Jason Manford

Jason Manford Kicks Aid Worker from Wall

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In a move that is sure to delight anti-refugee groups throughout the country, the once amusing Northern 'comedian', Jason Manford shockingly kicked an aid...
Pot Plant

Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...

1
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody...
David Cameron Shed

David Cameron disappointed history will not judge him by his shed

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David Cameron was seen seeking the comfort of his many inherited bank accounts this afternoon after a wounding and very personal setback. The event appears...
George Michael

George Michael dead after ‘giving away’ 33rd heart

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The 80’s pop sensation, 90’s cop-bothering loiterer and noughties stoner George Michael sadly died at home 'peacefully in his sleep.' The Wham! front man was...
Michael Gove

Gove cast as Tick-Tock in Rupert Murdoch’s adaption of ‘Peter Pan’

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An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'. Michael Gove...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…

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The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an...
Connor McGregor

Conor McGregor refuses to quit, offers Stephen Hawking a game of ‘da physics’

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In a ground-breaking move, career punchist and all round feckin' lad Conor McGregor has revealed his plans to offer professor Stephen Hawking a game...

Terror in the skies over Manchester airport!

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There was panic and pandemonium on a Jet2 flight to Rhodes yesterday morning when the editor of The Rochdale Herald, Quentin Q Fortesqueue, realised...
Leopard print shoes

Hard Core Fans Dismayed as PJ Harvey Admires Theresa May’s Shoes

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Hardcore fans of uncompromising musician Polly Jean (PJ) Harvey have reacted angrily to their musical idol expressing admiration for Prime Minister Theresa Mary May's...

Creator of 2016 Sgt Pepper ‘dead celeb’ picture commits suicide due to repetitive strain...

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The unknown Twitter user, who created the updated iconic album cover to incorporate all the great and good 2016 has taken from us, reportedly...

Joe Swanson elected leader of the Liberal Democrats

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The popular ex-policeman is predicted to cause almost as many people to support the Lib Dems as the leaders of the Labour and Conservative...

Government To Implement National Treasure Preservation Scheme

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Downing Street has just announced that it intends to implement a ‘National Treasure’ preservation scheme, in a bid to avoid any further British legends...
Jeremy Clarkson

Clarkson hater not bothered about GT success

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A writer for a satirical news site recently spent a lot of time saying that Jeremy Clarkson and Co's new Grand Tour show was...
Boris Johnson wins Hunted

Boris Johnson evades detection to win 2020 season of Hunted

Using an impressive combination of stealth, sneakiness and bare-faced cheek, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has trounced both his opponents and his pursuers to claim...
Ant and Dec

Failure To Recognise Ant And Dec Improves Corbyn’s Ratings

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All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant...
Bono

Campaign to buy Bono a Rolex stunning success

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A Kickstarter campaign to buy Bono a £15,000 Rolex watch has been hailed as an astounding success by the man who started. Bill Board told...

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