Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
Rochdale Nightmare Scenario As Shops Run Dry Of Pie Supply
Rochdale citizens were today warned against panic buying one of the staples of their diet.
A widespread shortage of Futtock's Pies has been reported...
Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake
Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday.
Deep in the bowels of...
Man pretending to understand the wine list
A man is trying his very hardest to look like he understands the wine list in a restaurant.
Steve Dickinson was handed the wine list...
Eager traffic tyrant issuing parking fines willy-nilly in the town
Disgruntled shopper Eileen McCarthy nipped into Poundland around lunchtime on Friday leaving her tartan bag on wheels parked up on the kerbside.
To her dismay...
Sheffield Tree Protestors Charged With Doing Nothing Illegal Are Freed
Two lovely blokes who were recently charged with doing absolutely nothing illegal by the dark forces of South Yorkshire police and Sheffield Council were...
Man in his 30’s caught using Snapchat
32 year old office worker Damian Green from Middleton has admitted using snapchat in a desperate attempt to look "cool" and "down with the...
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK
As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again.
Despite months of...
16 Dead In Rochdale Women’s Institute Needle Exchange Hep B Outbreak
The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated...
Berners-Lee quits Internet following Rochdale Herald “Row with Linda”
The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.
This comes after the revelation...
EDL firebombs PC World in Rochdale town centre
The computer superstore PC World, this morning lies in tatters as a pile of smouldering rubble following a devastating attack last night.
The trouble began...
Burnley twins with itself
After an extensive search, the Burnley Council has decided that the town best suited to twinning with Burnley is Burnley itself.
"We hired a consultant...
Simon Danczuk wins Prestigious most Tory Tweet Award 2017 Le Chatte d’Or
Simon Danczuk has won the 2017 most Tory Tweet Award after taking to Twitter to complain about homeless beggars in Rochdale today.
Sock Finds Owner as Appeal Goes Viral
Derek Winstanley of Rochdale was today emotionally reunited with his sock after a heart-wrenching appeal went viral amongst bored middle-managers & housewives who wanted...
Keith Vaz in hiding after wife tells him she’s “fine”
The whereabouts of Keith Vaz remain a mystery this morning after rumours emerged that he fled the country following a conversation with his wife...
