Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian’s arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter blow last night; local internet subscribers were left floundering in a state of internetless disarray this morning as leaked photos of a TOPLESS PIPPA MIDDLETON hacked from the Cloud were leaked onto the web, causing it to break YET AGAIN under the resultant unbearable pressure.

Local internet spokesperson Quentforth Prapphamblish-Smythe, OCD of Rochdale based dot com software platform tech bubble e-commerce developer business, was quoted in a live podcast as saying;

“I wasn’t aware that the interweb was a tangible thing what you could break. Shows what I know. Are you sure this isn’t just yet another cynical ploy to sucker masturbation enthusiasts to direct the mice on their browsers toward a specific satirical news-based website in order to artificially massage their traffic figures for advertising revenue purposes? Just listen to me. I sound like some mad conspiracy theorist”.


As of this morning, topless local grandmother Ms Pippa Middleton, 86, of Falinge Estate, Rochdale, was unavailable for comment.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.