War of the Roses: The Rematch
Rochdalians reacted with righteous fury over news of what is seen at best as an aggressive land grab and, at worst, a declaration of war by their sworn enemies - Yorkshiremen.
The original Wars of...
Rochdale Clown Scare – only Danczuk
Fears that the Killer Clown Scare had found its way from the United States to Rochdale have been given a custard pie in the face today.
Headteacher of Wiggingbottom Primary school in Rochdale had to...
Rochdale man disappointed he hasn’t been arrested for wishing people Merry Christmas
A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry Christmas.
Bill Board, who has been to church twice in 30 years told...
Burnley Nativity Play cancelled after search for 3 wise men and virgin ends in...
Burnley Council has been forced to cancel its annual community Nativity Play for the 126th consecutive year in succession.
After another exhaustive search of the Borough they were yet again unable to find three wise...
Burnley schoolgirl goes whole term without getting pregnant
The leader of Burnley council has called for calm today, after it was revealed a Burnley schoolgirl went an entire term without becoming pregnant.
Eric Dingle, confirmed that the school will be put under special...
Archbishops To Sue Builders Over Health and Safety Gone Mad
A group of five Archbishops of Canterbury are to sue the building firm Klumsi 'n Fook.
Klumsi 'n Fook, were carrying out renovation works on a small chapel when they accidentally broke the flagstones inside...
Sock Finds Owner as Appeal Goes Viral
Derek Winstanley of Rochdale was today emotionally reunited with his sock after a heart-wrenching appeal went viral amongst bored middle-managers & housewives who wanted to feel caring & important.
The appeal, started yesterday by Debbie...
Really clean woman furious with ‘Not OCD’ diagnosis
A local woman is said to be furious to discover that she isn't actually OCD.
"I clean the floor and hoover the curtains three times a day!" Barbara Dickinson, a 47 year old bank teller...
SNN and Rochdale Herald in Plagiarism Mr Tumble Rumble
The Internet exploded this morning amidst claims that The Rochdale Herald is not only guilty of making up the news but has been plagiarising The Southend News Network.
Professor Bryan Cocks of Rochdale's Community University...
On St David’s Day, everyone at the Rochdale Herald would like to wish our...
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Woman in critical condition after Ocado delivery goes right
A Rochdale woman was said to be in a stable condition after being rushed to Rochdale Infirmary this morning. An ambulance was called to the Cheetham Street home of 22-year-old Emily Sandle by the...
Manchester residents perform ceremony to bring rain back
Manchester residents are delighted that their rituals to the Rain God have worked and banished the burning eye that brings only searing skin pain.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College said, "In ancient times the...
US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's trajectory. The news was first reported by California's Yackler Observatory...
Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake
Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday.
Deep in the bowels of Hitler's favourite building, several documents advising that the Rochdale river...
Fears for Missing Dog as owners reveal ‘he just wanted to know who’s a...
There are fears for the safety of a missing Rochdale Golden Retriever who is reportedly suffering an "existential crisis."
Update – Barnardo’s children now receiving gifts from the Satire Aid appeal
Presents bought through the Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal on Sunday 2nd and Monday 3rd December will benefit children and young people supported by the children's charity Barnardo's in the North West.
Some of the...
