Celebrity

The popular ex-policeman is predicted to cause almost as many people to support the Lib Dems as the leaders of the Labour and Conservative parties.  Swanson has appeal across the political spectrum:

The BBC is in a state of chaos and panic  this evening as they desperately scramble to find a replacement for Children in Need stalwart Pudsey Bear, who was sensationally arrested on fraud charges...

Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A mass of floral tribute has already began to appear outside...

Men's Health Magazine today announced its annual Top Ten Fittest Male Celebs list with actor, recently elected DUP MP and self proclaimed evil overlord Skeletor peaking the chart in the coveted #1 position.   Bodybuilder Skeletor grew...

Pippa, from Middleton near Rochdale, was said to be bemused today after seeing photos of a topless bikini advertised for sale in Rochdale's premier fashion boutique, Primark. "It was scandalous" Pippa from Middleton told our...

Piers Morgan has reportedly quit Good Morning Britain this week in order to reprise his award-winning role of Pigeon Lady in the Home Alone movie franchise. Following the success...

News is emerging that 1990's TV stars Rosie and Jim have been arrested and are now facing deportment following the repeal of the European Convention on Human Rights. The TV stars, real names Bratislav...

Gravel-voiced guitar stalwart, Chris Rea, is still trying to get home for Christmas this year, after the 'Road to Hell' star's head gasket went at Charnock Richards Services. Rea, who could have sworn he had...

IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from a pensioner was all it took to send him to...

In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today. The Pope was a keen fan of the 1960s TV show and had...

During a performance in Derbyshire last night Miranda Hart fell over and no one laughed. "It just wasn't funny" said super fan Ewan King who attended the show. "Usually when she falls over I'm in...

Prisoners' rights group, Liberty, protested against the harsh treatment of Ant McPartlin in a strongly worded text to The Rochdale Herald today after the cheeky Geordie piss-head was sentenced to watch Britain's Got Talent...

Everyone lost their shit this week when a rumour regarding the Bedknobs and Broomsticks (non-porno version) star appearing in Game of Thrones surfaced. "Appearing as what? A corpse?" asked Sandra Johnson, a 53 year mum...

Unsubstantiated sources allege Dacre is comfortably the vilest hate-peddling shitweasel in the UK. Feel free to tell us if you disagree with these allegations. But we ask, who are we to question the conclusions? Consider...

The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not known, it’s only known that he made it earlier. It’s well...

The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their grandparents have asked, “Who’s he then and what does he do?” See...