All Your Faves Dying Just Preparation for apocalypse 

2016 has seen the death of pretty much every famous person you like. We interviewed Death yesterday to find out why: "I KNOW PEOPLE ARE...

Fatboy runs away from the Ball

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The worlds biggest celebrity couple, Ball and Slim, have sadly announced they are to divorce after 18 years of party-hard marriage.

MPs & Celebrities injured in stampede to be the most offended

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MPs have described the 'hysterical' moment they were crushed in a desperate stampede to be the most righteously indignant and offended. Mike Backbencher - MP...

Nuttall Claims Best Actor At Oscars

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Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at...
Ed Balls

Happy Ed Balls Day

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You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has...
Pudsey bear

Shock as Pudsey Bear arrested just one hour before Children in Need goes live

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The BBC is in a state of chaos and panic  this evening as they desperately scramble to find a replacement for Children in Need...

Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home

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Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year. In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...

Chris Rea spends second night in Charnock Richards Services.

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Gravel-voiced guitar stalwart, Chris Rea, is still trying to get home for Christmas this year, after the 'Road to Hell' star's head gasket went...
Noel Edmonds

Man who says negativity causes cancer sues HBOS for fraud

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A quiz show presenter who asked a cancer patient if it was possible his ill health is caused by your negative attitude has announced he...
pippa

Pippa Middleton topless photos break internet

Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...

Ketty Hopkins joins GB equestrian team

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Horse faced professional turd and former Daily Mail columnist Katie Hopkins has apparently been offered a new job by the GB olympic equestrian team. Katie,...
John Noakes

John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier

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The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not...
Martin Roberts

Martin Roberts Demands Recount.

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Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...
Pot Plant

Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...

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Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody...
Jeremy Clarkson

Clarkson hater not bothered about GT success

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A writer for a satirical news site recently spent a lot of time saying that Jeremy Clarkson and Co's new Grand Tour show was...
Bono

U2 Twatty Helps Unfunny Fatty

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Following squeaking chubbalub unfunnyman James Corden's desperately misjudged and humourless attempts at making light of sexual assault, professional shortarsed twat and frontman of puzzlingy...

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