The ghost of Diana, Thingy of Wales, has been giving Daily Express readers advice on how to survive the cold weather.
Speaking through a medium, Diana said, “You should only travel if you absolutely have to. Driving conditions are treacherous and believe me, you don’t want to be involved in a car crash.”
The Princess, wearing a high vis jacket and carrying a crocheted blanket advised anybody who does travel to take a flask of soup with them. “Fanny Craddock always makes me a nice soup from her husbands parsnips. He’s very handy in the vegetable patch. If you don’t want to make soup then supermarkets do lovely alternatives. Just don’t buy Duchy Originals. They’re made from slugs and snails and puppy dogs’ tails.”
Diana’s other tips included instructing your staff to arrive 10 minutes earlier so as to defrost your car before you travel.
The Express also revealed that Diana still thinks Brexit is a good idea. “Uncontrolled immigration needs to be limited. This will only be solved by leaving the EU. Brexit is your duty to future generations. The country is full.”
Diana recently revealed, via a medium, that Meghan Marckle is the whore of Babylon and that Prince Harry should have married Pippa Middleton when he had the chance and before her arse went saggy.
Diana was unable to provide a reason for nobody ever seeing a ghost wearing a shell suit and mullet. She just enigmatically said, “Yes. It is strange that ghosts only ever appear wearing Tudor or Victorian clothing. It’s all part of God’s plan though.”
The final prediction from Diana was that the cold snap could see house prices plummet.