Two grandparents from Rochdale have spoken about emerging from the embarrassing ‘Jacob Reees-Mogg’ phase of their life.

Orla Board told us, “We’ll look back at this and laugh about it. It’s a bit like flared trousers, velour tracksuits and poodle perms. At the time you thought they were brilliant but then you look back and wince. I thought Jacob Rees-Mogg was some kind of heroic figure fighting the system. Now I see that he’s just an empty ill-fitting suit.”

Orla’s husband Bill said, “I thought Rees-Mogg was the Churchillian leader we needed to lead us to Brexit glory. But when I saw him yesterday I realise that he’s just a mix of Frank Spencer and Herr Flick of the Gestapo. It’s going to be a long Christmas this year. Our kids are going to take the piss remorselessly. Like that time I was experimenting with facial hair when Shoestring was a thing.”

The pair have now confirmed that they will burn their replica Rees-Mogg suits in a ceremony to be held this afternoon. They have also turned in their Moggmania identification cards and pens.

One cultural studies analyst (We don’t understand what that is either, answers on a postcard) told us, “I think as things go on we’re going to see more of this. There’s still people out there who don’t think that Andrea Leadsome isn’t totally deranged. I don’t think this will totally be the end. Apparently, there are still Momentum members who don’t realise that Corbyn a bit rubbish as well.”

 

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.