Torch lit procession marks start of UKIP party conference
UKIP's party conference has got off to a spectacular start with an evening torch procession in honour of Nigel Farage through the streets of...
When is an aircraft carrier just a carrier?
Britain's new aircraft carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth, was commissioned today in Portsmouth.
The new carrier is at the cutting edge of British warship design and...
The Queen is afraid Donald Trump will leave orange residue all over Buckingham Palace...
The Queen is afraid of the orange mess Trump will make during his visit.
The President of the United States, Donald Trump wants to meet...
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Calling people a Black Bastard is a term of endearment, says Ryanair racist
A man who was filmed saying racist things to a black grandma on a Ryanair flight this week has said that calling her a...
Prince Philip denies sending Harry and Megan packet of mystery white powder
The Duke of Edinburgh has strenuously denied sending Prince Harry and Megan Marckle a toxic package.
The parcel was left on Harry and Megan's doorstep...
Rees-Mogg reveals time travel is workable Irish border solution
Jacob Rees-Mogg has revealed that the Irish border issue can be easily and practically solved using time travel.
Rees-Mogg revealed the plan today in a...
Home Office apologises for deporting ‘the wrong sort of brown people’
In an official statement released within the last few minutes, the Home office has apologised 'unreservedly' for deporting 'the wrong sort of brown people'.
The...
Royal baby to be named Prince Kevin. Probably.
Following the news that Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy, speculation is rife regarding the name the House of...
Tommy Robinson makes full recovery from racism after being diagnosed with Luton intolerance
Many people are unaware that their bodies won't tolerate Luton. But being Luton sensitive shouldn't stop you from living a healthy, happy life. Whilst...
Daily Express readers desperately hoping new Royal baby is a ginger
Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and...
“Your dad is a horrible man”, says man yelling at child because he doesn’t...
A middle aged man has today made another middle aged man aware that he doesn't like him by standing outside the man's home and...
Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day
In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...
FA cup cancelled due to Royal Wedding scheduling clash
The Rochdale Herald has learned that the Football Association have taken the unprecedented step of cancelling the 2018 FA Cup final.
The move comes after...
Anglo US relations at lowest ebb since war of 1812 as Queen joins anti-trump...
Anglo US relations have reached their lowest ebb since 1812 when British Force burned down the White House after members of the Royal Family...
