Norman Conquest renamed as nobody wanted a King Norman I

1
The Normans, with their cry of "Battle Means Battle!" defeated the English army, shooting an arrow into the eye of the English King Harold. Bet he didn't see that coming.
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

Paul Simon to redo one of his biggest hits in tribute to ex EDL...

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In a world exclusive, The Rochdale Herald can reveal that super succesful singer songwriter, Paul Simon, is working on a rewrite of the hit...

North Korean Defects After Experiencing Rochdale Delights?

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Thae Yong Ho, a North Korean diplomat, is widely reported to have defected from the People's Totally Free And Lovely Free People's Free Democratic...

Estate agent knows you want to fire him

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Terry Thomas, 33, a south London real estate agent, is aware every single one of his clients wants to fire him. Mr Thomas has been...

UK’s 2nd most popular boys name is currently Boaty McBoatface

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Latest figures released on the governments website www.gov.co.uk reveal the good old British sense of humour is alive and well as almost unbelievably Boaty...

Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”

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In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...

Keith Vaz in hiding after wife tells him she’s “fine”

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The whereabouts of Keith Vaz remain a mystery this morning after rumours emerged that he fled the country following a conversation with his wife...

Family dog doesn’t understand why you reward your children with food

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Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his...

Rochdale Rap Star Arrested On Drug Charges

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Hip hop maestro and rap superstar, 30 Bob, from Milnrow Rochdale, was arrested last week on drugs charges we can exclusively reveal. In a statement...
Trump Flag

I’ve just made a life size jelly of Donald Trump, I fear I may...

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“You have to send help.” Dr Thump implored the emergency operator. “If this jelly gets out of my fridge there is no telling what it will do. It might start a nuclear war or worse.”

Froom wins fourth Tour de Rochdale

Albert Froom was declared the winner of the Brown Vest yesterday after winning his fourth Tour De Rochdale. The famous bicycle race starts at The...

Iconic Rochdale Bridge Reopens

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An iconic Rochdale landmark built in the 14th Century has reopened after it was obscured from the public for over a hundred years. The bridge over the river Roch in heart of Rochdale's town centre was partly obliterated in a terrorist incident in 1903, and then paved over to make way for Rochdale's pioneering new tram network.

Yorkshire Tree Felling Firm Employing Bouncers To Manage Protesters

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It has been confirmed by the company tasked with removing as many street trees from the streets of Sheffield as possible that bouncers have...
Man with mug of tea

Northern man puts teabag directly in bin without putting it in the sink

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In a world first a northern man has put a teabag into the bin without first putting it into the sink for a few...

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