UKIP’s party conference has got off to a spectacular start with an evening torch procession in honour of Nigel Farage through the streets of Wolverhampton tonight.

This weeks UKIP leader, Gerard Batten addressed the gathered crowd with a speech that went on for 4 hours. Mr Batten has pledged to take the party in a populist direction.

He told the crowd, “People say we’re far right but we’re not. If anything we’re too left wing to be electable. I’ll tell you who else was left wing.
Hitler.
Do you want to end up like him? A bullet in your head and being burnt with petrol as a bunch of lefties approach your bunker.
Of course not.
That’s why we must go in this really populist far right direction.”

his speech also featured a dig at Labour, “They’re riven with Anti-Semitism. It’s disgusting. I want a go at the Muslims. That’s who the real enemy is.”

At this point Mr Batten’s followers set fire to a huge cross they’d spent an entire day building.

One member told us, “It was absolutely brilliant. Finally, UKIP are getting back to our core values. As we marched through the town the crowds around us were just looking on in silent awe. We finally have a leader worth turning out for.”

It’s alleged that tomorrows closing ceremony will feature a 34 ft tall Sadiq Kahn wicker man.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.