Castle in woods

Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017

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Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned. This year has seen, in very...

Rochdale Rap Star Arrested On Drug Charges

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Hip hop maestro and rap superstar, 30 Bob, from Milnrow Rochdale, was arrested last week on drugs charges we can exclusively reveal. In a statement...

Some bloke from the 90’s announces his “new name”

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Some bloke that you sort of remember from the 1990's but you can't really remember why has stepped up his irrelevance by announcing a...
Martin Roberts

Martin Roberts Demands Recount.

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Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...

Safety fears for Peter André.

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Fears are growing for the safety of shiny mannequin Peter André, after he failed to appear on the cover of this month's OK Magazine....

Darth Vader Faces CSA Action for Non Payment of Child Support

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Darth Vader is facing a catastrophic attachment to earnings over claims of non-payment of child support. The alleged offense occurred a long time ago in...

Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First

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This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul...

God Issues Apology For 2016 Celebrity Cull

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In an official statement released this afternoon, God has apologised for the ongoing massacre of talent this year, blaming it on recent pressure to...

Meat Loaf isn’t dead

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Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive. The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...
David Cameron Shed

David Cameron disappointed history will not judge him by his shed

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David Cameron was seen seeking the comfort of his many inherited bank accounts this afternoon after a wounding and very personal setback. The event appears...

Farage delighted to be named UK’s top racist

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Following numerous occasions where he was always the bridesmaid, Nigel Farage is now delighted to be at the top of his tree in his...

Game Over for Womb Raider Brad Pitt

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Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, better known as 'AngRad' have announced they are to divorce after 12 years together. Spokesman and agent...

Tom Hiddleston does a runner.

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Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

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Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...

Peter Pan of Pop Peeves Proud Populace

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Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath...

Terror in the skies over Manchester airport!

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There was panic and pandemonium on a Jet2 flight to Rhodes yesterday morning when the editor of The Rochdale Herald, Quentin Q Fortesqueue, realised...

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