Salem trial lawyer says he’ll never work no win no fee in village again
“I’m very upset. This doesn’t seem fair. I did hours on this nonsense.” Rooster added. “I’d say my earnings went up in smoke, only that wouldn't be accurate, as they hung my clients, all nineteen of them. The bums.”
Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake
Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday.
Deep in the bowels of...
Couple decide not to get new bathroom after all
A couple from Middleton have decided not to get a new bathroom suite after reading in The Daily Mash about a couple who decided...
Inheritance should be spent on chardonnay and cruises not care says Rochdale man
Rochdale man Martin Williams has spent today in his local pub attacking the 'Tory Death Tax'.
Williams 48, told the Herald, "It's ridiculous. My mum and...
Three in critical condition after tragic scone miss-pronunciation attack
Police have closed access to Battenburg street in Middleton today as the investigation into an altercation at the Middleton tea rooms has left three...
Norman Conquest renamed as nobody wanted a King Norman I
The Normans, with their cry of "Battle Means Battle!" defeated the English army, shooting an arrow into the eye of the English King Harold. Bet he didn't see that coming.
Psychic wins EuroMillions for sixth week running
A Rochdale based psychic has won the Euromillions lottery for the sixth week running.
In an interview conducted 7 weeks ago Psychic Islet told us,...
Embarrassment as all members of EDL Halloween party dressed as spooky ghosts
The Rochdale branch of the English Defence League face fresh controversy this week after an embarrassing mishap at the annual members Halloween party.
"We've had...
Berners-Lee quits Internet following Rochdale Herald “Row with Linda”
The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.
This comes after the revelation...
Monty Python Parrot cleared fit for work by ATOS
The famous Monty Python Parrot was cleared for work this morning following a work capability assessment interview.
Man who refers to himself as an ‘alpha-male’ actually just a dickhead
A man from Rochdale who refers to himself as an 'alpha-male' is in fact just a bit of a dickead sources have revealed.
The news...
3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK
As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again.
Despite months of...
Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children
Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas.
One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...
Homeless man turns life around after being told to ‘get a job’
53 year old Gulf war veteran, Ian Stapleton, had been living rough on the streets of Manchester for the last seven years.
The heroic soldier...
Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape
Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in.
Local artist and bin man,...
Wife suspects husband of having an affair with his shed
A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed.
“He was the most doting husband when we first married,”...
