Gallagher in filthy pool party outrage
Our colleagues at the Swindon Advertiser have told us that bacteria in the water has resulted in the Oasis pool being shut for the...
George Michael dead after ‘giving away’ 33rd heart
The 80’s pop sensation, 90’s cop-bothering loiterer and noughties stoner George Michael sadly died at home 'peacefully in his sleep.'
The Wham! front man was...
Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week.
Hopkins's reputation went into an...
Game Over for Womb Raider Brad Pitt
Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, better known as 'AngRad' have announced they are to divorce after 12 years together.
Spokesman and agent...
Jeremy Corbyn wins prestigious Tony Blair peace prize
Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Tony Blair peace prize and the Rochdale Herald is the only news outlet to report it.
The prize...
Brexit means boo-boo for May’s haute couture
Prime Minister Theresa May has been pictured wearing some of the very best in British haute couture recently.
Her bold departure from her usual...
Angelina Jolie on track to beat Elizabeth Taylor’s record
Marriage fan Angelina Jolie revealed yesterday that she was well on track to break the late Elizabeth Taylor's Hollywood record of eight marriages and...
That famous bloke from that thing has died, aged 86
That guy from that thing, you know the thing, the thing with the other guy that died, has passed away following a long battle...
Some bloke from the 90’s announces his “new name”
Some bloke that you sort of remember from the 1990's but you can't really remember why has stepped up his irrelevance by announcing a...
Really Respectable Reputation of Casting Couch Crushed as Absolutely Amazing Allegations Horrify Hollywood Hierarchy
Hollywood, nay, America, nay the whole World, has been rocked to its core by allegations that a man abused his position of power, as...
Fauxtrage as Woman Responds Rationally to Death of Celebrity
A woman has rationally told a few friends, in person and not on social media, that she was sorry to hear about the death of a famous film star.
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight
Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC.
Mr. Henry was the...
Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay
The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen...
Colombia fears double dip recession following death of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
Government officials in Colombia have issued warnings of a double dip recession following the death of former "it girl" Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.
Former socialite and...
Happy Ed Balls Day
You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has...
