Civil rights group shocked after Ant McPartlin sentenced to watching Britain’s Got Talent

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Prisoners' rights group, Liberty, protested against the harsh treatment of Ant McPartlin in a strongly worded text to The Rochdale Herald today after the...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan furious after discovering Buffalo Wings don’t contain Buffalo

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Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at...

Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets

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Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...

James Corden to star in Paul Nuttall biopic

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International media sensation, corpulent bearded sex symbol and father of the year, James Corden is to take the starring role in a planned new...
Gerard Butler

Hollywood bimbo Gerard Butler says it never occurred to him that injecting bee venom...

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Hollywood bimbo, Gerard Butler has been hospitalised with anaphylactic shock his agent has revealed. Butler, injected 13 vials of bee venom in an attempt to...
Connor McGregor

Conor McGregor refuses to quit, offers Stephen Hawking a game of ‘da physics’

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In a ground-breaking move, career punchist and all round feckin' lad Conor McGregor has revealed his plans to offer professor Stephen Hawking a game...

Elderly white bloke invoking blitz spirit wins Brexit’s Got Talent

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In an emotional final show, 102 year old Tommy Atkins held off challengers by singing Vera Lynn songs in a quavering voice in front...

Peter Pan of Pop Peeves Proud Populace

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Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath...

Issue I keep reminding everyone of hurting my reputation, says Cliff

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Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about...
Crocodile does bushtucker trial on I'm a Celebrity

East goes west in latest Celebrity Bushtucker Trial

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"I'm pleased to have played my part though I won't be joining camp for dinner. I'm stuffed."

Joe Swanson elected leader of the Liberal Democrats

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The popular ex-policeman is predicted to cause almost as many people to support the Lib Dems as the leaders of the Labour and Conservative...

That famous bloke from that thing has died, aged 86

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That guy from that thing, you know the thing, the thing with the other guy that died, has passed away following a long battle...
Castle in woods

Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017

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Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned. This year has seen, in very...

Rochdale Rap Star Arrested On Drug Charges

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Hip hop maestro and rap superstar, 30 Bob, from Milnrow Rochdale, was arrested last week on drugs charges we can exclusively reveal. In a statement...
Martin Roberts

Martin Roberts Demands Recount.

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Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...

Safety fears for Peter André.

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Fears are growing for the safety of shiny mannequin Peter André, after he failed to appear on the cover of this month's OK Magazine....

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