Gerard Butler

Hollywood bimbo Gerard Butler says it never occurred to him that injecting bee venom...

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Hollywood bimbo, Gerard Butler has been hospitalised with anaphylactic shock his agent has revealed. Butler, injected 13 vials of bee venom in an attempt to...

Chris Rea spends second night in Charnock Richards Services.

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Gravel-voiced guitar stalwart, Chris Rea, is still trying to get home for Christmas this year, after the 'Road to Hell' star's head gasket went...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…

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The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an...

Ban on new celebrity Chefs

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The government is set to introduce legislation preventing the creation of new celebrity Chefs, after pretentiousness levels in the UK became toxic. It...

Melania Trump reveals her favourite iPod Playlist

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In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

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Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...

Issue I keep reminding everyone of hurting my reputation, says Cliff

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Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about...

Colombia fears double dip recession following death of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

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Government officials in Colombia have issued warnings of a double dip recession following the death of former "it girl" Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Former socialite and...

Tributes flood in for trailblazing feminist who has died aged 91

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The world is today in mourning for pioneering feminist and humanitarian Hugh Hefner, who has died at his home in California just hours after...
John Noakes

John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier

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The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not...
Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth ‘can’t wait’ to draw his pension

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Following the news today that the government of the United Kingdom will shortly be raising the retirement age to 168 years old Bruce Forsyth...

McVitie’s and Walkers crisps back plans to decriminalise cannabis

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Mcvities and Walkers crisps have allegedly got behind a backbench revolt to decriminalise cannabis. Plans are already being made to reclassify cannabis from a class...
Morrissey

Charles Manson was just a bit excitable claims Morrissey

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Mancunian pastry product Morrissey has upped the ante on his recent efforts to mitigate the minor fondlings of Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein by...

Katie Price Fails 5 Minutes Into Her Attempt To Go A Whole Day Without...

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Three days ago the former glamour model Katie Price, also known as Libya, attempted to last a whole day without doing anything to publicise...

Cheryl Fernandez-Versini is pregnant!

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Possibly... The female reporters at the Herald have been watching Cheryl Fernandez-Versini's tummy with quivering anticipation. And now we can exclusively reveal that 33-year-old Cheryl,...

Mary, Mel and Sue to present new slapstick kids tv show ‘The Cackle...

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The trio who recently opted out of any future appearances on Great British Bake Off after its acquisition by Channel 4 announced the news...

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