Brexiteers have been scrambling around attempting to tell everyone that 14,000 job losses at Airbus and 3.8 million settled migrants was on a completely different bus.
Cliff Edge said, “On the one hand you could say that this is the result of people voting on meaningless soundbites. But I didn’t. I did my research by googling things that agreed with my point of view. 14,000 lost jobs is exactly what I voted for. We should pull out straight away.”
Brexiteer Bill Board said, “It’s a short term pain. So what if Airbus are going to leave should there be a no deal. Boeing are coming to replace those 14,000 jobs with 30. And obviously, because they’ve said this they’ll do exactly what I think they will.”
Stan Still said, “Good. We don’t need Airbus jobs. The motor industry has said it will pull out too. Get shut of the lot. They’ll soon comeback running when this country starts producing unreliable Rover’s and Austin’s again.”
Cliff also said, “I definitely voted for 3.8 million settled EU migrants and their families. That’s why I spent the whole run up to the vote telling anyone I saw eating croissants to pack their bags.”
There are some who aren’t happy though. Gethin Jones, representative for the soft fruit picking industry said, “All these workers will be useful as we can pay they bugger all as there’ll be so many of them. But if we do that, who is going to buy all this fruit? Pot noodle farming is the way to go.”
We did try to get a comment from Nigel Farage however, due to the increasing unprofitability of newspapers The Rochdale Herald’s Russian translator has been made redundant.
Elsewhere, it’s understood that Brexiteers are thinking of asking the Government to award cognitive dissonance settled status.
