British celts forced to admit fighting trousers no good against Roman legionaries
“The weather was our best asset.” The Society admitted. “There were voices in the early years of Roman expansion within Britannia who argued we should just hold a non-stop series of BBQ’s for the Romans until they got fed up trying to spit things in the rain and went home. It's actually how we got rid of Caesar back in BC dates.”
Drunk driver that crashed car into tree blames tree for causing accident
A drunk driver that crashed his car into a tree on Saturday night has told us the tree caused the accident.
A police spokesman said,...
22 year old discovers new green job is actually vegetable picking
A 22 year old Rochdale resident has told us that his new 'green' job is actually just picking vegetables for £3.50 an hour.
Bill Board,...
Burnley residents fear diversity means marrying outside of immediate family
A Burnley man has told us that he fears moves for more diversity will mean that people will be forced to marry outside of...
Rochdale man surprised he hasn’t “turned out okay”
Brian Bamford from Bamford got the shock news that "he hasn't turned out okay" after a neighbour called the police when she saw him...
Cheap bottle of wine is eventually returned to original gift giver
A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that...
Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage
The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...
Stereotyping men now a hate crime: Rochdale cracks down on Misandry
Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being...
EDL firebombs PC World in Rochdale town centre
The computer superstore PC World, this morning lies in tatters as a pile of smouldering rubble following a devastating attack last night.
The trouble began...
Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses
The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...
Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes
The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...
Fears for Missing Dog as owners reveal ‘he just wanted to know who’s a...
There are fears for the safety of a missing Rochdale Golden Retriever who is reportedly suffering an "existential crisis."
Burnley schoolgirl goes whole term without getting pregnant
The leader of Burnley council has called for calm today, after it was revealed a Burnley schoolgirl went an entire term without becoming pregnant.
Eric...
Attenborough spotted in Rochdale as folk turn primitive
Residents of Rochdale coming to terms with the swear ban are having to learn how to communicate from scratch.
Restricted from their usual expletive fuelled...
People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose
UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...
Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals
Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables.
A...
