Rochdale Rap Star Arrested On Drug Charges

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Hip hop maestro and rap superstar, 30 Bob, from Milnrow Rochdale, was arrested last week on drugs charges we can exclusively reveal. In a statement...
Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth ‘can’t wait’ to draw his pension

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Following the news today that the government of the United Kingdom will shortly be raising the retirement age to 168 years old Bruce Forsyth...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
William and Kate

Prince William fingers Kate in back of hatchback in Rochdale

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A sticker showing Prince William and The Duchess of Cambridge along with a depiction of two fingers raised in a V sign has caused...
Pot Plant

Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...

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Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody...
Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen ready to die because 2016 is a total wanksplat

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82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced...
Michael Gove

Gove cast as Tick-Tock in Rupert Murdoch’s adaption of ‘Peter Pan’

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An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'. Michael Gove...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn wins prestigious Tony Blair peace prize

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Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Tony Blair peace prize and the Rochdale Herald is the only news outlet to report it. The prize...

Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay

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The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen...

Oscars goodie bag to include DNA evidence gathering kits

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Celebrities will be receiving goodie bags at the Oscars with kits for collecting and preserving DNA in them. The goodie bags, given to Oscar winners...
Martin Roberts

Martin Roberts Demands Recount.

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Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...
Fauxtrage

Fauxtrage as Woman Responds Rationally to Death of Celebrity

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A woman has rationally told a few friends, in person and not on social media, that she was sorry to hear about the death of a famous film star.

Meat Loaf isn’t dead

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Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive. The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...
Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth’s inheritance to be shown on conveyor belt for family members to remember

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If the children of the late Sir Bruce Forsyth wish to inherit his estate, they must remember the individual parts of it that they...
Ant and Dec

Ant McPartlin forced to have Anti-Drink-Driving Billboard attached to Forehead as Punishment for DUI

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London, England- Embroiled host Ant McPartlin will be hosting something new. While waiting to see what the final outcome of his DUI arrest, Ant...

MPs & Celebrities injured in stampede to be the most offended

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MPs have described the 'hysterical' moment they were crushed in a desperate stampede to be the most righteously indignant and offended. Mike Backbencher - MP...

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