Thomas Cook Launch “40% Off Term-Time Holidays” Voucher
Holiday giant Thomas Cook have taken action after coming under pressure from the Government and consumer groups over the price of family holidays...
Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat
The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...
Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
Ice Cream headache pandemic reaches CRISIS point, as heatwave TERROR continues
With millions of Britons terrified by the recent apparition of a giant ball of fire in the sky, there was further harrowing news today,...
Tapas actually Spanish for ‘not enough food’ confirms Spain
Spain has confessed to the international community today that the word Tapas actually translates as 'not enough food'.
The revelation comes after local office drone...
United Kingdom gobsmacked as child turns four
It was announced yesterday, with the publication of an official photograph, that a child is turning four today.
We spoke to anthropologist, Dr Kay Smallbones...
Fears sugar tax could mean bottom falls out of mobility scooter market
The British mobility scooter industry has warned that it could see a huge drop in production of mobility scooters following the introduction of the...
Stop calling us liars, lying racist shitsticks tell Microsoft
The Daily Mail is calling for a web browser alert that tells readers that prolonged exposure to its website will turn them into completely...
Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun
The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler.
One reader commented, "It's strange that...
Satirists across the globe have a day off due to lack of news
The Daily Mash, NewsThump, SNN and The Poke all refused to post content today as world events seemed to have ground a to halt.
"A...
Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy
A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed.
Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale,...
I just want things to be the colour they were before, admits Brexiteer
Icon, n. A person or thing regarded as a representative symbol
"'Back and Blue - Brits will get their iconic dark blue passports back after...
American tourists Popeye cockup
A group of American tourists are threatening to sue a Birmingham hotel , after claiming that the owners have exposed them to humiliation and...
Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...
“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”
Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months
Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other 6 months...
Farage performs volte-face on Europe after Trump-May love in
Seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has announced he may be in favour of the UK's European Union membership after all.
In an...
