All Your Faves Dying Just Preparation for apocalypse 

2016 has seen the death of pretty much every famous person you like. We interviewed Death yesterday to find out why: "I KNOW PEOPLE ARE...
Martin Roberts

Martin Roberts Demands Recount.

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Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...

McVitie’s and Walkers crisps back plans to decriminalise cannabis

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Mcvities and Walkers crisps have allegedly got behind a backbench revolt to decriminalise cannabis. Plans are already being made to reclassify cannabis from a class...

MPs & Celebrities injured in stampede to be the most offended

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MPs have described the 'hysterical' moment they were crushed in a desperate stampede to be the most righteously indignant and offended. Mike Backbencher - MP...
Bono

Campaign to buy Bono a Rolex stunning success

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A Kickstarter campaign to buy Bono a £15,000 Rolex watch has been hailed as an astounding success by the man who started. Bill Board told...
Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen ready to die because 2016 is a total wanksplat

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82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced...

Katie Price Fails 5 Minutes Into Her Attempt To Go A Whole Day Without...

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Three days ago the former glamour model Katie Price, also known as Libya, attempted to last a whole day without doing anything to publicise...

Game Over for Womb Raider Brad Pitt

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Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, better known as 'AngRad' have announced they are to divorce after 12 years together. Spokesman and agent...

Melania Trump reveals her favourite iPod Playlist

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In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.

Prue Leith reveals Hawking final theory

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Prue Leith, the famous cook, presenter and writer was recorded by several bystanders shouting Stephen Hawking’s ‘theory of everything’ at police while being detained...

Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay

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The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen...
Harvey Weinstein

Really Respectable Reputation of Casting Couch Crushed as Absolutely Amazing Allegations Horrify Hollywood Hierarchy

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Hollywood, nay, America, nay the whole World, has been rocked to its core by allegations that a man abused his position of power, as...

Safety fears for Peter André.

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Fears are growing for the safety of shiny mannequin Peter André, after he failed to appear on the cover of this month's OK Magazine....
Ant and Dec

Failure To Recognise Ant And Dec Improves Corbyn’s Ratings

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All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

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Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...

Terror in the skies over Manchester airport!

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There was panic and pandemonium on a Jet2 flight to Rhodes yesterday morning when the editor of The Rochdale Herald, Quentin Q Fortesqueue, realised...

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