Rochdale Herald editor drowns in tragic Daily Mail tractor accident

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In an incident uncannily similar to the fate of controversial media proprietor, Robert Maxwell, who apparently drowned after falling from his private yacht, an...
Tory

There’s nothing funny about the Tories moan satirists

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Satirists up and down the country are throwing their pens and finger bashing the backspace key in frustration. "It's the bloody Tories" said one writer...

Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe

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There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.
Karen Danczuk Topless

Herald Reporter in KAREN DANCZUK TOPLESS Clickbait Scandal

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Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

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The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the...

Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...
Brown Paper Bag

Sun to be sold in paper bag

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The Sun newspaper is to be sold with a free brown paper bag from next week, it was revealed on that Twitter thingy today. “From...
Michael McIntyre

Comic Relief to be just Michael McIntyre and a bunch of Russells in future

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The BBC announced today that all future Comic Relief events will simply be Michael McIntyre and people called Russell running around and doing observational...

Liberal elite should stop bullying Stalin says Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail has instructed its readers to avoid the film, The Death of Stalin. In an editorial piece the Mail said, "This film...

We’re nothing like Trump Supporters insist lone wolves

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Lone wolves are said to be up in arms this afternoon after CNN compared them to Trump Supporter and Canadian mosque shooter Alexandre Bissonnette.

George Osborne represents the new Standard Londoner

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There was surprise throughout the media world today when it was announced that Gideon "George" Osborne, MP for Tatton, would join the London Evening...

BBC resolves gender pay gap crisis

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Human Resources managers at the BBC have been working tirelessly throughout the weekend, completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng...
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

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The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...

Man with giant head appears on Ch4’s Grand Designs

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A man with an unusually massive head denies he's up his own arse after appearing on channel 4s Grand Designs. The house featured the...

New Beer Campaign Branded ‘Tasteless’

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The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in...

Gay Muslims for Christmas – supermarket turns up the inclusion to 11 with groundbreaking...

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Pray together, lay together Scottish supermarket retailer Laldy has long sought to be a market disrupter by bringing cheap, if slightly bizarre, product, combinations. This...

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