The suspicious package at Daily Mail HQ is a charity collection box for Syrian refugees.
No-one is quite sure how it got there but it’s been confirmed by security services to contain nothing but 16p and a sweet wrapper.
Investigations into how the charity box ended up in such a hostile environment are ongoing, it is thought that it may have been intended for one of the organisations that shares an address with the daily hate peddling filth rag, one that employs actual humans, the ones that have hearts instead of blackened hate filled voids.
The police commented “whoever put it there was either committing some kind of sarcastic practical joke or they were utterly confused, no one in the Daily Mail offices has the levels of empathy required to donate to charity”.
Paul Dacre is conducting an internal witch hunt using DNA and fingerprinting techniques to identify who on The Daily Mail staff put 16p in the charity box.