Some bloke from the 90’s announces his “new name”
Some bloke that you sort of remember from the 1990's but you can't really remember why has stepped up his irrelevance by announcing a...
Bruce Forsyth ‘can’t wait’ to draw his pension
Following the news today that the government of the United Kingdom will shortly be raising the retirement age to 168 years old Bruce Forsyth...
Fatboy runs away from the Ball
The worlds biggest celebrity couple, Ball and Slim, have sadly announced they are to divorce after 18 years of party-hard marriage.
The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...
Government To Implement National Treasure Preservation Scheme
Downing Street has just announced that it intends to implement a ‘National Treasure’ preservation scheme, in a bid to avoid any further British legends...
God Issues Apology For 2016 Celebrity Cull
In an official statement released this afternoon, God has apologised for the ongoing massacre of talent this year, blaming it on recent pressure to...
Civil rights group shocked after Ant McPartlin sentenced to watching Britain’s Got Talent
Prisoners' rights group, Liberty, protested against the harsh treatment of Ant McPartlin in a strongly worded text to The Rochdale Herald today after the...
Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people
Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...
Roy Walker: he’s good, but he’s not right
Archivists who until recently worked for the TV production Carlton have uncovered a gag reel featuring Roy Walker's real responses to the utter dingbats...
God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite
Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act.
It comes after the...
Game Over for Womb Raider Brad Pitt
Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, better known as 'AngRad' have announced they are to divorce after 12 years together.
Spokesman and agent...
Ban on new celebrity Chefs
The government is set to introduce legislation preventing the creation of new celebrity Chefs, after pretentiousness levels in the UK became toxic.
It...
Ketty Hopkins joins GB equestrian team
Horse faced professional turd and former Daily Mail columnist Katie Hopkins has apparently been offered a new job by the GB olympic equestrian team.
Katie,...
That famous bloke from that thing has died, aged 86
That guy from that thing, you know the thing, the thing with the other guy that died, has passed away following a long battle...
Trump threatens military action against ‘rocket man’
President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to...
Celebrities are over-rewarded claims famous, multi-millionaire, award winning star and author on accepting his...
David Walliams has, in a stunning show of hypocrisy and with no hint of irony, claimed that celebrities are over-rewarded as he accepted an...
