is a bellend says South Yorkshire Police
South Yorkshire Police have taken the bold move to publicly call the former editor of the The Sun, Kelvin Mackenzie a "complete bellend" over...
Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...
Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith.
The toe faced smarm slinger...
Daily Mail Exposed as a False Newspaper
Jonathan Harmswoth, 4th Viscount of Rothermere, controlling shareholder and current chairman of the Daily Mail has finally come clean and admitted that the newspaper...
The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll
Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from...
BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
Shock as Canary dies from its own gas
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was today in a position where he wasn’t just on the right, but in the right. That’s about as galling...
Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better
Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.
BBC to put Sir David Attenborough in a ‘stasis chamber’
The specialist chamber housing Sir David Attenborough was created by NASA for long haul space travel and would have allowed Astronauts to be put...
Daily Mail readers die from apoplexy after Muslim Immigrant wins Gold
Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m...
The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet
For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.
Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...
Goebbels didn’t like satire either – satirists tell Zuckerberg
As the entire world struggles to unravel themselves from their twisted knickers following the surprise election of a sexist satsuma to the Whitehouse satirists have come under fire from Google and Facebook for writing fake news, otherwise known as fiction.
