Man buys Polaroid Camera takes 40 pictures of his genitals and hands them to...
A Burnley man has been explaining why he bought a Polaroid Camera over the weekend, used it to take 40 pictures of his own...
British celts forced to admit fighting trousers no good against Roman legionaries
“The weather was our best asset.” The Society admitted. “There were voices in the early years of Roman expansion within Britannia who argued we should just hold a non-stop series of BBQ’s for the Romans until they got fed up trying to spit things in the rain and went home. It's actually how we got rid of Caesar back in BC dates.”
Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...
An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter.
Police were called in the...
Rochdale council ban nativity costumes except for Muslims
The education department in Rochdale county council has issued a blanket memo to all schools for "insensitive fancy dress" for nativity plays.
Couple sentenced to five years in soft play centre for having unprotected sex
A Yorkshire couple have received a five year suspended sentence for having unprotected sex.
The sentence, which has been suspended for two years, is the...
Many Muslims not rioting in streets
The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...
Woman’s bad mood CURED by random bloke telling her to ‘smile’
A Rochdale woman has miraculously found the secret to happiness by following the guidance of a male passerby who told her to 'smile, love,...
UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means
UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp.
The announcement came after a social media...
Burnley residents fear diversity means marrying outside of immediate family
A Burnley man has told us that he fears moves for more diversity will mean that people will be forced to marry outside of...
Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs
Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers...
Rochdale woman in loo roll change shock
There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet...
Rochdale Reds watch Man Utd forge ahead with Brexit plan
Members of the Rochdale Reds Man Utd supporters association may ask the High Court to step in over Jose Mourinho's apparent Brexit plans.
United manager...
Man disappointed at not being told to remove England flags
A Rochdale man has been telling us of his disappointment at not being made to take his England flag down by the police. Martin...
Wife suspects husband of having an affair with his shed
A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed.
“He was the most doting husband when we first married,”...
Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital
Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek.
The jaded and cynical...
Norman Conquest renamed as nobody wanted a King Norman I
The Normans, with their cry of "Battle Means Battle!" defeated the English army, shooting an arrow into the eye of the English King Harold. Bet he didn't see that coming.

















































