Man who says negativity causes cancer sues HBOS for fraud
A quiz show presenter who asked a cancer patient if it was possible his ill
health is caused by your negative attitude has announced he...
Issue I keep reminding everyone of hurting my reputation, says Cliff
Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about...
Russell Brand in hot water again for ‘pranking’ Andrews Sachs’ granddaughter
Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late...
All contestants to win The Apprentice this year
The BBC has forced Sir Alan Sugar to allow everyone in the current series of The Apprentice to be given a job in the...
Skeletor still ‘pretty buff’ for a skeleton
Men's Health Magazine today announced its annual Top Ten Fittest Male Celebs list with actor, recently elected DUP MP and self proclaimed evil overlord Skeletor...
McVitie’s and Walkers crisps back plans to decriminalise cannabis
Mcvities and Walkers crisps have allegedly got behind a backbench revolt to decriminalise cannabis.
Plans are already being made to reclassify cannabis from a class...
MPs & Celebrities injured in stampede to be the most offended
MPs have described the 'hysterical' moment they were crushed in a desperate stampede to be the most righteously indignant and offended.
Mike Backbencher - MP...
Clarkson hater not bothered about GT success
A writer for a satirical news site recently spent a lot of time saying that Jeremy Clarkson and Co's new Grand Tour show was...
Harvey Weinstein is a Democrat is the new Hitler was a Vegetarian
Hip new fashy fashion hits Brownhill School
All the coolest kids in Brownhill School, Rochdale, have adopted it. “Yeah well, Harvey Weinstein was a Democrat so...
Bruce Forsyth’s inheritance to be shown on conveyor belt for family members to remember
If the children of the late Sir Bruce Forsyth wish to inherit his estate, they must remember the individual parts of it that they...
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Ban on new celebrity Chefs
The government is set to introduce legislation preventing the creation of new celebrity Chefs, after pretentiousness levels in the UK became toxic.
It...
George Osborne admits he’s Banksy confessing “it was my first job”
Evening Standard Editor George Osborne is rightfully popular with recruitment specialists but few people are aware of his first job as famous, mysterious street...
Creator of 2016 Sgt Pepper ‘dead celeb’ picture commits suicide due to repetitive strain...
The unknown Twitter user, who created the updated iconic album cover to incorporate all the great and good 2016 has taken from us, reportedly...
Fatboy runs away from the Ball
The worlds biggest celebrity couple, Ball and Slim, have sadly announced they are to divorce after 18 years of party-hard marriage.
Meat Loaf isn’t dead
Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive.
The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...
