Reports have reached the Rochdale Herald that Boris Johnson was spotted by the side of the M25 yesterday waiting for a recovery truck.

One witness described the scene, “I saw this car and it was a total write-off. The wheels were on the carriageway and the doors had fallen off. The traffic was backed up for miles and there was a herd of elephants in on the hard shoulder.”

A further witness described how the recovery didn’t go according to plan.

“I could see this bloke with a big yellow wig, massive shoes and pallid complexion. When the recovery truck got there Boris fired water into the recovery truck drivers face. It came from a flower in his pocket. Then his bow tie started spinning.”

It’s alleged that the recovery truck driver refused to tow the car away after Mr Johnson’s trousers fell down. At this point the police were called and Mr Johnson was arrested on suspicion of exposing himself to passing motorists.

Reports that Mr Johnson asked a policeman if he wanted to see Mr Johnson’s elephant are unfounded. Although, Mr Johnson was arrested on suspicion of importing foreign animals. A charge Mr Johnson denies.

It’s alleged that once the car was recovered Mr Johnson’s helper monkey, David Davis drove the car back to Mr Johnson’s house.

Johnson was last night alleged to be still in police custody after Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) refused to pick him up.

Mr Johnson will probably have to cycle home on a Boris-unicycle however, his shoes may need changing before he can do this.

Reports of a ‘killer clown’ on the M25 have since been dismissed.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.