Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year for stopping Coldplay touring

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Greta Thunberg has won Time magazine's Person of the Year for her work in stopping Coldplay from touring. Thunberg said, "All of my life there...

Yahoo’s Head of IT Security asks Have you tried turning it off then on...

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The Global Head of IT Security for Yahoo has moved swiftly to support customers and dispel rumours of incompetence. VP of IT Security Brian Hodgkins,...
Bomb Squad

Suspicious package at Daily Mail confirmed as charity collection box

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The suspicious package at Daily Mail HQ is a charity collection box for Syrian refugees.  No-one is quite sure how it got there but it’s been confirmed...

Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation

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News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee. It is thought he...

Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate

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There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...

Heroic ‘fragile snowflake’ Piers Morgan attempts to man up by sitting on a sofa

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Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about...

Thousands injured after Hypocrisy Bomb detonates at Daily Mail Headquarters

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Thousands of Daily Mail employees were left hideously disfigured after an extremist hypocrisy bomb detonated under their lair at Northcliffe House.
Brexiter

Daily Mail reveal United Airlines assault victim once had an overdue library book

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It has been revealed today that Dr David Dao, the passenger on a United Airlines flight who was beaten for sitting in a seat...

Study finds 112% of people can’t tell difference between real and fake news

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A study by the prestigious department of Idiocy and General Fuckwittery at the World famous Rochdale Community University has revealed that between 111% and 112% of all people who use social media can't tell the difference between real and fake news.

‘No such thing as a moderate Muslim’ says right-wing extremist nut-job

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John Rant, an out of work shopping trolley attendant and EDL member from Rochdale, has once again taken to social media to claim there...
Tax avoidance Tax reform

Major newspapers not really committed to calling for reform of tax avoidance system for...

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The readership of Britain's newspapers say they're confused that the papers aren't being more assertive in calling for tax reform. Right wing press connoisseur, Cliff...
The Canary Website

Why isn’t the media reporting UK government mass genocide? Asks The Canary

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The Canary has today revealed what the mainstream media (msm) won't. That the Tory led Government have committed mass genocide in a bid to...

Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse

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Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will...

Google under pressure as journalists try to figure out what Grime is

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Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it. "We at the Times...

Telegraph journalist executes her integrity with call to murder politician

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Sane people all over the country were horrified, but largely unsurprised, that right-wing publication the Daily Telegraph had called for a political leader...

Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...

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The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.

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