Google under pressure as journalists try to figure out what Grime is

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Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it. "We at the Times...

Massive twat claims moral high ground

20
Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of...
Elderly couple

Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...

0
The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east". Pensioner, Stan Still said,...
Outrage

All w**ds to be b*nned to avoid offending p***ks

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All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity. The reason for the multi-party agreed...

OED to introduce new terms for despicable journalism

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Following some recent "newspaper" headlines, a source at the Oxford English Dictionary has revealed some new words to be introduced to accurately describe some...

Britain celebrates start of 40 days of losing its mind about Easter eggs

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Britain has been celebrating the start of its traditional Lent activity of being outraged about Easter Eggs not saying Easter on them. Father Frederick Seddon...
Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

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A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...

‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls

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Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone...

Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...

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A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...

Reality blamed for increase of violence on television

2
Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV. Many of...

Goebbels didn’t like satire either – satirists tell Zuckerberg

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As the entire world struggles to unravel themselves from their twisted knickers following the surprise election of a sexist satsuma to the Whitehouse satirists have come under fire from Google and Facebook for writing fake news, otherwise known as fiction.

Taking are speling back!

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The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict. Computer giants and tax dodging...

Daily Mail Readers confused more toddlers haven’t walked alone to UK from Syria

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Daily Mail Readers are confused more toddlers haven't walked the 2,000 miles to Calais from Syria.

Gay Muslims for Christmas – supermarket turns up the inclusion to 11 with groundbreaking...

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Pray together, lay together Scottish supermarket retailer Laldy has long sought to be a market disrupter by bringing cheap, if slightly bizarre, product, combinations. This...
The Daily Mail

Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul

9
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...

Heroic ‘fragile snowflake’ Piers Morgan attempts to man up by sitting on a sofa

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Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about...

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