Tommy Robinson announces plan to launch Ceefax page

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Far right midget Tommy Robinson has announced plans to launch a Ceefax page following news that he has been banned from both Facebook and...

Robbie Williams comes undone at World Cup opening ceremony

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Robbie Williams finds himself in trouble after giving the finger to fans at World Cup opening ceremony after repeatedly being asked to sing 'This...
Gerard Butler

Hollywood bimbo Gerard Butler says it never occurred to him that injecting bee venom...

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Hollywood bimbo, Gerard Butler has been hospitalised with anaphylactic shock his agent has revealed. Butler, injected 13 vials of bee venom in an attempt to...

Nation Ecstatic As Dapper Laughs Finally Disappears Up Own Arse

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Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn wins prestigious Tony Blair peace prize

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Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Tony Blair peace prize and the Rochdale Herald is the only news outlet to report it. The prize...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

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Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...

Prue Leith reveals Hawking final theory

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Prue Leith, the famous cook, presenter and writer was recorded by several bystanders shouting Stephen Hawking’s ‘theory of everything’ at police while being detained...

That famous bloke from that thing has died, aged 86

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That guy from that thing, you know the thing, the thing with the other guy that died, has passed away following a long battle...
Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

All contestants to win The Apprentice this year

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The BBC has forced Sir Alan Sugar to allow everyone in the current series of The Apprentice to be given a job in the...
Ant and Dec

Failure To Recognise Ant And Dec Improves Corbyn’s Ratings

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All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant...
Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth’s inheritance to be shown on conveyor belt for family members to remember

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If the children of the late Sir Bruce Forsyth wish to inherit his estate, they must remember the individual parts of it that they...

Hollywood blockbuster may not feature Benedict Cumberbatch

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Controversy struck Hollywood today when news broke that a new high budget movie might not feature Bendable Cramplebitch. "2017 is a brand new year," said...
Freddie Mercury and Brian May

Britain First drop ‘We Will Rock You’ theme on learning Freddie Mercury’s Indian heritage

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In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out...

Issue I keep reminding everyone of hurting my reputation, says Cliff

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Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about...

Trump threatens military action against ‘rocket man’

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President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to...

Egghead CJ de Mooi chose that name! On purpose!

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CJ de Mooi shocked the nation today by revealing that CJ de Mooi isn't his real name. Believe it or not he chose that name!...

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