To a POTUS

Yon tangerine faced Yankee prick,
that makes the people aw feel sick,
who has a little tiny dick
and a big red button

He’s welcome not on Scotland’s shores
and if he dare to knock our doors
we’ll smack him squarely in the baws
wi’ a haunch o’ mutton

So haste ye back to Washington
and leave us here in peace alone
for none of us will e’er condone
your racist views

Your wiggy head, your farty name
Your tiny hands, an awfy shame
your gobshite mouth will ay proclaim
you are “Fake News”

Thomas Thomas is Sub-Editor for The Rochdale Herald. Thomas is proud to support such causes as "Cornwall for Jam First" and "Drop Scones Not Bombs". His personal motto is "Fuck it, why not?"