National News

UKIP have launched an immediate inquiry into how 3 of its members managed to read a map and several signs to find a book shop in London. UKIP spokesman Cliff Edge said, "At first we...

People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today. Cliff Edge told us, "I got into work to be greeted by Janice on reception. She...

Street pushers in Glasgow have been demanding up to £2 for a hit of Irn Bru as addicts have started stockpiling ahead of a planned change in recipe. Irn Bru, widely regarded by many as...

Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.

The Russian government has denied any involvement in the poisoning of Aleksandr 'The Meerkat' Orlov, after the TV star was found unconscious outside his South London home. Police and paramedics were called to the address...

The Tower of London was last night illuminated by the light of 10,000 small fires as Aaron Banks and officials from Leave.EU burnt loads of documents. One onlooker, Bill Board said, "At first we thought...

The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers. Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the United Kingdom and the 105th tallest in the world. Construction began...

UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to trigger article 50. Although bendy bananas are not strictly allowed...

A woman from Cleckheaton told The Rochdale Herald today how her husband went shopping, with a list, and returned an hour and a half later with everything on it. Louise, 32, said "I'm still in...

A woman from Rochdale has taken the extraordinary decision to not dick about with the central heating thermostat. Barbara Dickinson responded to the fact that she was feeling a little bit chilly by going upstairs...

A child from Rochdale has concluded that life is meaningless and that everything dies during a visit to York with his parents during the Easter holidays. Sam Smith, 12, from Rochdale was taken to York...

Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary. This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily Telegraph claiming that Manchester students were being told to 'do...

Thousands of stay at home parents forced to play with their slack off kids all day have had to revise their 'happy childhood memories' of a White Christmas and Snowball fights.  One parent who wished...

Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney".  Claiming to have graduated one of Rochdale's leading Catholic schools, he has...

Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this time of the year. Millions of people woke up this morning...

A former Scotland Yard detective has told the Rochdale herald he was "shocked" by the amount of legal pornography viewed on a computer seized from the Commons office of senior Tory MP Lewis Neil examined...