New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming
In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...
The Canary calls for Tory MP to resign after failing to wash hands after...
Today The Canary has posted their 1,000th 'breaking news' article, in which 'the Tories are done' and that 'Theresa May must resign.'
The far left...
Muslims damage white man’s van outside mosque, screams Daily Mail
Allegedly Paul Dacre rang round every Daily Mail journalist to ensure The Daily Mail created the appropriate coverage of the terrorist incident in Finsbury.
Simply...
Google under pressure as journalists try to figure out what Grime is
Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it.
"We at the Times...
Daily Mail Editor sectioned after being confused by photograph of white terrorist
The Editor of The Daily Mail was carried out of Northcliffe House in a straitjacket this morning after a photograph of a white man...
Katie Hopkins unearths link between Lego and Autism
Katie Hopkins, lead reporter from the Daily Mail, claims she has discovered a link between children who use Lego and Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Katie gloated...
Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...
Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith.
The toe faced smarm slinger...
There’s nothing funny about the Tories moan satirists
Satirists up and down the country are throwing their pens and finger bashing the backspace key in frustration.
"It's the bloody Tories" said one writer...
Daily Mail outrage as child placed with Muslim foster parents not with Christian child...
The Daily Mail and its readers have reacted with fury after a child was placed with a Muslim foster family due to a lack...
Liberal elite should stop bullying Stalin says Daily Mail
The Daily Mail has instructed its readers to avoid the film, The Death of Stalin.
In an editorial piece the Mail said, "This film...
The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll
Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from...
BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis
Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced
ginseng tea...
PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter
In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...
Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...
The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.
Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe
There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.
Daily Mail reveal African poverty is a load of old tosh
The Daily Mail today have exclusively revealed that African poverty is rubbish and was invented by Oxfam as a way of making a quick...
