Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite
Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act.
It comes after the...
George Osborne admits he’s Banksy confessing “it was my first job”
Evening Standard Editor George Osborne is rightfully popular with recruitment specialists but few people are aware of his first job as famous, mysterious street...
Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay
The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen...
Martin Roberts Demands Recount.
Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...
Fatboy runs away from the Ball
The worlds biggest celebrity couple, Ball and Slim, have sadly announced they are to divorce after 18 years of party-hard marriage.
Prince William fingers Kate in back of hatchback in Rochdale
A sticker showing Prince William and The Duchess of Cambridge along with a depiction of two fingers raised in a V sign has caused...
Failure To Recognise Ant And Dec Improves Corbyn’s Ratings
All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant...
Leonard Cohen ready to die because 2016 is a total wanksplat
82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced...
Pippa Middleton topless photos break internet
Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...
Peter Pan of Pop Peeves Proud Populace
Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath...
Creator of 2016 Sgt Pepper ‘dead celeb’ picture commits suicide due to repetitive strain...
The unknown Twitter user, who created the updated iconic album cover to incorporate all the great and good 2016 has taken from us, reportedly...
Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”
A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...
Fauxtrage as Woman Responds Rationally to Death of Celebrity
A woman has rationally told a few friends, in person and not on social media, that she was sorry to hear about the death of a famous film star.
Mary Berry to retire from television
With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
U2 Twatty Helps Unfunny Fatty
Following squeaking chubbalub unfunnyman James Corden's desperately misjudged and humourless attempts at making light of sexual assault, professional shortarsed twat and frontman of puzzlingy...
