Leonard Cohen ready to die because 2016 is a total wanksplat
82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced...
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Cliff and Keith “devastated” following death of their brother Little
Cliff Richard and twin brother Keith are said to be "utterly devastated" following the death of their big brother, Little, sources have told The...
Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...
Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.
Jeremy Vine in road rage incident.
Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.
He was followed and...
Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week.
Hopkins's reputation went into an...
Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael
Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael.
A...
Prince Philip to reprise role in new Star Wars film
His Royal Highness to play part of Grand Moff Tarkin again in latest outing of sci-fi saga.
Warning: contains spoilers
Shooting began today for the latest...
Conor McGregor refuses to quit, offers Stephen Hawking a game of ‘da physics’
In a ground-breaking move, career punchist and all round feckin' lad Conor McGregor has revealed his plans to offer professor Stephen Hawking a game...
Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay
The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen...
Ketty Hopkins joins GB equestrian team
Horse faced professional turd and former Daily Mail columnist Katie Hopkins has apparently been offered a new job by the GB olympic equestrian team.
Katie,...
Twitter explodes after banning racist for racism after warning him not to be racist...
The social media platform Twitter is going bonkers today after permanently banning a user for inciting an abusive racist attack on a fellow Twitter...
Oscars goodie bag to include DNA evidence gathering kits
Celebrities will be receiving goodie bags at the Oscars with kits for collecting and preserving DNA in them.
The goodie bags, given to Oscar winners...
Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you
The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all.
After the the shock death...
John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier
The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not...
Martin Roberts Demands Recount.
Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...
