James blunt

James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE

5
The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their...

Civil rights group shocked after Ant McPartlin sentenced to watching Britain’s Got Talent

0
Prisoners' rights group, Liberty, protested against the harsh treatment of Ant McPartlin in a strongly worded text to The Rochdale Herald today after the...
Ed Balls

Happy Ed Balls Day

0
You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has...

Farage delighted to be named UK’s top racist

0
Following numerous occasions where he was always the bridesmaid, Nigel Farage is now delighted to be at the top of his tree in his...

Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech

0
Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street...

Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home

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Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year. In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Freddie Mercury and Brian May

Britain First drop ‘We Will Rock You’ theme on learning Freddie Mercury’s Indian heritage

0
In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn wins prestigious Tony Blair peace prize

0
Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Tony Blair peace prize and the Rochdale Herald is the only news outlet to report it. The prize...
Connor McGregor

Conor McGregor refuses to quit, offers Stephen Hawking a game of ‘da physics’

28
In a ground-breaking move, career punchist and all round feckin' lad Conor McGregor has revealed his plans to offer professor Stephen Hawking a game...

Issue I keep reminding everyone of hurting my reputation, says Cliff

0
Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about...

Katie Hopkins outraged as new IPhone X automatically set to permanently disabled and unable...

0
Odious journo-babbler, Katie Hopkins was furious yesterday when she discovered that her new IPhone X was in fact less use than Boris Johnson in...

Tributes flood in for trailblazing feminist who has died aged 91

15
The world is today in mourning for pioneering feminist and humanitarian Hugh Hefner, who has died at his home in California just hours after...
Martin Roberts

Martin Roberts Demands Recount.

0
Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...

Bono reveals that a Lithuanian shopping centre was what he was looking for

0
U2 lead singer, Bono has announced that most of U2's songs are about his need to avoid tax. Bono is alleged to have told the...
Jason Manford

Jason Manford Kicks Aid Worker from Wall

0
In a move that is sure to delight anti-refugee groups throughout the country, the once amusing Northern 'comedian', Jason Manford shockingly kicked an aid...
Bono

Campaign to buy Bono a Rolex stunning success

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A Kickstarter campaign to buy Bono a £15,000 Rolex watch has been hailed as an astounding success by the man who started. Bill Board told...

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