John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier
The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not...
Martin Roberts Demands Recount.
Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...
Fauxtrage as Woman Responds Rationally to Death of Celebrity
A woman has rationally told a few friends, in person and not on social media, that she was sorry to hear about the death of a famous film star.
Skeletor still ‘pretty buff’ for a skeleton
Men's Health Magazine today announced its annual Top Ten Fittest Male Celebs list with actor, recently elected DUP MP and self proclaimed evil overlord Skeletor...
The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...
Prince William fingers Kate in back of hatchback in Rochdale
A sticker showing Prince William and The Duchess of Cambridge along with a depiction of two fingers raised in a V sign has caused...
Happy Ed Balls Day
You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody...
Failure To Recognise Ant And Dec Improves Corbyn’s Ratings
All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant...
Campaign to buy Bono a Rolex stunning success
A Kickstarter campaign to buy Bono a £15,000 Rolex watch has been hailed as an astounding success by the man who started.
Bill Board told...
Gallagher in filthy pool party outrage
Our colleagues at the Swindon Advertiser have told us that bacteria in the water has resulted in the Oasis pool being shut for the...
Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week.
Hopkins's reputation went into an...
Game Over for Womb Raider Brad Pitt
Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, better known as 'AngRad' have announced they are to divorce after 12 years together.
Spokesman and agent...
Nation Ecstatic As Dapper Laughs Finally Disappears Up Own Arse
Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick...
Tom Hiddleston does a runner.
Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift...
Egghead CJ de Mooi chose that name! On purpose!
CJ de Mooi shocked the nation today by revealing that CJ de Mooi isn't his real name.
Believe it or not he chose that name!...
