Buzz Aldrin

Buzz Aldrin says not punching Trump is his greatest achievement

Buzz Aldrin has suprised many today by saying that his greatest achievement is not punching Donald Trump. Mr Aldrin attended an event where the President gave a rambling word salad of a speech. Mr Aldrin...

Skeletor still ‘pretty buff’ for a skeleton

Men's Health Magazine today announced its annual Top Ten Fittest Male Celebs list with actor, recently elected DUP MP and self proclaimed evil overlord Skeletor peaking the chart in the coveted #1 position.   Bodybuilder Skeletor grew...

Dame Judi Dench Shows Off New Tattoo

Dame Judi Dench, 81 years young, gave the world it's first sneak preview of her first ever tattoo at this afternoon's premiere of Aladdin at Rochdale's Gracie Fields Theatre. 'Ive been well into Ryan since...
Pudsey bear

Shock as Pudsey Bear arrested just one hour before Children in Need goes live

The BBC is in a state of chaos and panic  this evening as they desperately scramble to find a replacement for Children in Need stalwart Pudsey Bear, who was sensationally arrested on fraud charges...

?Miranda Hart falls over for the last time

During a performance in Derbyshire last night Miranda Hart fell over and no one laughed. "It just wasn't funny" said super fan Ewan King who attended the show. "Usually when she falls over I'm in...

John Travolta health scare latest. It’s not Covid19, it’s just Saturday night fever.

Reports that John Travolta has contracted Covid19 are being down played by his agent. "John has chills, they're multiplying and he's losing control" Mr Travolta's agent told The Rochdale Herald's Hollywood correspondent.  "We would...

Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead

Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke. Gallagher, who is currently touring sold-out village halls as a 'solo artist', took to Twitter...

Joe Swanson elected leader of the Liberal Democrats

The popular ex-policeman is predicted to cause almost as many people to support the Lib Dems as the leaders of the Labour and Conservative parties.  Swanson has appeal across the political spectrum:

Pete Tong devastated after career ending snaps revealed

Pete Tong was said to be devastated this morning after learning that his career as a top international DJ is effectively over. The former Radio 1 DJ awoke this afternoon to discover that all of...
Karen Danczuk Topless

Herald Reporter in KAREN DANCZUK TOPLESS Clickbait Scandal

Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local Herald reporter has shamefully and cynically exploited the system by...

Murder she wrote woman not dead

Everyone lost their shit this week when a rumour regarding the Bedknobs and Broomsticks (non-porno version) star appearing in Game of Thrones surfaced. "Appearing as what? A corpse?" asked Sandra Johnson, a 53 year mum...

Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower

IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from a pensioner was all it took to send him to...

Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people

Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin dodging idiots'. The newspaper Facebook comments page was awash with furious...

Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain to reprise Pigeon Lady role in Home Alone...

Piers Morgan has reportedly quit Good Morning Britain this week in order to reprise his award-winning role of Pigeon Lady in the Home Alone movie franchise. Following the success...
John Noakes

John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier

The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not known, it’s only known that he made it earlier. It’s well...
Roger Moore

Pope to make Roger Moore a saint…

In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today. The Pope was a keen fan of the 1960s TV show and had...

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