Builder who did the quote for Buckingham Palace sucked air through his teeth first
After a quick survey of Buckingham Palace on Thursday, 38 year old builder, Barry Burford reportedly said;
"Well, there's the pointing, supplies, man hours, that...
Blair offers May role as Middle East Peace Envoy
Embattled Prime Minister Theresa May has been thrown an unexpected life line today. A surprise call from Tony Blair offering her the plum role...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
“Your dad is a horrible man”, says man yelling at child because he doesn’t...
A middle aged man has today made another middle aged man aware that he doesn't like him by standing outside the man's home and...
Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate
Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...
Sweaty riot erupts in Leeds after Argos runs out of pedestal fans
As the temperature hits 25C in Leeds sweaty rioters armed with Soleros and Lyon's Maid Choc Ices are rioting in Leeds Centre and are...
Britain prepares to spend weekend listening to pensioners contrived war stories
British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories.
Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent...
Dirty Politics
Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...
Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham
The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
Government announces Festival of Brexit will be held in derelict car manufacturing plants
The Government has announced a new exciting celebration of Brexit.
Speaking exclusively to The Rochdale Herald, Government insider Cliff Edge told us, "The festival will...
Concerns raised over driverless lorry tests after results of ongoing driverless country test
Haulage and motoring groups were raising concerns this morning over driverless lorry tests on motorways, citing the results of the ongoing driverless country test.
Transport...
Police urge Burnley residents not to report sightings of fruit and veg in shops
Police in Burnley have been inundated with 999 calls after shops started stocking fresh fruit and veg.
Rumours that local shops had been taking secret...
Met office issue ice warning in winter
As weather experts issue yet another ice warning the people of the North West have told The Rochdale Herald that they actually don't give...
Outrage after child attends school Halloween party dressed as a MOSQUE
A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed...
Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief
In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
