Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke.
Gallagher, who is currently touring sold-out village halls as a ‘solo artist’, took to Twitter to air his typically profanity-laden views.
‘No thank you very fucking much’, the former Oasis front-man opined, in response to the question of joining Corden on his ‘driving around in a car singing like a knobhead’ TV segment. He then mis-identified the TV show which brought Corden to fame before concluding, ‘I don’t need to watch it to know I won’t like it. James Corden is a fucking knobhead’.
Twitter users gleefully observing the unfolding spat between the two celebrities were evenly split over which of them is truly the bigger knobhead.
Gallagher is, of course, the elder statesman in this contest, having put in twenty years as the frontman for fractious 90s drug-hoovers Oasis.
Arguably the original ‘Britpop’ band, Oasis were more famous for their clichéd rock’n’roll antics, bad boy shenanigans and the relentless childish bickering of the Gallagher brothers than for any genuine contribution to music.
Corden, on the other hand, is a comparative newcomer in the knobhead stakes after featuring in the hit TV series Gavin and Stacey.
However, he’s lost no time in making up lost ground, having used his success to build a lucrative career opening envelopes on various award shows and somehow getting a fucking OBE along the way.
Corden started his Carpool Karaoke magnum opus on the charity telethon Children in Need in 2011, where he first came up with the idea of driving in the carpool lane in Los Angeles with someone who, unlike him, is actually famous. Since then he has repeated this joke with such luminaries as Stevie Wonder, Mariah Carey and H from Steps.
Corden, who lives in America because, let’s face it, they also lap up Piers Morgan over there, famously bagged ‘the big one’ when he got former First Lady Michelle Obama on his show.
Obama’s feelings on the encounter were not recorded, although Gallagher is alleged to have denounced Corden’s coup de gras as ‘Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiite’.
On his own accomplishments, Gallagher is best left to his own words. In one of his famously Wildean pronouncements on Twitter, Gallagher stated on the 6th of August 2017, and I quote:
Eagles v ducks chopsticks v forks carpets v rugs lollies v jublies paint v spray as you fucking were LG x