Jacob Rees-Mogg has revealed that the Irish border issue can be easily and practically solved using time travel.
Rees-Mogg revealed the plan today in a speech to the European Research Group. “The Irish border issue is easily solvable if we travel to a point in the future where the borer issue has been resolved and just copy that. We’ll then be able to take the credit as we’ll come back here and implement it meaning everyone in the future would grow up thinking we’d thought of it ourselves.”
“The alternative to this is to travel back in time to a point when Britain owned the whole of Ireland, kill Eamon De Valera and Michael Collins to stop partition.”
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College said, “So their completely practical approach is to use a technology that hasn’t ever been invented to do something that may not even be allowed by the laws of Physics. Then, there’s the issue of potential paradoxes they may cause. What if they do go forward in time and steal the idea to resolve the Irish border issue? Once they implement it here will the person in the future who thought of it not have to think of it meaning they can’t steal it and bring it back?”
These points were met with derision by the ERG, “I think we’ve all had enough of experts” said Jacob Rees-Mogg as he sat down in a chair with a spinning wheel behind him. Iain Duncan-Smith was then left to lead the rest of the Morlocks to Prime Ministers Questions.