pippa

Pippa Middleton topless photos break internet

Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter...

Issue I keep reminding everyone of hurting my reputation, says Cliff

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Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about...

Terror in the skies over Manchester airport!

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There was panic and pandemonium on a Jet2 flight to Rhodes yesterday morning when the editor of The Rochdale Herald, Quentin Q Fortesqueue, realised...

Katie Hopkins outraged as new IPhone X automatically set to permanently disabled and unable...

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Odious journo-babbler, Katie Hopkins was furious yesterday when she discovered that her new IPhone X was in fact less use than Boris Johnson in...

Angelina Jolie on track to beat Elizabeth Taylor’s record

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Marriage fan Angelina Jolie revealed yesterday that she was well on track to break the late Elizabeth Taylor's Hollywood record of eight marriages and...

Oscars goodie bag to include DNA evidence gathering kits

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Celebrities will be receiving goodie bags at the Oscars with kits for collecting and preserving DNA in them. The goodie bags, given to Oscar winners...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...

Civil rights group shocked after Ant McPartlin sentenced to watching Britain’s Got Talent

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Prisoners' rights group, Liberty, protested against the harsh treatment of Ant McPartlin in a strongly worded text to The Rochdale Herald today after the...
Ed Balls

Happy Ed Balls Day

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You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has...
Pot Plant

Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...

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Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody...

Harvey Weinstein is a Democrat is the new Hitler was a Vegetarian

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Hip new fashy fashion hits Brownhill School All the coolest kids in Brownhill School, Rochdale, have adopted it.  “Yeah well, Harvey Weinstein was a Democrat so...
Bono

U2 Twatty Helps Unfunny Fatty

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Following squeaking chubbalub unfunnyman James Corden's desperately misjudged and humourless attempts at making light of sexual assault, professional shortarsed twat and frontman of puzzlingy...

Cheryl Fernandez-Versini is pregnant!

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Possibly... The female reporters at the Herald have been watching Cheryl Fernandez-Versini's tummy with quivering anticipation. And now we can exclusively reveal that 33-year-old Cheryl,...
Russell Brand

Russell Brand in hot water again for ‘pranking’ Andrews Sachs’ granddaughter

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Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late...

Twitter explodes after banning racist for racism after warning him not to be racist...

The social media platform Twitter is going bonkers today after permanently banning a user for inciting an abusive racist attack on a fellow Twitter...
John Noakes

John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier

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The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not...

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