Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong
South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...
Nation in shock as use finally found for Ed Miliband
The nation was in shock this afternoon after rumours began circulating that Ed Miliband had done something useful somewhere up North.
"It can't be true."...
Man who only ever reads Jeremy Clarkson books outraged about Jane Austen appearing on...
A Rochdale man who only ever reads books written by Jeremy Clarkson has voiced his anger about Jane Austen appearing on the new £10...
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
Rochdale woman in Waitrose platitude tragedy
A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday...
Rochdale Herald attempts to break world record for the longest newspaper headline ever ends...
All at the Herald are devastated said Doris the tea lady.
Christmas lunch already ruined after Grandma forgets to start cooking sprouts before end November
A Rochdale family has had to cancel Christmas this year after Grandma admitted that she had forgotten to start cooking the sprouts in November.
Pamela...
16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Rochdale A+E under stress from record levels of chafing
A + E departments and walk in clinics are struggling to deal with thousands of cases of extreme chafing caused by the hot weather.
John Welsby...
Homeless Bloke says Stop buying me McDonald’s, I’m homeless not f***ing desperate
A homeless Rochdale man has been telling the Herald about how he's fed up of virtue signalling people only buying him McDonald's meals.
David Wild...
Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass
Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and...
‘If it wasn’t for your size I’d eat you’ cat admits to owner
An honest cat has admitted to its owner that the only reason it hasn’t eaten her is down to her relative size.
The cat explained...
Rochdale man surprised he hasn’t “turned out okay”
Brian Bamford from Bamford got the shock news that "he hasn't turned out okay" after a neighbour called the police when she saw him...
Rochdale’s Brickcroft Lane Social Club unveil The Danczuk Memorial Bin
It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens...
Hipster admits it is “exhausting” being a tool 24/7
Every now and then a new fad will infect society and be scoffed at by decent people, until it fades away into the abyss,...
People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose
UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...
