His Royal Highness to play part of Grand Moff Tarkin again in latest outing of sci-fi saga.

Warning: contains spoilers

Shooting began today for the latest instalment of the long running science fiction saga that has gripped generations of loyal fans for over four decades; Star Wars Three And A Half, A New Marketing Franchise, is scheduled for release in the spring of 2019.

Set somewhere between episodes Three (the first one) and Four (the second one), episode Three And A Half (the tenth one) will see the Duke Of Edinburgh in a return to his role of the Grand Moff Tarkin in a surprise twist as the original Tarkin’s twin brother, Keith. Dave Tarkin, whom the Duke played in the first (Third) movie, was blown up in his Death Star in the final scene.

Director Ken Loach told us “Original cast members are dropping like flies at the minute, I spend more time at celebrity funerals than I do on the shitter these days. Phil’s on borrowed time as it is, so we’re hedging our bets and having him killed off in the first scene. He gets knocked down on a zebra crossing by a landspeeder five minutes in. Bang, just like that. There won’t be a dry seat in the house”.

This is the first Star Wars outing for ‘I, Craig David’ and ‘Riff Raff’ director Loach, whose films are noted for their zany, madcap and close-to-the-knuckle antics; “I’m a big fan of Brian Rix and the old Carry On films, and I think this will shine through in this production” he told us. “Expect lots of ‘Phwooar!’s from Robin Askwith (who Plays Luke Skywalker in the latest epic) and plenty of Babs Windsor with her kit off”. Barbara Windsor, 78, will play the role of Princess Leia for the first time in the franchise’s history.

HRH The Duke Of Edinburgh Prince Philip’s character is best known for blowing stuff up in his Death Star and making casually racist witty slurs. Fans shouldn’t be disappointed with Keith’s part in the latest movie, as he humorously sticks it to the Jawas, the Hutts, the bum faced walrus guy and the Sandpeople. Especially the Sandpeople.