Rochdale

Rochdale Good Name Besmirched By Internet Trolls

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The city of Rochdale was left reeling and in shock once again today as internet trolls took it upon themselves to deface an iconic...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...

Child believes summers are warm and England are good at football

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Worrying news reaches us from a Rochdale suburb of a child who has not yet learned the truth There are certain core truths you learn...

Rochdale Council name their new rubbish truck Donald Dump

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Rochdale Council recently held a competition to name it's new flagship refuse truck. Amongst the suggestions offered were 'Binny McBin Face', 'Shit Truck' and 'Binner...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...

Home Worker facing HR disciplinary hearing after sexually assaulting himself at work Christmas Party

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A home worker from Rochdale is facing a disciplinary hearing today after he allegedly sexually assaulted himself after getting drunk at his office Christmas...
Golfer

Fury as Brexit voter can’t get tee off time at Golf Club he isn’t...

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Local Brexit voter, Steve Dickinson, is said to be furious with Manchester Golf Club after discovering he can't get the tee off times he wants since letting his membership lapse.
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

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It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...

SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE

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Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...

‘If it wasn’t for your size I’d eat you’ cat admits to owner

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An honest cat has admitted to its owner that the only reason it hasn’t eaten her is down to her relative size. The cat explained...

Yorkshire Tree Felling Firm Employing Bouncers To Manage Protesters

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It has been confirmed by the company tasked with removing as many street trees from the streets of Sheffield as possible that bouncers have...

Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince

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Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with...

Rochdale man to drink 100 pints to help the N.H.S.

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Rochdale resident Jim Tossking has announced that he hopes to raise £25m for the N.H.S. by supping 100 pints of bitter. A regular at Rochdale's...
Audi A5

Audi driver has above average sized penis

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There were scenes of disbelief in Rochdale today after a man who drives a convertible Audi A5 was found to be in possession of...

Greater Manchester Police hire youngest ever Special Constable

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Greater Manchester Police have hired the youngest ever special Constable this week. James Cannings was sworn in by Chief Constable Rob Potts on Thursday. James...

Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday

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A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim,...

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